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Teaching an old dog...
Teaching an old dog...
I know that this will sound odd to some, but in all honesty I have never really dated in my life. I seem to have gone from one relationship to the next, and I’m not sure why. Some people are frightened of commitment; could I be frightened of casualness?
Now I am sure that it is possible to be scared of being alone, but I have spent years by myself between relationships and never had it bother me. Yet, when I find someone that I am attracted to it seems that it always develops into a long-lasting, committed union.
Not that there is anything wrong with that. It’s simply that as I have grown older, I have begun to take more seriously my friends’ assertions that I can be too nice of a guy: too honest, too generous, too loyal, and generally an all-around overgrown Boy Scout!
And, goodness knows, that when I was younger and interested in a girl I often heard those famous lines: “You are such a good friend that I don’t want to spoil that”, “You are a terrific guy, but I just don’t feel that way about you”, and the all time winner “I whish I could find a man just like you”… Which of course always made me think; ‘Well, here I am. Why settle for cheap imitations?’
Well, now it has been six years since I have been involved with someone and, as the hormones continue to pulse through my body, I am beginning to wonder if it is time to change my views and behaviour. I am wondering if it’s even possible to change them.
Could I be involved in a casual relationship with someone? Even now the thought of a one-night-stand is beyond me, but maybe I could be satisfied with being close friends and intimate partners with someone, rather than the all-or-nothing approach of my past.
One thing that I do know for sure is that whatever I decide to do, whatever course of action I decide to follow, I will continue to be a decent person. How can I be anything but? It is who I am at the core of my being and an undeniably large part of who I am.
So, I guess what it all really boils down to is: can I be in a more casual situation and still be true to my ideals, still be true to who I am?
I am not sure what the answer will be, but I do know that I have to try.
11/20/2005 6:30 pm
I am right there with you man. I can totally relater to what you are saying. I have enver had a one night stand in my life and I do not want to have one now. Much like you I have good friends and family that I am so thankful for. I have a wonderful daughter that is the sunshine of my life and my little miss magic. As much as I would like to have someone in my life on a more perminant basis. I am thinking more and more that a nice friendship with good companionship and respect for each other and intimacy would be very nice. I too am a good guy and I have high morals and high standatrds and I am asking myself the same question. Can I have a friendship with intimacty and know that I am a decent preson? The answer to that question is yes will i cheapen that and just jumping in the sac with just any one. I dont think so. I think I would still have to have some kind of emotional bond with that person. On what level that bond is I do not know but it would have to be more than a one night stand. Trust me you are not the only guy who is asking himself these questions. Thanks for letting me know i am not the only one either. |
Dan AKA Sixfootsix