A blissfull weekend symbolic resurection...could it be love?  

rm_tennismaiden 59F
2103 posts
4/17/2006 10:17 am

Last Read:
3/6/2008 6:57 am

A blissfull weekend symbolic resurection...could it be love?


I awoke Saturday morning feeling unsteady I'm not sure why this was so...but it was. Jittery and unsure of myself I went through some "what ifs" and unsettled emotions. One minute I was all smiles and the next doubt and gloom. I was trying like crazy to stay focused and go about my day with a positive attitude finally packing a bag for the gym to swim.

Tuesdays/Thursdays/Saturdays I swim a mile each time plopping into water with a temperature of about 82% it's a bit chilly for me but many of the other lap swimmers prefer it cooler. At that temperature I must get a quick start to pump warm blood through my veins, I haul the first 6 sets of laps alternating between freestyle back-stoke and breast stroke.

This form of exercise is more than just cardio, it's mental meditation, breathing and very rhythmic. Counting as each limb does it's own separate job, I count the lap with each breath I pull in and while exhaling look for my stripped mark on the pool floor to keep me straight and forward. I do my best thinking in that pool, when I'm content (my life) the strokes are less challenging and more relaxed. When I'm fueling anger or hostility I glide through pounding and spewing water like Mark Spitz going for another "gold".

Finally getting into the shower later that day I get the call....."HI" he says...and I stop holding my breath. The conversation begins with just a few words and I know instantly if we are having a good or bad day, if I will see him or not. By this time I had turned the stream of water off, the soap that had been lathered all over my skin was sliding and finally puddling at my feet. I felt relieved and knew I would be in his bed that night.

Don't ask me why at the age of 49 I have learned to let go on this one. I don't press or demand, I don't elude to visions of grandeur for the future, I just wait. For each kiss, sweet smile and piston ejaculation that's released inside my warm moist vaginal walls. Most of the time I'm in shock, never expecting that a man such as he would make compromises for anyone...let alone me.

He's not a very emotional guy, the torn past and hurts are neatly designated to a place I've yet to discover. Oh...I know they're there....by his touch, the affectionate warm and gentle man he is has some old wounds that dissipate every time he reaches for me or land a deliberate kiss on my face. I almost never get a full nights sleep when I'm beside him. Through out the hours our hands and feet desperately seek one another, an affirmation that warm bodies entwine, hearts are softened purposely accepting something so mysterious and unexplainable. Neither of us verbalizes our thoughts and emotions, too afraid of jinxing this deeply rare and unexpected bliss.

Easter was especially calm, I accompanied him to his long time friends home for supper. Graciously taken in I wanted to pinch myself again and again...I've wormed my way in and God willing I want to stay, beside him, loving him, and proving there are such people destined to meet for reasons beyond our control.

Upon returning to his home...my sanctuary, I find solace and comfort there. Winding down with a few old episodes of the "Sopranos" we climbed into bed, he with a book and me snuggled so closely a pry bar couldn't get us apart. I found this moment to be....a 10...on that scale of OMG this is happening to me...with him. Being torn by wanting to make love yet knowing this comfort, this moment was making love without an orgasm. It was as deeply sensual and intimate as when we are joined in fornication. The many times I wanted to whisper so many thoughts but withheld them. The time span was perfect,each fingertip traveled over seeking the others, an arm that would squeeze around my middle or lips that took themselves away from the paperback being read just long enough to land on my smooth and feminine forehead.

Sometimes I wonder when the shoe will plummet from the sky, this can't be happening to me! Surely the shoe is a big old nasty metal toe work-boot careening it's way through the clouds and smacking me upside the head with a welt big enough to insert another eyeball. I didn't see this coming, any of it....I'm falling and flustered and so damn happy.... I could die.

Here it is I write, he'll be by to glance over the latest post as he always does. For some strange reason my writing is magnetic for him. I'm really not that smart but it gives him a thrill to witness the latest entry (mostly because the vast majority of them are about him)! He gets to absorb my feelings without being blasted or caught off guard when we're in one another's company using verbal exchange. Here he can sit,ponder, laugh and even blush over what his little Tennismaiden reveals for all to read.

He might make a comment or two...say thank you for the gift I've given him but in the end his body language, puppy dog eyes and tender loving gestures are all I need to know....

I am his.


HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
4/17/2006 1:13 pm

Hmmmmm....
I wouldn't be worrying very much about the shoe falling TM...
Just enjoy the time you are having and sharing. The now is the important thing. It's always nice to dream of tomorrow, or next year, or the rest of your life. But until you live it, it's always a dream. And it sounds like your moments, even if not daily or as frequently as you may like, are very special indeed


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/18/2006 9:27 am:
Chris,
The words you write are true it is the here and now that we must savor and appreciate. Even 6 months down the road can be very different from what we've imagined. For now I'm doing my life very content and happy to have "him" by my side. Thank you!

MyRealLoverOne 46M

4/17/2006 9:18 pm

Smiles....I am happy for you both and please tell him I am still picking out just the right equipment for him......wink


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/18/2006 9:51 am:
Hey Bri...we're testing that web cam and seeing if it will do the trick. But since you're coming back to the states, maybe joining us might be more fun! Ohhh Ooooo Ahhhhh.....now wouldn't that be better than any silly ole miners hat?

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
4/17/2006 9:55 pm

What a beautiful post. And you are a wonderful writer...this post brought a lot of emotion. It sounds wonderful, you deserve it, you both do...it is never too late in life to find the thing you've been searching for all along. You are a special woman and he knows it. All the best for you always!!


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/18/2006 9:55 am:
Realthing, When "he" read this post the first reaction was "they don't want to read about LOVE....they want smut and erotica". You've just proved there are some out there wanting to still believe in fairy tale endings like me!

NO...it IS NEVER too late...thank you!

rm_Keystone3812 65M
583 posts
4/18/2006 2:53 am

What a lucky man he is. I hope he knows it and appreciates you, Tennis.


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/18/2006 10:10 am:
I think he does Key...even on the worst days he knows I'm beside him, and when we get beyond all the "unknown" we might just have something here to hold onto. Ya never know...it could happen!

HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
4/18/2006 10:30 am

You're welcome, as always


SacredStarDance

4/18/2006 2:14 pm

So very happy for you... and yes we want to hear it all..everything... the sex.. erotica.. and Love to... I hope he knows your a special woman.. I'm sure he does..

Huggsssssssssssssssssss

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/19/2006 3:58 pm:
I think he does...more and more. Thanks MRSMUFF Isn't it funny how one can go from hurtful confused to loving confused? I take the latter please!

sepr002 51M  
24 posts
4/18/2006 4:20 pm

You both are very lucky people, Look at how you feel, the good feeling you have will last a life time,keep that in your heart and you will always have a smile on your face. We cant guarantee each day. someone came into your live that is special,and you smile ..Life is Good


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/19/2006 4:01 pm:
I hope my smile is even more radiant these days, I've sure got reason to be sporting a grin, it's all I can do to stop the muscles from hurting so much...but that is a GOOD thing!

Welcome to my blog sepr002...nice to meet you!

SpaceRangerNJ 55M
4687 posts
4/19/2006 8:23 pm

So very nice. What a wonderful feeling. I am so happy for you.
Such a nice relationship.
Such wonderful feelings.
Hoping that the other shoe does not drop.

I know what you mean about exercise being a mental place. I often disappear into my mind whilst on the exercise bike or doing some other repetitive type exercise.
SR


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/24/2006 6:46 pm:
My dear Space,

There was a time when bad luck was the only luck I had, so often we all believe there is a black cloud dangling over our heads until one day the sun shines. You day will come too and hopefully you'll be writing as I am today.

Thank you for your kind words and wishes...TM

rm_art_persists 52M
1789 posts
4/21/2006 6:42 pm

enjoy the good times and don't set yourself up for bad


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/24/2006 6:47 pm:
Being one step ahead of the bad is what I try to do...man some days it's a doozy but in the end what a payoff!

Thanks Art!

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
4/24/2006 10:53 am

What a fabulous post! I'm very happy for you both.


rm_tennismaiden replies on 4/24/2006 6:52 pm:
Thank you aas....I hear things are sticky down there in Georgia these days...hey you need some Tennismaiden skill to help sort out the confusion? I'll gladly assist for a cold strong cosmo and soft place to lay.

MarinadelMar 59F

4/28/2006 1:11 pm

*hugs*

I'm simply SO happy for you, TM

I had a feeling this would happen sooner or later ....


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