The Porn Buddy, and do you have one?  

rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
2973 posts
3/10/2006 8:13 pm

Last Read:
9/20/2008 6:24 pm

The Porn Buddy, and do you have one?

Do you have a porn buddy?

Do you know what a porn buddy is?

Well let me tell you about the porn buddy...

Hypothetical situation here...

You're driving down the road on the way to a booty call, or a job interview, or to pick up a six pack of PBR for the NASCAR race on sunday, or whatever... when suddenly, out of nowhere, some dumbass 16 year kid driving his mom's mini van blows a stop sign cuz he's thinking about who to ask out to the prom and KAAABBBLLLLAAAMMMMOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Right into the side of your car, and *poof* you exit this world in a most gruesome manner.

Now, if you're single, and your parents are still alive, or you have siblings that are near and dear to you, then chances are good that at some point in time in the near future they are going to come on over to your house and start going through your stuff, to find out which one of them "surviving family members" is going to get your Dale Earnheart jacket that you bought in '98, along with all your other prized possesions that they could care less about really, but they could turn a quick buck on be-yay. But instead they find a closet full of blow up dolls, ben-wah balls, strap-ons, and dildos that have they own zip code. Do you really want your mom or dad finding these toys of pleasure? I don't think so.

So, what's a blogger to do, you ask?

The porn buddy. This is a friend who already knows everything about you and knows what kinds of toys are in your house. They may even have helped you in your selection with a few of them, or may perhaps have helped you come up with a name for one of your favorites. Hell, if he/she is a really close friend, they might have even borrowed the stuff! This is the person who you are going to entrust with your closest material possesions. Because when junior there blows that red light thinking about the come-on line he's going to use on Mary-Kate at the dance to get into her pants, the medics are going to find your body, and instead of finding an organ donor card, they're going to find your "porn buddy" card, give them a call, and they are going to come over to your house and clean out your porn stash so your mother doesn't have the plot of acreage next to ya the following week. And you, of course, must be willing to do the same for them. I mean after all, junior could cream puff them just as easily, don't ya think?

So, do you have a porn buddy?



Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/10/2006 9:41 pm

Absolutely, the dude even has a key and instructions as to what to take. If necessary he is to torch the place to stop the (bitch-twat) ex getting hold of anything.

Now as to going to the store to get a sixer of PBR - not gonna happen.


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
3/11/2006 12:03 am

I would never expect a sixer of PBR from someone like yourself, Fallic. But I couldn't remember how to spell hefeweizen.

tires


hrddkusk 44M
1 post
3/11/2006 4:56 am

HEY U KNOW WHAT I NOT SHY AND NOT ASHAMED IF THE MISSHAP HAPPENS LET MY FAMILY AND FREINDS SEE IT I DO BELIVE IN DISCRETION I DONT BRAG TO FAMILY AND EVERY ONE I KNOW ABOUT TOYS AND WHAT NOTS BUT ITS NO SECRET EITHER AND IF ANYONE WERE TO ASK ME OUT OF CURIOSTY OR NEED SOME ADVICE I ANSWER OPEN AND HONESTLY SO IF SOMTHING HAPPENS TO ME DONT NEED PORN BUDDY LET WHOEVER IS INVOLVED WITH MY PERSONAL EFFECTS LET THEM DEAL WITH IT LIFE IS TO SHORT NO REGRETS AS LONG ITS FUN ADN DONT HURT NO ONE ITS ALL GOOD BESIDES IT WILL GIVE THEM SOMTHING TO TALK ABOUT


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
3/11/2006 9:55 am

hrddkusk - I guess you're right, They will need something to talk about, won't they, since they clearly won't have an English diploma hanging on the wall.

Salz - I think the personal porn would be the worst for them to find! Maybe you should just send it to me now! LOL

Jez - We all need a porn buddy. Don't wait til it's too late!
The jacket's all yours, Jez!!

tires


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/12/2006 6:42 pm

tires, buddy, not hefeweizen either. It's Heineken if I am desparate and Boddington's or Urquell if I am in a civilized location.


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
3/12/2006 7:52 pm

I'm a Hefe kind of guy, although my flavor of choice lately has been Dead Guy Ale from Rogue Brewery. Good stuff. We'll have to get together some time and you can introduce me to Boddington's or Urquell. I don't live in a civilized location. LOL!

tires


MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
3/13/2006 11:37 am

Sheesh! My personal porn has already been posted, here in some of my blogs....Sissy gets the toychest and the buddies i have in the basement here get to choose a whip a crop, a flogger, or one item, of choice from the miad of cuffs and restraints that i will have accumulated by the time i meet the KABLAM!!! As long as it is as quick as sex with my ex...i will be happy to go. i will leave You a key to Sissys and You can slip in and make her share my toys !!! hehehe


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
3/13/2006 5:49 pm

I knew you'd be there for me Chelle! Thanks. You're the greatest!

tires


slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
3/14/2006 4:17 pm

LMAO... Yep, Tires I do indeed have a porn buddy who will come in and take it out in case anything should happen. She will also get into my computer and remove my whatever it is I don't want my daughter or whoever it is may find....and yes, I am also her porn buddy.

Funny story..and a true one too... My step dad's sister passed away in New Orleans about 14 years or so ago..and he and my mom went there to take care of her personal effects/house, etc. Now she was pretty damn old... like close to 90, ok... and so my mom is going thru stuff....and OMG... she finds this huge friggin black dildo...and worse.. it wasn't "clean"... I bet she (my mom) turned all sorts of strange colors....gaggin, shock, you name it... she was totally grossed out. Once she got passed the grossed out stage and after she had flung it into the trash...and washed her hands a dozen times....they laughed their ass's off.

Always make sure the toys are clean after you've played with them...bad enough for someone to find them...but even worse for them to find them in "used" condition.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
3/14/2006 6:19 pm

slide - OMG that is too funny! And gross too, but funny. Definitely changes things, somehow, huh?


RoyalPurpleRose 51F

3/21/2006 9:39 am

OMG!!! Thanks Slide ... I'm ROFLMAO. No Tires, I don't have a buddy. Too bad you are too damn far away

I have thought about this in the past. Mostly, I want the PC cleared. The rest doesn't worry me much. Guess I need to work on selecting someone.

~Kisses, RPR


ABiGirl4ABiGirl 44F  
2926 posts
7/25/2007 4:46 pm

Of course I do!
colcouple4f00
I get to try out the new ones Luigi wouldn't want to be part of, lol, at her place too!


Mz LJ


Lucent_C 55F

7/28/2007 12:54 am

OMG!!!! And all I thought Ihad to do was have my will ready! Who will I choose?

Maybe I should just train my dogs to chew everything into teeny-tiny bits of unrecognizable goo!

tillerbabe----->His_babygurl-------> Lucent
- evolution is constant.


cum2kissu2 52F
10792 posts
7/29/2007 12:58 am

Hey when i'm dead i won't give a damn.

A girl has needs & if my loved ones can't handle that.....Wel....
Not my problem, at least i'll die happy.

I did tell you i was going out having an almighty Orgasm anyway, Yeah!?

Kisses


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