Breaking the news....  

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
5791 posts
8/25/2005 4:16 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Breaking the news....

Ran into a woman tonight while I was working some security work who had just had a fight with her boyfriend of two years. She is 43 with 2 kids already (ages 18 and 26)....and he is 38 with 1 child (age 12). The fight was about her announcing on their 1st day of their 3 day visit together that she was pregnant. He had a cow!!! A huge fit and kicked her out of the hotel room. We had a long talk together and I told her...

1. When I became pregnant with my now 18 yo daughter, her father didn't want to bring any children in this world and threw a fit. Eventually, he was excited about her birth and more about her as she grew up.

2. I told her that I am dating someone fairly steady now and had mentioned to him that the last time we met, I had my period the next day...and I haven't had my period since (that is how long it has been). He got all grossed out by that statement and suddenly got quiet. I asked him what was the matter and he stated that he didn't know that things like that still happend with women our age!!! LOL... I told him that I am only 46 and still at the prime of my life. She laughed and added, "Yeah, we aren't dead yet!!!"

I had her laughing so hard and she went back to the room with her boyfriend and I never saw her the rest of the evening. I am guessing that all ended well for the evening. At least, I hope so.

I am surprised the ignorance of the knowledge of women's parts in that some men believe that women simply do not have a life after they turn 40. They hear about some women going through menopause at 23 - 30 years of age....but, that (I think is more the exception than the rule)......

As much as I would rather not deal with the monthlies, I still do and it doesn't look like it is going away anytime soon!!! lol.... Perhaps, it isn't a pleasant thought, but it is a fact of life.

She didn't really want to be having a baby at 43 years of age; however, (1) it did take 2 to create the baby. Besides having 2 of her own children already, she is about to have 4 grandbabies very soon. It was the last thing on her mind as well...but, it has been done and life choices have to be made at this point in time. She really does need the emotional support of her boyfriend to have this baby - whether or not he continues to stick around physically for the child. Hopefully, he will be there 100% for her.

He didnt' realize at the time, it was as hard breaking the news to him as it was for him to be hearing the news broken to him.

What are your thoughts?????
Have you thought about, "what if" a baby is created out of the sex I have with someone else???

I know I wonder about that all the time. I know that, IF it were to happen, I would consider it God's blessing and move forward with the raising of the baby....whether or not it is with the father; however, having gone the single parent route before, I would much rather prefer to be with the father of the baby as a family.

Just curious...

ps.... No, I am not pregnant... lol... (before the rumors start flying!!!)

yumacpl78 38M/38F
6 posts
8/27/2005 1:37 am

I knew I was pregnant after two weeks with my youngest. My husband didn't believe me (our daughters were 5 and 13 months at the time). We weren't prepared to have another one so soon. Of course we hadn't been prepared for the first two either. We were using condoms but as everyone knows during moments on spontaenity (sp??) people slip up. I took a home test he didn't believe, went to the doc and my husband tried to say that the doctor was wrong as well. Of course he finally conceded that I might just be pregnant once I started making appts. Now I have an IUD even though he is asking for a fourth, and we don't have to worry about condoms, at least not with each other.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/26/2005 7:45 am

mzhunyhole - Nothing like spoiling other people's kids. I love doing that as well...


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/26/2005 7:42 am

travelingintexas - Ahhh.. so you understand the single parenthood concept quite well then....

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/26/2005 7:40 am

Inominate563 - Some people don't none-the-less; however, even if you do, it certainly doesn't mean it is failproof....


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/26/2005 7:39 am

AmberSolaire - I so totally agree....

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/26/2005 7:38 am

tattooedartist - You are leaving? Say it isn't so.... Please do keep in touch....


Inominate563 45M
47 posts
8/25/2005 3:36 pm

how do people in this day and age not use a condom?

AmberSolaire 42M

8/25/2005 2:38 pm

Im surprised people even think about this.Once a childs concieved there is only one option.

tattooedartist 44M

8/25/2005 1:19 pm

Ive been blessed to have your presence in my always made me smile to come into your world. I came here to say goodbye and to wish you all the best dear one. May God bless and Keep you, as only He can.



rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:23 am

luv2pleasit - It definately sounds as though you are well blessed.... and you are sooooo very right, "Part of what defines you is how you handle those moments in life." I believe that whole-heartedly!!!


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:21 am

five_speed - No doubt.... it makes one become a little pickier about who one shares as bedfellows, doesn't it????


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:19 am

straightten2002 - Sure wouldn't want you for an enemy!!! lol..

Good for you!!!


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:18 am

TantricTraveller - Ahhhh... from what I understand, that isn't necessarily a full-proof option either.....Things can still happen, albeit in much rarer instances...


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:16 am

HughJarse2000 - Even "accidents" are acts of God... in my eyes... especially with the results of my own daughter being born.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:15 am

DallasPhallus56 - Ahhhh... don't get too complacent about it. When My daughter was conceived, I was on the pill and my then husband was using condoms. lol... He wanted to make doubly sure that we wouldn't bring a child into this "awful" world. God, obviously, had other designs on our plans. I call my daughter a Godsend as a result.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/25/2005 10:11 am

papyrina - Absolutely!!

wyvernrose - Almost has to be considered these days.....

luv2pleasit 51M

8/25/2005 7:39 am

I am the father of 3 very bueatiful birth control babies. None were planned or even necesarrily wanted at the time they came but as you put it ... its a fact of life and a risk that you take everytime. I had a Vas. and that seemed to stop everything just fine. Divorced and re-married to a younger woman who now thinks she may want kids I am now considering un-doing or re-doing what was done or un-done. I must admit that being 40 and allowed to be much more sexually open this idea scares me. The whole pandoras box thing you know. But despite if all I can tell you that I would never solely blame the woman for getting pregnant and how anyone could ever blame the kid for it I just cant understand. The fact of the matter is that sometimes things happen and sometimes for reasons we just cant understand. Part of what defines you is how you handle those moments in life. To anyone out there who believes different even for a moment, stand up, be an adult, face your reality and take responsibility. In the end you will be rewarded. I know I have 3 times.

five_speed 41M

8/25/2005 6:40 am

Once with a girl friend and once with my wife...

With the wife I was surprised, and worried about the financial aspects of having a child, but I was excited. I never thought I'd want children, but when the reality hit me that I was going to be a father whether I liked it or not, I found I was ready and actually looking forward to it - so much so that I was dissappointed when it turned out to be a fluke.

It was different with the girl friend. We'd had many problems in the past; I think we were very compatible physically but were like oil and vinegar emotionally. We she told me she thought she was pregnant and realized i was going to have to be associated with her for the rest of my child's life, that this psycho woman was going to be the mother of my child and have claim to my bloodline. I totally freaked out. Not on her. I kept my cool until I was alone, and then I came totally unhinged. It was enough to finally make me start thinking with the right head, and after it became clear that she wasn't pregnant, I stopped sleeping with her, and that ended the relationship.

007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
8/25/2005 6:38 am

Considering that I am a married woman, if that happened to me I would go totally nuts. Not to mention ruin my family. So I guess the best thing to do would be to make sure to play it safe.

Also if a man played with me knowing full well he helped to make that baby, then deny me, his ass would be "grass". I can understand a man wanting to deny me, but to deny my child, one he had hand/dick in making. I'd tie his balls in a knot. Having another child would not be what he should fear, because if he kicked me out over it, he would have to fear ME for the rest of his life.

I am just being me and truthful. Thats why it's better to be safe than sorry.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

TantricTraveller 44M
45 posts
8/25/2005 6:37 am

I have been lucky to never have an "accident" with sex that resulted in pregnancy. Made me wonder if I might be infertile actually.

Anyway, I took the decision a while back that I didn't want children, and didn't want the risk either, so had a vasectomy. Yes, I think about the consequences, of what I do. If it had happened, then I would have stuck around and taken responsibility.


HughJarse2000 47M

8/25/2005 6:16 am

I consider it every time I have sex.
The world is screwy right now.
Kids deserve a better chance than an accidently pregnancy.
It is the worse act of selfishness to fall pregnant in this manner.
And the onus is on both adults to prevent such things.

Just my 2cents

DallasPhallus56 60M

8/25/2005 6:04 am

Ah yes, that side effect of all the fun people have that so seldom gets mentioned. As far as I know, I don't have any children, but had I stayed married, I probably would have. I don't believe in fathering children outside of marriage, and so would probably marry any woman who got pregnant. However, my recent lovers have been on the Pill or I've used condoms, so that hasn't been an issue. So yes, I have thought through the "what if."

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/25/2005 5:13 am

lol yep think about it frequently considering I can't take any form of the pill

boney has considered it too....


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
8/25/2005 4:55 am

same thoughts as you,my mistake ,not the childs,get on with it,love it and do my best or it

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