Our last 30 days?  

rm_tkwswing 51M/49F
471 posts
4/30/2005 11:03 am

Last Read:
10/9/2009 10:45 pm

Our last 30 days?

We have been on AdultFriendFinder since February and paid for a Gold Membership through June.

The last couple of months have been so much fun; chatting, making new friends, camming, and blogging. The list goes on, however, we need to decide in the next 30 days if we will continue to pay for our membership or not.

As of late, we've almost given up on the whole AdultFriendFinder thing all together. Between the deception, the thievery, the name calling, and other childish games we have seen...AdultFriendFinder is almost worse than Melrose Place! People are leaving, taking breaks trying to figure out how this fits into their lives, while others are creating blogs to criticize them for their actions. It's disappointing...

We came here to find friends, not one-night stands. We have found a couple of real friends; ones to chat with and who will listen to us gripe about day-to-day life. For those few, we are grateful to have met.

We also came here to find lovers, but this is where the challenge lies. Deception and scams. Talk with no action. It's difficult for us, since we have small children, to make arrangements. Do we put this "life" on hold for now? Wait until they have grown? These are the hardest questions for us to answer.

Should we stay or should we go?

cairnsmale55 106M

4/30/2005 4:10 pm

It’s a tough call and I can understand your dilemma. I have only been a standard member for a very short time and, like you, have seen quite a lot of things happening in the posts and threads that frankly, leave me wondering.

I must admit that I was giving some real consideration to parting with the readies, but with all the issues I have found so far while just browsing through the site, I wonder just how secure is the payment system. Probably with good reason I am a little paranoid.

Missing posts and emails, threads deleted, some pictures allowed yet others not, indiscriminate censoring of emails and posts, network lists edited and in some cases friends that you added and accepted, were there one day yet removed another without reason, and more. All this as a non-paying member but you guys are!

To be fair, I have had occasion to contact the help desk, via email and found them to be very friendly, helpful and more importantly, prompt and efficient. They fixed my issue within hours.

I joined this site to meet people and make contact both for friendship and for sexual activity. Sadly neither has happened as yet. I have experienced much the same as you have, broken appointments, deception and time wasters, and this is from ladies! Its not like I am over the top, constantly badgering with winks, silly comments or making asides that are inappropriate, just read my posts, not only in the blogs, the magazine section but also as a member of several groups.

You guys are young and with a family and they have to come first but not at the expense of you private lives and personal enjoyment.

My words of wisdom would be to keep you profile live and stay with the blogs, I understand they are free to own, but down grade your membership and monitor the difference for say three months. Then if you can see no appreciable difference, make your choice at that point. Hope this helps, but reading back over what I have written, it sounds a little like a whinge, guess you get that.

canwmn709 52F
1 post
4/30/2005 6:51 pm

Hi guys...been here a few years and unfortunately you are not alone in experiencing all of these things...Like you we have faced the same dilemma and have limited time with 3 kids at home.....we did stay and have found that every now and then a nice cple will surface and we are reinvigorated....so to speak....Can only say that you have to work on it here as with many things...good luck

rm_Watcher2You 45M
5 posts
4/30/2005 7:20 pm

You might like to drop your membership back to something less expensive but, as for staying or going, Id recommend hanging on a bit longer. Just look at AdultFriendFinder as a resource, not necessarily the best way to meet the right people but as a means by which you can sort the wheat from the chaff. At all levels of the 'lifestyle' there are people you wont gel with or want to meet but sometimes we can forget the exist. You know who you are and want you want so expect others to have reached this place with the same idea. Unfortunately most haven't and AdultFriendFinder just serves as a little reminder for you. Also, if you only make a few friends then Id consider you've done pretty well.

rm_Steve3830 71M

4/30/2005 9:42 pm

I believe about 80% of the members on FF aren't serious about finding anybody. Maybe it's an ego thing for some to see how many view their profile. forming a friendship, to me, is the only way the sex part will work. Everybody is in a hurry! Having said that, I believe you should stay in for a while longer. You seem well educated. Use your experience to "weed" out the fakes. I think it is a lot more difficult than most think to find the right "lovers" I have been on and off this site for over 3 yrs and have met only one couple, but we are also friends. so maybe it is worth it. I am not a fan of posting "dick" shots, but it seems like that is what gets attention. The same way sensationalism gets TV news space. Who knows! But for me I would like to be friends enough to be invited to somebody's home just to have a chat more than being invited to a motel meet because of having a fat dick. To me the good love making should include lots of laughter, closeness, familiarity with the other people. "Ya got to get to know them first" I don't know how this might help you, but it gave me an oppurtunity to get some stuff off my chest! So thanks for that! Good luck, be patient, be careful! Steve

man4nooners1 46M
155 posts
5/1/2005 1:09 am

Hey guys. I have been a gold member here for 3 and a half years. I joined at a time long before blogs and even webcams were sort of a novelty. I have seen this site evolve from half swinger site/half meat market to what is pretty much a normal internet community where sexual banter is accepted and encouraged. For me, the 10 dollars a month I pay is worth it for the entertainment value of this site. I know all about the ridiculous activity(and nonactivity) of people on this site. The people with the boldest claims are usually the ones just here for fantasy, as they have no intentions of following through.

As for you, I think you can eliminate a lot of the poseurs and time wasters by doing a few things: The first is your profile, which is great, I've viewed it. But don't be afraid to be specific about your needs. It can be down to the exact day of the week and time you can possibly meet someone. Real people respond to specifics. I'd also demand that a phone conversation would take place early in the goings. If you can't get a supposed "couple" to have the female talk on the phone for a few minutes, what chance is there that she will materialize on a mattress for you in the future? Any demands you make will be completely understood by any other "real" couple. They are probably having the same experience. Lastly, if you decide to drop the premium membership, before you go, be sure to use the search link to find couples who may be standard members and might not have posted pictures. Maybe they gave up looking for someone real and haven't been on for a while(kinda like where you might be headed) you never know who might surface when you kick over those rocks.

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
5/1/2005 7:14 am

you don't need the gold membership stick with silver it is functional and cheap enough, if you purchase a few months at a time it does make a difference in cost which is understandable having young kids,

Finding regular ongoing playmates is the hardest particularly if you are looking for couples, trying to find 4 people who are compatible is bloody hard, and the games unfortunately they are a part of it, you get to realise who are genuine and who aren't sometimes they are not playing games but merely doing what is right for them, couples get in touch with each other, they might meet up in person, if it works you might go home or arrange a night when you can all play, if not then you go your seperate ways, people have their own reasons for not pursuing a meet, it isn't necessarily something wrong with you, but all four just might not click, finding a compatible couple is just as difficult as finding a single bi female willing to play with couples, it takes persistence and patience.

good luck


rm_tkwswing 51M/49F
114 posts
5/2/2005 8:32 pm

ITW - Thanks for the kind words. In reality, we are patient, and we have made some friends on here..unfortunately they all seem to live far away..lol. We do enjoy this place, and will continue to enjoy it. Sometimes the pettiness and other immature crap makes us wonder.

wyvernrose - We'll keep the silver in mind. We are finding it hard, but we'll persevere I'm sure. Blogs such as yours keep us coming back, waiting to see what comes up next.

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