How to look stupid. part one:  

rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
2973 posts
10/18/2005 10:40 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How to look stupid. part one:

True story:

5:10 a.m.

"beep-beep-beep-beep"
"smack" wife hits the snooze button. for the second time this morning.
wife stumbles down hallway into bathroom.

she had to rise early this day, to make a meeting across town at an unusually early hour. she went to the bathroom for her morning shower as she has done everyday for the past month since our wedding. when i suddenly hear her walk back into the bedroom and ask "Honey, where's the shampoo and conditioner?"

Now let me stop right here for a minute, because this ain't TV and all you out there in blogville can't see that I DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR!

"I don't know?! Have you checked the shower?" I say with enough sarcasm that the neighbors felt the bite.

"It's not there." she whines. she is not a morning person, afterall. "Are you sure you didn't put it somewhere?"

Yeah, that's it. After the Pro Pee Shu kicks in I'm going to need more than the dollar store can provide, so I'm stockin up now, and I'm starting with YOURS! I'm putting it in a box labeled "Carcinogenic Material: Do not Open" and putting it in the garage.

"I didn't put it anywhere." groggily, from the bed.

"Well it's not in the shower anymore"

"So what are you suggesting, that someone broke into the house in the middle of the night and stole your shampoo and conditioner?"

"Can yo help me find it, cause I'm running late."

Okay. At this point, I realize that I have no chance of getting up, finding the shampoo and conditioner in under thirty seconds, and going back to bed so I can pick up where I left off in my dream about being the guy who owned the town in the movie that patrick swayze did about the bouncer. yeah, you know the one. I can't think of the title right now, but I digress...

"Okay, I'll help you. Let me go get some coffee going, and I will find your shampoo and conditioner."

After all, she looses her keys on a regular basis. for all I know, her shampoo and conditioner could have been in her car.

I step out of the bedroom and start to take a few steps down the hallway towards the kitchen. Now we don't normally keep the house very warm at night, but this particular morning, the house was downright cold. Not normal. I start my way through the living room towards the kitchen when I look up and see that the sliding glass door in the dining room is wide open. I mean 4 feet wide open. It hit me like a brick wall. We HAD been robbed. I turned my head and noticed our cell phones - gone. CD's - gone too. DVD's - all gone. Now that's just in the first few seconds the things I can see before I even take a step from point of discovery. But I need to add something at this point.

Three days earlier, we did some major rearranging in the house, and literally everything in the house had changed from one room to another and maybe even back to where it was at least once. Everything. So we weren't even sure where some things were supposed to be. Let alone the fact that I'm freezing my ass off in my underwear wondering why the bastards took the shampoo and conditioner when I should be laying in bed driving Bigfoot in my '80's movie of the weekend.

This whole time, the hot water has been running.

Tune in tomorrow, I'll try to finish this up.


AmberSolaire 42M

10/19/2005 8:01 pm

Are you sure they didnt take it in order to MAKE A CLEAN GETAWAY.LOL

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lifeisablast333 54M

10/19/2005 9:14 pm

The Movie title is "Road House" And that rich dude gets killed in it.


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
10/19/2005 10:58 pm

good thing i woke up then, huh?


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