To all, I need answers  

rm_tennismaiden 59F
2103 posts
12/27/2005 8:28 pm

Last Read:
3/6/2008 5:49 am

To all, I need answers

Ok guys this Tennismaiden is stumped and needing your feedback. As many comments please post.

I recently encountered a potential suitor. He says be patient with him he must go slow and get to know me.

There are many exchanges on instant messenger over weeks, few phone calls and when the call is made the number is blocked so I cannot view the incoming call. No phone number was offered so I could ever call him.

I say I insist upon a landline someday, calls in the evening and time made for me to meet him. He is very reluctant to make any sudden moves. Tells me he wants to know for sure he won't get emotionally hurt by me.

I finally make a list of requests to continue dialog and meeting. He answers back he was crazy for ever thinking he could find room in his life and doesn't want to waste my time or his. I tell him honestly that I've never met anyone that was so reluctant to meet me and I'm skeptical of his being unattached at all.

He becomes defensive and testy to my gut reaction and we had some heated emails back and forth. In the latest email I'm referred as perhaps feeling "superior" to him? That I should have never doubted him and it is me he should be skeptical of.

My male friends say why did I even waste my time? That something is not right and I SHOULD be suspicious.

What is your take on that scenario...don't hold back!

rm_goodlygirth 32M
1 post
12/27/2005 8:41 pm

Fuck him is what I say... and don't take that literally. He seems like he has problems of his own and you shouldn't get mixed up with someone like that. You seem reasonable enough and I would trust your friends advice on this one.

docdirk 47M

12/27/2005 8:48 pm

Stay Away! If he's getting defensive and angry at you for something that hasn't even happened yet imagine how wacko he might be after something actually does. The ultimate decision lies with you, but there seems to be some instability on his part. You don't need that!

Let us know what happens, and good luck.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

Dallas_Male_35 47M
255 posts
12/27/2005 8:50 pm

Just my two cents, but if someone is interested in you, then they are interested in you and they want to share with you.

If a man won't tell you his home number, work number, cell, pager, or whatever, then he's hiding something. He doesn't want you to call him, because his wife or live in girlfriend would get pissed. Most men want to have their cake and eat it, too.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Relationships can't function without friendship. To have that, you must have trust, faith, honor and respect. Without those, you have nothing.

Right off the bat, this guy doesn't trust you with his number. He doesn't have faith in you or he woudl give it to you. He can't honor you by hiding from you, and he doesn't respect you enough to even offer a reason for anything.

I'm not sure about you, but it sorta looks cut & dry to me.

micahbiguns 50M

12/27/2005 8:52 pm

Trust your gut instinct and forget about him. If he is this much trouble in the meeting stage then you have to ask youself why? What or who is he trying to hide? Better to be leary than to find out to late, if someone is not open and honest from the get go then get gone!!

rm_RobBlunt 50M

12/27/2005 8:59 pm

Shit! The guy is a jerk, and maybe thats why you found him interesting? Come on babe, what a load of b/s-no room in his life. Okay maybe he isn't attached to anyone else,just himself! I know how easy it can be to fool look at my profile! You did not waste your time though, you gain with every experience like this. Ask yourself this, "is this the type of care you will expect from your man?" You know if you aren't the GODDESS in your own perspective no one else will see it in you either! All the best wishes for your quest!

jbcagle7073 36M

12/27/2005 9:00 pm

Something is up if he doesn't want to meet up with you even if it's just for coffee or something. There is something that is giving him cold feet and it shouldn't be you.

SexyRycheBabe 45F
820 posts
12/27/2005 9:05 pm

I'm not a dude but obviously something isn't quite right. He's either married or attached or is just keeping you baited because he likes the fishing game. What guy doesn't want to meet a woman on here or similar sites? Usually they are the ones who are wanting that and/or offering phone numbers before you're ready or wanting to have them.

There is no question here. You already have the answers you need. We have those womanly instincts for a reason. Use it! Pay attention to it. Honor it!!!

When they're turning the tables on you and commenting on your suspicions as "feeling superior" or getting defensive or WHATEVER they do, it's because they're just trying to shake you off the scent.
Because you're right!


bootielover3 56M

12/27/2005 9:09 pm

Simply put, MARRIED, you are an attractive desirable woman the only reason I can come up with is a commitment on his part.

Move on and enjoy.

rm_Bacebalray 70M
1 post
12/27/2005 9:10 pm

Would you like to spend life heading down a one-way street? I'm married and have had discreet meetings with women a couple times. They exchanged numbers (note I said "exchange") after we felt comfortable and trustworthy online with each other. I knew upfront if they were married and they knew up front that I was married. If he's that secretive, he's hiding a girlfriend/wife somewhere or something's wrong in another way. Perhaps the next thing you'll hear is "he wants to leave his wife, but he has a sick child and just can't do that." If a man wants to meet you, he won't back off letting you have some security in the relaitonship also. Your brain is telling your heart something here, listen to the sounds of silence he's creating.

bigfunlover2 57M

12/27/2005 9:10 pm

You're available, you appear to be open about yourself, and you're pretty. Why would a single guy be reluctant to meet you? That makes no sense at all to me. People meet people all the time. It's no big deal. Lunch is not a lifelong committment. How does he ever expect to meet anyone who can ensure that he won't get emotionally hurt? Isn't going to happen. None of that stuff makes sense.

So, what does make sense? Let's see: If a guy were married, for instance, how would he react? What is a married man's worst fear? Getting caught. So, IMing isn't much of a risk. Calling you on the phone isn't much of a risk either. You calling him, however, could be untimely and a little risky - hence the blocked phone number. How would a married man feel about a woman that becomes emotionally attached? Not good.....ever see fatal attraction? (just kidding), but still, he doesn't want any woman causing him trouble. That emotionally hurt thing is just bullshit to determine if emotionally attached has potential. In addition, how do many men handle being caught...not well, hence the defensive and testy reaction when you questioned his singleness. didn't waste your time. You learned some stuff, right? How can that be a waste of time.

Lastly, if I weren't married, and lived within atleast 2 states of you, I'd be all over you like hot fudge on ice cream.

bulging_boy 49M

12/27/2005 9:18 pm

for sure... he's a dick!

he's probably married, and what a waste of space!

Don't worry too much, there are some genuine ones out there

zoopc42 47M

12/27/2005 9:28 pm

well it is my experience that a guy like this might be attached but after thinking about it, I did similar things with a woman I was with. she just overwhelmed me with affection and some jealousy. there was too mucha dn I wanted to back off but I did'nt shut her out. I guess I wanted a slow burn rather then a hot fiery one that burns out quick.

just my exeperience

im_curious_4u 50M

12/27/2005 10:04 pm

He's either married, doesn't resemble his photos one bit, or is in prison. Forget about this clown. He has some issues to deal with.

rm_Young102 40M
181 posts
12/27/2005 10:11 pm

Stay away! Obviously something is wrong and be thankful that the dysfunctions have been evident form the beginning. Who knows what else would happen if you decide to engage in such a relationship. It would be an adventure, though I'm afraid not a pleasant one.

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
12/27/2005 10:27 pm

Get rid of him he is hideing something and I bet it is a woman.

CaboWaboVHnut 56M
637 posts
12/27/2005 10:28 pm

Definitely married, gay, or just plain wacko !!! No more contact would be my advice !!! There are just too many UN-attached and UN-complicated men in the world to have to put up with this kind of crap !!! Move on, and be glad things didn't go any farther !!! You deserve better, remember that !!! Peace !!! Cabo !!!

WhiffAminoNames 52M
145 posts
12/27/2005 10:36 pm

He's married. And he doesn't deserve you. And you should forget him.

rm_belsammael 38M
41 posts
12/27/2005 10:47 pm

I don't trust it either; it sounds like he's indeed doing something not entirely right, at least not to his feeling, so let him slide - it'll save both of you from more unnecesary feelings, worries, perhaps even fights. Find someone who's willing to fight for it as well.

Good hunting.

rm_SpankingFan 66M

12/27/2005 11:12 pm

Married or attached , .... forget him

rm_need4fire2 63M

12/28/2005 3:17 am

Geez..if you were interested in me ..i would give up my SSN for you lol ..he is obviously married or attached and got caught up in his own game..NEXT !!

rm_rufus3213 56M

12/28/2005 5:43 am

I would get as far away from this guy as possible...clearly something is amiss and he is hiding some things from you.Keep in mind that while it may take some time there are a lot of guys who will be upfront and honest with you.

brymich884 64M

12/28/2005 8:19 am

Your profile sets your standared on exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. He in-turn thinks that he can have multiple conversations with you trying to convice you that is really a nice guy at the same...hoping that he can win you over and have you forget about some of your standars. Not a chance in hell. He is a liar and you should not waist another second of effort on him. He had his chance and blew it and should be placed in the LOSERS bin.

Just my two Cents.


WoodyDiaryKepis 62M
99 posts
12/28/2005 9:54 am

Puuuhl..EEEZ, Tennis! Is there a shortage of "potential suitors" in your Inbox, that you were bored/desperate enough to waste your time with this dildo (I hope he's reading this!)?!

WWhat could have possibly attracted you so much that you disregarded ALL of the warning signs? Could you tell me so I can "bottle" it?

"Nature always favors the hidden fault. "- (Murphy's Third Law)

boomboom36 52M

12/28/2005 11:50 am

He's married

exit82sexyrub 56M
19 posts
12/28/2005 5:02 pm

either married or attached...either way, hiding his actions way too much.

Plano69 54M

12/28/2005 10:49 pm

Sounds like he's strumming on your "need to find the unattainable Mr. Big" strings...

rm_breathless91 57M

12/29/2005 8:22 am

Very simple - I agree with you friends, don't bother. If you have this many issues before a meeting, imagine what to expect later. He has issues with something - what? - we can speculate. What's more important, is why are you trying so hard with him? I'm sure your getting more than your fair share of replies, move on & have fun with someone. It sounds as if your trying to change him & make him meet you. From what I've read you have no history with him. I wrote this, then went on to read the others & decided to stop. I'm curious though on how you handled this or will do so. please reply

rm_sdmrem700 51M
47 posts
12/29/2005 4:45 pm

I believe as most of the responses here that this guy is married or at the very least attached...

mackjohnny69 59M

12/29/2005 8:07 pm

Let me put in my 2 cent. He must be married ( should have told you up front), Lives at home with his mother ( a mommies boy) , or you got scanned by a youngster.

ps; don't worry about your spelling , you get your point across.

OasisFungiAstir 65M
1 post
1/2/2006 5:03 pm

you should audition for desperate housewives - that's how you sound

Hoursofhardcock 67M
36 posts
1/7/2006 11:59 pm

Clear & simple Gorgeous,HE'S MARRIED!

vengeur 41M
836 posts
1/10/2006 5:36 am


Your potential suitor is either a man who has issues and a significant other, or a man with a guilty conscience and a spouse...wait...those two things are essentially the same thing...uh...uh...just forget about that guy, okay? You deserve better than this man, for certain, you sexy thing, you.

P.S. For the record, "bane of my exsistence" is the proper way to spell the phrase.

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