Why Native Americans Are Better Lovers Than White Eyes  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/11/2005 6:50 am
Why Native Americans Are Better Lovers Than White Eyes


One look at me and you'll quickly realize I have a rich Native American heritage. Well, you'll think that, or a rich heritage of hydrocephalics. But it really is the former. Therefore, I am in a position to explain how my forefathers contributed to the sexual revolution in this country.

Oddly enough, it wasn't the major tribes at all that did the contributing. Rather, the smaller splinter groups that lead the way to fashion modern attitudes in sex.

Many of you are already familiar with my people, The Fagowie Tribe. We got our name due to a poor sense of direction. We were known to stand on a rock, look around, and ask, "Where the Fagowie?". My people were, well...not really good in bed. Prostitution is said to have originated with my people. My great great grandfather, Chief Limp Reed, founded what is now known as ASSI (American School for the Sexually Inaccurate). This prestigious Institute has lead the way in sexual targeting devices research and has coined such phrases as, "...put hair around it", and "...just think of your secretary".

I recently learned that my friend of 25 years, Ben, is also of Native American heritage. Ben used to be a negro. He says that he isn't quite sure what he is now. Either African-American, Black-American, or just plain Black. Nobody has notified him yet. His people were from the Dakotas and were known by their unusually long loin cloths. Yes, he's a Blackfoot&ahalf.

His great great great grandfather, Chief Long of Shaft, introduced the first crotchless moccasin and was known to carry a tomtom on his shoulder.

Most people are aware that Native Americans helped Lewis & Clark along their way. However, very few people realize that a small tribe tended to the sexual needs of these men. The males in this tribe were identified by their large headress, worn to the side, leopard print saddles, and curb feelers on their horses. These were the Slapaho men. They made sure that the expiditioners were happy campers.

The women in the tribe, identified by the fact the were found at the intersection of busy streams and wore fishnet moccasins, soon became disenchanted with their treatment and split off from the original tribe. They were known as the Nabaho Tribe. They later immigrated to the Isle of Lesbos and bought up all the crotchless moccasins.

Disheartened, what was left of the tribe relocated to the San Francisco area, founded a YMCA, and renamed themselves the Homoho Tribe. Several were musicians.

Another significant group single handedly founded the tradition of females shaving their private parts to make them more attractive. These were the Trimmedpatchee Tribe. The men wore a mohawk...so did the women.

Many other tribes lent a hand in shaping our sexual attitudes. Chief Golden Pond of the Cheerawee Tribe founded water sports for example. Our heritage is rich and diverse. I suggest you do some research of your own.

[blog talldarkavg1]


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

7/11/2005 8:45 am

You kill me! hahaha


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
7/11/2005 9:22 am

...and I thought one of my posts was politically incorrect! This is too funny. LOL.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/11/2005 11:13 am

As my grandfather–Tom E. Hawk–would say..."Hmm, thanks." If I can laugh at my family why can't everyone else?

[blog talldarkavg1]


DirtyLilSecret61 55F

7/11/2005 11:42 am

Wow - Mark Lindsay shoulda done a song about your forefathers. (if you have this much time on your hands you need to learn how to keep the crabs outta your computer - email me and I'll tell you how. AdultFriendFinder blocked my reply to you).

"Lil"


rm_reisaree 42F
611 posts
7/11/2005 8:59 pm

Tom E Hawk... very good, Mister! Ummm... uncertain of protocal around here I am just gonna go out on a limb here and ask if maybe you could check my last one and possibly do a bit of translating for me? Seems I have a foreigner from houston speaking some sorta blog tongue.. No idea what they are talking bout! Thanks Mister.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/11/2005 9:54 pm

Mental note to self ... in the future when reading TDA1's blogs make sure to swallow the water first. Gettin' real tired of cleaning the spew off my monitor.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


sexyeyes375 47F

7/11/2005 10:05 pm

...how is it you are single???


sexyeyes375 47F

7/11/2005 10:07 pm

you are funny.. you can take a punch... lol


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
7/12/2005 12:12 am

TallDarknHandsome, again you put many smiles on my face. Thank you.

DustStormDiva


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:43 am

P N Sex thank you. I'm here all week.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:44 am

Thank you for the help Lil. Lord knows I need all I can get!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:45 am

Consider it done Your Majesty. Tongue is my specialty.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:47 am

Daphne...thanks. LOL, I have done the exact same thing reading blogs. At least you're lady like with the spewage. I'm downright obnoxious.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:51 am

Sexy there is an easy explanation why I'm single...women have good taste.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:51 am

Thanks sexy. Been taking them for a spell.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 5:52 am

My pleasure Diva...even though I'm not certain whom you are addressing.

[blog talldarkavg1]


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/12/2005 6:26 am

thanks for making me laugh


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
7/12/2005 6:31 am

brightened my morning, as usual.

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


redmustang91 57M  
8661 posts
7/12/2005 7:58 am

If Native Americans are such great lovers how come there are so few of them around? Other groups have been killed off but seem to reproduce much more successfully. Still very funny. Since women claim to like a good sense of humor, I hope you are getting laid frequently. Are you?


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 8:04 am

Papy...my pleasure.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 8:05 am

Yagotta, love to see a smile.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/12/2005 8:08 am

Mustang...our numbers are huge! Just as we hid our numbers by walking the ponies in a line, we hide our population by standing in single file. When you think you are seeing one of us...there are another 33 behind him. By the way, welcome to the casino and be sure to tip your waitress.

You are right. My sex life is incredible. I have sex sometimes 5 or 6 times a day. If I can figure out a way to include a woman in my sex life it would be even better!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 9:14 am

Huny, my Native name happens to be Dances With Beavers!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 9:14 am

Me too.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/15/2005 5:26 am

Huny...this isn't a werewolf thing is it? EEEk...they bite. And really hard too.

[blog talldarkavg1]


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