Things You Probably Should NOT Do In A Bar  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/26/2005 10:44 am
Things You Probably Should NOT Do In A Bar


To those of you who stop in here regularly, this will probably come as a shock. I have spent some of my life as a bit of a non-conformist. I know, right now you're saying, "Dude...no way!". It's true. I really have. I can share at least a jillion things with you that you should never do in life. So I figured, as a public service, I would share a bit of saloon etiquette that I have learned. Mostly, the hard way.

First off, if you're ever in a bar that has a lovely minimally clad cutie dancing on the bar picking up quarters with her cooter off your longneck beer bottle, and you DO NOT want to get thrown out...DO NOT do this. And we're not talking invited to leave in a few minutes here kids...we're talking ejected on the spot.

I was in such an establishment a few years back. I watched her start at the far end of the bar and sure enough, one by one, she gripped each quarter and nabbed it. Pretty amazing to say the least. Of course, my brain wondered what would happen if you put a quarter on your beer bottle and then applied a lighter. There was this really cool THSSSSST sound and the next thing I knew I was outta there.

Another bit of FYI...apparently there is a big difference in many bars between falling asleep with your head on the bar and falling asleep with your body on the bar.

Got anything that may help out others??

[blog talldarkavg1]


expatbrit49 62M

7/26/2005 1:33 pm

LOL I have another tip, when entering an Irish bar dont put on your best British accent and say loudly what a bunch of f##&*ng Micks.

This also gets you asked to leave and If I remember it hurt for a long while.

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/26/2005 1:46 pm

LMAO Expat. What a visual!!

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CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
7/26/2005 2:28 pm

When theres a football game on the tube, dont go over and change it to the cartoon channel, there seems to be quite a few that don't like this.

-CuteAZguy27


five_speed 41M

7/26/2005 2:56 pm

In Thailand, if a guy walks up to you, smacks his fist into his other palm, points at you and says "me, you, Boom! Boom! GI!" he's not asking you to fight him. He teling you he wants to fuck you....

On the plus side, Thai guys are usually pretty small, so it's not to hard to whup a couple at a time, and the economies are so different, you can rebulid an entire bar with only two months of confiscated pay...


mehappy4u21 53F

7/26/2005 3:51 pm

If you're a female, it's late and you've had one too many... There's a few drinks you shouldn't order by yourself... Here's an example...

I went up to the counter, already half snockered and the bartender asked, "What would you like?" With big smile and slurred speech I answered him, "I would like a Screw Slow"

He then moved across the bar, got very close to my face and with big smile right back at me, happily replied, "OK, Baby Right Now, Let's go in the back and I'll give ya nice Screw Slow"...

The whole bar caught that one, my friends busted up and the joke was on me... Apparently, the real name of the drink was a "Slow Screw"... Needless to say, I got propositioned by anything with 2 legs and a kickstand for the rest of the evening...


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/26/2005 7:49 pm

how sad that women will do things like that


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

7/26/2005 8:11 pm

So, YOU are the wise guy that ruined my career? I thought you looked familiar!

I still have a scar, thanks to you!

]


crankyourwagon 45M

7/26/2005 10:02 pm

Have you ever seen one of those girls pick up a bunch of quarters and then walk around the bar asking how much change do you want. Someone said 75 cents she chucks out three quarters. I said 25 cents. She pops out 2 dimes and a nickle. Unbelievable!

It also reminds me of the time when me and my two buddies went to the strip club and we all sat right at the stage. The hot young lady on stage goes up to my first bud does an impressive little dance gets right in his face and he very appreciatively slips a ten dollar bill in her g-string. That just made her real excited and she came over to my second bud and did an even nastier dance. It was so good he went scurrying into his wallet, pulls out a twenty and sticks it into her g-string. That just sent her over the top. She crawled her way over to me. Then she proceeded to do the best, most provacative dancing I have ever witnessed, stopping right in front of me, bent over, ass facing me, and then slapping it. I grabbed my wallet opened it and saw it was empty. Thinking quickly I grabbed my ATM card and swiped it down the crack of her ass with one hand while grabbing all the cash in her g-string with my other hand. Then I bought drinks for the whole group.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:27 am

Az...come on...are we talking SpongeBob? I like him too.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:28 am

Thanks 5 speed. This sure puts my gardener in a whole different light!! Explains why he's been tailing me too.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:43 am

*Note to self...plenty of tequilla for Huny.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:44 am

LMAO MeHappy...2 legs and a kickstand? LMAO

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:45 am

Jay, truly it is. Even sadder that guys dollars inspire such behavior.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:45 am

F&F let's not get the lawyers involved...we can work this out!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:46 am

LMAO Crank...well worth the wait!!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 7:06 am

Geez honni, those whacky Bohemians! You'd think he would have known the cap was a twist off!

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rm_CookieLips2 61M

7/27/2005 10:46 am

I was once asked by a great looking woman sitting next to me at the local watering hole what the name of the cologne was that I was wearing. Me trying to be funny blurted out "It's called come to me, does it smell like cum to you"? Needless to say, that ended the conversation for the evening!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:05 pm

LMAO Cookie. I just learned another way to get slapped!

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