Let's all Congratulate the Ex  

rm_tennismaiden 59F
2103 posts
6/26/2006 3:54 pm

Last Read:
6/30/2006 8:37 pm

Let's all Congratulate the Ex


It would seem I got the news today. My ex and his new wife of only a year are expecting a baby! He's 51 years old she 39 and well...he was such an outstanding father the first go round he thought he would try it again.

Not much to say here....I'm more concerned for my own children who have gotten the shaft for the last 6 years. My divorce was very nasty, he cheated, he lied, he defers income, didn't pay child support and he still thinks I'm the one with the issues. All this from a successful man that makes mega big bucks.

I predicted this years ago, and began preparing my boys for it's inevitability. Hey at least my ex is getting everything he's asked for, another life where he can work and never retire, a wife that will refuse to have sex with him once that child is born and his own sons who will most probably disconnect from him now. Was it all worth it I'd ask him? Most probably he'll never admit the biggest mistake of his life to me. Hell we don't even talk....geez after 25 years and this is what it comes to *shaking my head in disbelief*...what a shame.

It really is a so sad...some people never learn.....


rm_silly153 63M/59F
26 posts
6/26/2006 4:54 pm

OH JOY... Just tkink how much fun he will have at 65 with a 14 year old listning to the current rock music at full blast...AND...just imagine dealing with a 18 year old when you are nearly 70


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:56 am:
I suppose the only better would be if he had a girl and between her and his current wife they would drive him insane. Only right for all the years of suffering I've been through.

Payback is a bitch! Literally

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
6/26/2006 5:16 pm

Sounds like ex. I'm glad I never had children. I'm lucky that I had a good lawyer, and got everything up front. If I had to depend on him to do the right thing, I'd be in court every month.


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 8:01 am:
Yeah I've gotten to the point I could write my own motions to the court. That process sucks the life outta anyone and putting it behind is such a blessing and relief.

You can't believe what I spent on my divorce...argh...and this is after I didn't initiate it...yuck what a drag!

libgemOH 56M/52F

6/26/2006 5:58 pm

Your ex sounds much like mine. I really should have given him that Italian style divorce instead of the conventional one. I should a just killed him!!

My revenge....I was that younger spouse that had the kid with the older man. Our daughter is almost 12, he's 61 and can't figure out how to keep up with her!

*hugs* and I'll loan you my baseball bat if you want.... -B


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 8:06 am:
I would never think of anything violent for him as payback. "What goes around comes around" has always stuck in my craw. I think he's getting to feel just a little bit of that. Wait till I take him back to court and sock him with back child support and all the other issues that need to be resolved, he'll wish he never married me!

libgemOH 56M/52F

6/26/2006 8:57 pm

It may look like a shameless plug, but it actually doubles as an invite!! [post 403822] {=} -B


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:13 pm:
I will look at the first chance I get.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/26/2006 10:29 pm

Wow...it is interesting, isn't it?
Reminds me of the time(s) before we split, and my husband would say to me "you know, if we get divorced, I'm going to get married again and have another family"...
I'm thinking What The Fuck? Is that supposed to scare me? You think you're such an involved father now...and he's 48.
Some people will never learn. I'm sorry about your boys...I worry about mine, with their dad, in the future too.
Oh and yes, my future ex thinks I'm the one with the issues, always will...even years from now. I know that.


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:17 pm:
Realthing, this I know....to prevail given the odds of being under such scrutiny for so many years is not healthy for us. We tall ourselves "Ahhhhh but I expected this from him" smile a little smile, and life goes on without a beat.

I wish you nothing but love and bliss for your future, I know the road you traveled and from here on out it is full of wondrous and miraculous visions. Here's to our children may they find joy.....

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/26/2006 10:38 pm

TM,

Let it go...concentrate on your two sons, for they are the ones who will feel like they've been left in a lurch.

You have gotten so far past your ex that he should be just a distant echo of a memory.

Remember, Living well is the best revenge He has made his choice...let him deal with it. Don't let it drag you down...

Just my viewpoint....

NG61...slipping back into the darkness...


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:20 pm:
Only once in a blue moon do I ever let that man drag me down. All the years of therapy and hard work paid off...I'm free and nothing will get in the way of my happiness.

You can take THAT to the bank! I have riches beyond compare and I'm only just beginning...Yay!

don90402 59M

6/26/2006 11:39 pm

My daughter was born when I was 35 years old... and today I think that is too old for any man to have a child.. she will be 20 and I will be retired ... okay still working to pay for her college education ....
Mazel Tov to the expecting couple....


Tennis anyone...smile


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:22 pm:
Absolutely...Mazel Tov! May they have everything they wish for in life and then some....

HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
6/27/2006 4:32 am

Just hope he doesn't totally disconnect from your boys (unless they want that). Would be nice if he acted more like a father this time around than he sounds like he's been; but I'm sure he hasn't learned since it probably isn't his fault (in his mind only, of course).

Hugs, C


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:24 pm:
Gee Cor are you psychic?

Me too...I can see the future, they will divorce within 5 years but at the very least she will have her child and look for husband #4!

bet908 55M
6 posts
6/27/2006 8:24 am

I disagree with the age thing about having kids. I think kids are a treasure at any age. Also feel that anyone has the right to start a new life and a new family. However, it might be better to get his act together with his existing family before taking on a new one.

It never ceases to amaze me how people put priorities on material things like money. Kids are priceless. Parenting isn't just a responibility, it's an honor. Pay the child support! Most important, be an active father!! Adults fight, adults can be assholes in general, but don't take it out on the kids.

Why is it always the one that wanted the divorce that turns out to be the most bitter after it's done. I don't get it, you would think they'd be happy. Instead they're miserable everyday. Life does have it's rewards!

Lawyer: $15,000. Settlement: $47,000. Her being miserable everyday with her decisions: Priceless

I'm done rambling now


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:29 pm:
...and I was enjoying your rambling...really I like the way you think. Children are a gift and all too often are not cradled with the love they deserve. I've tried single handedly but with boys it's not enough...they must have a "Good" role model, a real father.

Hey another virgin comment poster, Oooo I feel so special, please come again and your opinions anytime, I feel honored.

free2chose2 66F

6/27/2006 9:46 am

TM, his vanity will be hit hard when a preschooler/kindergartener asks this child "Is that your Grandpa?"

Slipping off to bed now

Don't worry, be Happy


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:32 pm:
His vanity is so extreme he'll continue dying his hair so no grey will show his age. It's too bad he's such a handsome man salt/pepper and all. It's just his heart that doesn't function properly.

QueenCaribbean 39F
12 posts
6/27/2006 11:52 am

My American sister...life isn't fair..but a 51 year old man with money can have a second famiy. Thousand of older men remarry younger women. The women do all the running the "Older" men can't do.

Look at Bing Crosby...he was horrible to his first family, but the children of his second family thought he walked on water.

You have your health, friends and children who love you. You have great memories from happier times. I know it is hard to do but sister..."Let it go"..... cause he has!!


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 7:36 pm:
I don't hold on to it (the anger/bitterness) emotions that are waisted on such clueless people. I would rather direct positive energy into making my life a success. And that's what I do!

At least I try....

DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
6/30/2006 8:11 pm

Obviously I don't know the whole story, just your side of it, so I can't really agree or disagree with what you've written.

I'm sure if I asked him, he'd tell me a story far different than yours.

Rest assured, when a couple divorces there is no innocent party. It definitely takes two.

I do think it's a shame you don't talk to each other after twenty five years of marriage, but there are reasons for that.

Deepseated reasons.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


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