A time to be careful -- through a eyes!!  

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
5791 posts
6/3/2005 12:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A time to be careful -- through a eyes!!

Through a 's Eyes...

Please read this for your own safety!!!

Guys, please send these to any females that you know and care about.

Ladies, be careful and please share this with all the ladies you know.

A group of and date in prison were
interviewed on what they look for in a potential
victim and here are some interesting facts:

1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They
will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3. They also look for women on their cell phone,
searching through their purse or doing other
activities while walking because they are off
guard and can be easily overpowered.

4. The time of day men are most likely to attack and a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.

5. The number one place women are abduct from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

6. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7. Only 2% said they carried weapons because
carries a 3-5 year sentence, but with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they
usually get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9. These men said they would not pick on women who
have umbrellas or other similar objects, in their
hands, that can be used from a distance. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth the trouble.

10. Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk,..... I can't believe it is so cold out here; we're in for a bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, and you lose appeal as a target.

11. If someone is coming toward you, hold out your
hands in front of you and yell "Stop" or "Stay Back!"

Most of the this man talked to said they'd
leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12. If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell, "I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY!" Holding it out will be a deterrent.

13. If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with
strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and arm pit or in the upper inner thigh -- HARD. (IF you can get ahold of him.) One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date her, and she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands so that the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand; it REALLY Hurts.

14. After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's private parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more but the thing these told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15. When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as
possible with as much pressure pushing down on
them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16. Of course the things we always hear still apply.

Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone
with you if at all possible. If you see any odd
behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts.

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd
feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.



I saw a safety expert on Oprah's show, and he stresses that if someone gets in the car with you (EVEN WITH A GUN OR KNIFE) and tells you to drive somewhere, run into a wall, another car, a lamppost, something! He will more than likely jump out and run as fast as possible.

If he ever gets you in a secluded area, you are DEAD!

So a damaged car is better than being dead.

Not that we women ever have to worry about these things with our AdultFriendFinder men; however, this is exactly the type of thing that makes us be oh so careful and picky!!!


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/9/2005 11:58 am

BareWithUsPlz - Hey! Thank you for your added comments. Poor excuse for human beings are the ... you are so right. As a victims advocate, I have seen many emotional scarring last for decades after a -- the can be less than 10 minutes but the scarring can last a lifetime. You are so right about that too!!

Thank you for your added comments!!

BareWithUsPlz 54M/54F
2 posts
6/9/2005 12:35 am

Wizard6951 - some great comments. I do disagree on one point however. You're right that is not about sex. is about power, not violence normally. Most want to show their power over a woman by taking what they want. Harming them puts them into a whole nother felony, which is also why they don't want to carry weapons. One other thing to keep in mind. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, DO NOT STAY IN IT! DO NOT STAY IN IT!!!!! Get out and stay in the trees, or somewhere close by where you can see it. DO NOT come out unless a MARKED squad car shows up. It's to easy fake an unmarked car and your mistake could cost you your life! I know that's tough in winter in many states, but everyone has a cell phone now....be safe, you can warm up later....but only if you're alive! I read recently that the some of the New England states have barred their troopers from pulling over cars after dark in unmarked vehicles. They can follow you, but are required to call for a marked backup before making a stop. This is due to fake cars and women being attacked. If an unmarked car tries to pull you over after dark, drive to a lighted area before you do so. Turn on your flashers to let the officer know you see him. Call 911 on your cell and tell the dispatcher what you're doing. She can contact the officer by radio or get one on the way if the car trying to pull you over....shouldn't be. Use your head, it may keep it attached! There's too few of you already, we don't need to lose any more to these predators.

Ladies, please....be careful and heed the warnings! Do not think it cannot happen to you. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN! Everyone of you are beautiful and precious, and losing even one of you to these worthless excuses for human beings is far to high a price to pay! Even if you survive, it will change your life forever, and not for the better.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/6/2005 11:49 pm

wizard6951 - Wow! Some great comments. You are so right on target about the OC pepper spray. Got to also remember which way the wind is flowing. Don't want to spray it and find it spraying into your own face!!

Since I work with women and children at a shelter, I am going to look into the books that you have recommended...

Thanks for the feedback and comments...

rm_wizard6951 65M

6/6/2005 10:00 pm

Overall - great information! Several specific comments - I disagree strongly with #12 - telling them you have pepper spray. You're just warning them what you're going to do which aids them deflecting your use of the spray or taking it away and using it on you. If you are in fear that you will be assaulted / , spray them down! Eventually they will get over it.

Also the OC / Pepper spray needs to be quickly accessible, not in the bottom of a purse. It needs to be in your hand. Finally OC works in 95% of the cases, but there are some wackos, drunks in particular, that it doesn't stop. Always have a back up plan if it doesn't work.

Also you're working under the premise that is about sex. Usually it isn't. is about violence, sexual violence.

Two suggested books to read that are relevant. "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker, and "The Anatomy of a Motive" by John Douglas.


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/6/2005 1:09 pm

cajunpet -- I am not sure about the current statistics.... I did a paper about this subject matter a few years ago for one of my CJ classes; and, for that time frame, your summations is fairly accurate, I think.....

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
6/5/2005 4:50 am

Thanks for the great information. I wonder what are the real statistics of date are. I think that maybe one third of all date are reported, especially among college ladies, that are so often in the news.

Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/5/2005 12:13 am

Khiere - Actually, that is not necessarily true. Sometimes they "know" you by your patterns that you establish and your vulnerability.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/5/2005 12:12 am

lustmirror -- yeah, kindof makes you think a little. Like to mix in a few of these types of thing with the others....for variety...

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/5/2005 12:11 am

protonic man - You are very welcome!

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/5/2005 12:10 am

castellano - Yes, prevention is always the best medicine.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/5/2005 12:09 am

mzhunny -- yeah, I have had think about a few things too...

Khiere 33M/33F
2 posts
6/4/2005 4:12 pm

thank you for that information but you do have to realize that mosts know their victim and vice versa

lustmirror 63M
2897 posts
6/4/2005 9:26 am

a tuogh topic to comment on...
but from the high number of views
I am sure that this opens some eyes
and reconfirms what some others have known
good post

ProtonicMan 47M

6/4/2005 9:15 am

TXRose - Thanks for the great PSA. I learned a few things, and I will pass this along to a few people.


castellano73 46M
2 posts
6/4/2005 5:08 am

hi there,
it sounds interesting and i will pass it on to my network ladies....even though i STILL believe prevention is better...
hugs to you

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