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More about our weekend
More about our weekend
Okay, let me just start by saying this... We have got to be the most boring couple on the west coast. I know this, as it just occured to me how little it takes to entertain me. And my wife, I guess.
We started off Friday morning a bit early. I had to go into work from 7:30 til 8:30 or so, just to make an appearance and fake an illness mostly. (It had been awhile since I used "hemorrhoids" or "unstoppable anal bleeding") Turned out to work out just fine, as my boss also had Fridayitis. He called in before I even got there, so it was looking like a pretty good start to the weekend. I just told everyone... I don't even remember. I just left. That's the point, I guess.
We had to go to the title company and sign papers on the remodel refinance at 9:30. It turned out to go a little smoother than we had anticipated, which gave me time to go back to work and pick up my paycheck. A few more details and we were on the road well ahead of schedule.
Stop 1: Longview, Wa. for a quick trip through the drive thru for something that would be sure to give me gas for the next 65 minutes. As my mother would have said to me, "My eyes were bigger than my stomach" and I ordered too much food. No problem, right? Depends on who you ask, I guess...
Stop 2: Tumwater, Wa. for the "business" end of our trip which ended up taking a lot less time than we had initially planned on. We heard it would take about an hour or so, and it only took 12 - 15 minutes tops. Which was a good thing, since while the wife was taking care of her business, I'm in the lobby trying to tame the turmoil brewing in my belly. I felt like I had swallowed a pissed off midget on a bad acid trip. But it got worse.
Stop 3: Olympia, Wa. Our destination, but we ended up getting there about three hours too soon. So this meant we had to kill some time. Beautiful place to go, shouldn't be a problem. Right? Well, yes and no. You see, sometimes I have the attention span of a first grader, so I have to keep busy. This can sometimes be a little difficult... If I'm not comfortable. So we stopped at a park that we frequent up there, and decide that since we are planning on staying up late with our friends that night, maybe we should take a little nap in the car. Well, as soon as I stop the car and recline the seat, I'm not tired anymore. I know! The right music will put me to sleep. *shuffles through the CD's* Here, let's put this in.
Al Green. *tires, singing in the reclined positioned* Iiiiiiiiiii I wanna get close to you....OOOOh whatever you want to do......
Okay, you've seen my pix, right? I'm even more cracker white when I'm singing. Seriously. BAD!!!
We can't sleep now.
*ring-ring* It's my wifes cell phone....
wawa waaw wawa wawawawa waw. wa wawawa wa wa wawaww awa.(she wasn't talking to charlie browns teacher, it just sounded that way to me.)
"Hold on! Your kidding, right?
wa wawawa wa wa. wawawa wawawa wawaw wa. wawa wawaw awwawawa wa wawa wa wawawawa wa wa wa wawawa wawawa waw awawa wawawawa wwaw awa wa. wawawa wa wawa wawa wa!
Oh that's just great. So now what do we do?
waw wawaw aw awawa......
"Shit! Dumbass phone! Get to the top of this next hill. I've got to call her back.....
We ended up at the harbor where I took the pix in my last post. Outdoors, great place to deal with the pissed off midget.
Fast forward to later that night...
With our friends at their house. We ate, drank, caught up on several stories, drank more, drank a little more, (Well, you know how it goes when you've got all those different flavors of stuff to try out, and all the different combinations. Tough job, but someone's got to do it. Right? That's tires, at your service!) Then it's time for combat jenga. Correction; Drunk people combat jenga. This is the best kind. It's just like jenga, only with a lot of alcohol and stupidity added.
Day 2: It started kinda late. About 11:00 I think. Maybe 2:00 p.m. I don't remember. It was late. That night, we went out to sing karaoke. Now, put a microphone in my hand, and tires can sing. Well, a few songs anyway. Okay, maybe one... Okay, let me rephrase this.... Put a microphone in my hand, and you'll never get it back. I'm a show off. A bit of a ham, I am. Now Tits on the other hand can sing her ass off. She can do several artist very well, and she almost always has people coming to her to request she sing a specific song for them. These same people must be too intimidated by me, I guess. I dunno. Anyway, on this particular night, the DJ asked my wife if she would sing a song with him. A duet that is a spoof on the song "picture" by S. Crowe/K. Rock. In the song, the two individuals singing are drunks who keep buying pictures, with no way to pay, no where to go, they pass out and the bar, get cut off... you get the idea. Nobody asked me to sing with them. HHhhhmm. Must be the intimidation thing. While there at the bar, we did spot two couples who appeared to be swingers doing an initial meet and greet. The meet and greet from hell, that is. The first couple came in and sat down, followed shortly by the second. Now let's just say this lady from couple number two was smoking hot! She must have been late forties or so, but she had a body that most 20 year olds would be jealous of. They all sat down and had a drink or two. Probably two. Maybe three, but I don't think so. Next thing you know, they all get up and dance to a slow song. When the next song starts, the F of couple one and the M of couple two come back to the table and sit down on the same side, now arm in arm. The M of couple one and the F of couple two are still on the dance floor, but not really dancing as much as they are just standing? Know what I mean? Anyway, by the time they come back to the table and sit down, couple two F is so shit faced drunk that she can't even stay awake. I mean she was messed up. I kinda kept an eye on them all for the next several minutes, and I couldn't help but notice the "holy shit" factor coming out of couple one M, thinking "she's so hot, I want to do her! Are you sure she's too drunk?" It was entertaining to watch, they all left with who they came with.
We shut down the bar at 2:00 a.m. and wandered home for some more jenga.
Next morning. Started late again. Big breakfast, lovely day, packed up and came home. Kinda boring, huh? I know, but what's a guy to do. I'm 40 now, and well over the hill. But I do remember the good old days, when people weren't so intimidated by me....