Missing the bloggy connection  

rm_tennismaiden 59F
2103 posts
4/29/2006 5:46 am

Last Read:
3/6/2008 6:58 am

Missing the bloggy connection

When you sit and stare at the screen wondering what your topic of blog should be...you've hit a snag. I miss the connections, the many souls who cross and intermingle here, but I've come to the point where every day is jam filled with focus towards my goal and I just don't have time to blog.

I awoke the other day with a terrible sore throat,this annoying reminder that I'm not as invincible as I would like to be. I'm vulnerable still after so many years to the elements that be. If all those appendages and tasks that pull at my sleeves could melt away I would be free to soar.

We often ask ourselves if the balance of ones life could be given to us. The struggles to get everyday as close to perfection as we can just seems to slither out of our grasp. It all comes down to choices, to rid ourselves of the many toxins clogging our pathways to freedom, success.....and love.

But why do we not shake these shackles before they grip us and cut off our blood supplies? Why do we always give them the benefit of the doubt hoping that each day will bring resolve without us having to take actions. Ahhhhh....conflict!

We loathe conflict and will do almost anything to deny it, look it square in the face and say "NO MORE"! We hang on to relationships that weigh us down, to careers that don't work, to homes that don't feel homey and evade every issue hoping they will dissolve themselves right before our eyes.

Now....not to worry, my lover, my career and most that is paramount to my life is working extremely well at present. I'm grateful beyond words that I'm finally at a place where my choices are sound and strong. But honestly...there are those around me who I'd like to grab by the shoulders and shake them to their very core.

"Look....Look....see your life, make the changes and only you have the power to do so"!

I ask you

What are you ignoring due to a fear of conflict resolution, what would you change to make your life easier and better for your future?Why are you so afraid of change?

libgemOH 56M/52F

4/29/2006 6:36 am

This is actually a similar debate that I had with my lover yesterday, that of making choices that will better your life. Those choices look good and you know your life will be better if you make them but they are HARD! Myself, I've been in college over 2 years at almost 42 years old and still have at least 3 more to go to get a bachelor's degree. Add work, family and home to that mix and we have major amounts of stress and wondering if there's an easier way.

Most people are looking for that easy way out. It took me YEARS to understand that the easy way doesn't exist for me and that I would have to work for it. Most do not get this realization and keep looking for that easy way out.

If I just tolerate this, if I can just get this or that, if I can just get here or there, it'll all be better. The biggest thing most people never quite come to understand is this.....

Whereever I go, there I am!! -B

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:29 pm:
It took me years and my divorce to realize that nothing is at it seems some days, one must step one step at a time and appreciate the ability to put one foot in front of the other.

I too will be doing school...I'm shaking in my boots wondering if I'll make it through.

You are a rare force of nature B...may you never falter and always stand victorious!

elysianpleasure 47M

4/29/2006 6:53 am

Dealing with my marriage... forcing her to get help with the ultimate ultimatum... risking changing my career our secruity to be a father more there... I am afraid of changing so many things... afraid I will loose it all.

Nice post... made me stare into the mirror that I try to avoid.

Best luck to you on your own journey... Elysian

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:32 pm:
That mirror can be a bitch on some days huh Elysian? Don't I know it!

Be brave and strong to your beliefs and your intuition...all will work out despite the many fears that get in your way.

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
4/29/2006 12:29 pm

Right now, as I told goddess1946 in her blog, there is a change about to commence in my life that will make things better for my lady & I.

I guess that people are afraid of change because it means pushing our safety zones, our boundaries.

NG61...leaving behind a red rose tied in black silk ribbon...as a token...

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:36 pm:
If all of us could comprehend breaking our comfort zones would commence such bliss everyone would be morphing at a rapid rate. The risks are worth taking in the long run....good luck to you in your impending journey. Hope it serves you and your lady well.

With great honor I receive your gift...TY

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
4/29/2006 7:33 pm

I always love when you have a new post! You are one of my favorite writers on here and I identify so much with what you say. My whole childhood was one big conflict due to my parents. Then I ended up in a marriage filled with conflict, especially after my children were born. For years I ignored it because I hated confrontation. I finally decided that's it, I need a divorce. I can't stand living in day to day conflict anymore. Being a single parent is difficult but I would not trade it for all the hell that went on here. So after years of bitching and being unhappy, I took a step. I know this will be better for my future. I feel a sense of peace that I have not felt in a very long time. This is an excellent post, as are all of yours.

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:41 pm:
Realthing I feel honored that you regard me so highly. My posts are only synapses of my life....when they coincide with everyone Else's...well now you have magic!

Peace is worth the suffering if in the end you find comfort. I too have found peace and look forward to holding on tight to it.

Thank you for the many compliments...TM

rm_anacortes 74M
2850 posts
4/29/2006 8:01 pm

What are you ignoring due to a fear of conflict resolution,


what would you change to make your life easier and better for your future?


Why are you so afraid of change?


rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:46 pm:
Ohhh Ana....YOU being cynical and accepting mediocrity? Say it isn't so!!!! And here I thought you were the master of keeping your life filled with wonderment and spirituality.

It only goes to show...we're all human and frail some days...but it sounds as if your mother will be hanging on with all her might. Could be those greenbacks she's hording that's giving her will to live forever!

Oh...get on your boat and enjoy the tranquility...we'll deal with the rest another day huh?


4/30/2006 11:35 am

Great post...
My answere would be a novel.. even though I'm happy.. Theres so much I want to do but I allow so much to hold me back... working on this one... ugggggggggggggg..
Glad you are happy

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:53 pm:
What are you waiting for my dear? Permission to find your bliss....hey girlfriend I know you got it in ya...just do it!

SpaceRangerNJ 55M
4687 posts
4/30/2006 7:58 pm

I hate conflict. Been trying to avoid it all my life. Never saw conflict and how to deal with it growing up.
I of course avoided my marital situation. I was scared about the conflict, the unknown of what I would do after. All the little details and hassle of ending it. I lacked the confidence in myself. Didn't want to face the prospect of being alone. Not believing in myself that I wouldn't be alone for the rest of my life.
I had become complacent. It is easy to just float along.
I'm still scared.
But moving forward.
Glad you're still doing well.
Feel better. Get rest.

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:55 pm:
You hit the nail on the head..."being alone" but until you've done this crucial task you can appreciate all the rest and the process of getting there.

I know you will find what you seek Space...I've always felt this deep within. You are a special man...NEVER forget that!

HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
5/1/2006 5:08 am

What a very true post TM. I have to agree with SR; I hate conflict too (probably why I'm in the situation I am in with my life). Always been a peacemaker/lover/friend (must be the Libra in me; or is that the fear of taking risks?). Keep telling myself "one day"; but I hope the days don't pass by so fast that the 'one day' is after I'm passed.

Hugs and thanks, C

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 12:58 pm:
Cor, I know how you struggle with this, never really wanting to address this pain and DO something about rendering a solution. Someday I hope you will, when you are ready and tired of being the peace keeper.

I wish the best for you...that of which you truly deserve! {=}

HBowt2 59F

5/1/2006 8:43 am

don't know if it would make my life easier....but conflict and change are difficult and the outcome isn't guarenteed....we all know deep inside what the right choice is....and avoid staring in the mirror....the fear of not doing something sometimes has to outweigh the fear of doing nothing...

rm_tennismaiden replies on 5/1/2006 1:02 pm:
Life holds no guarantees the risks we take are a crap shoot and sometimes they pay off and sometimes not, I hear you!

But what of that phrase "it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all" same concept no? Take the plunge and go for it!

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