The Reason Men Will Never Have Their Very Own Vagina  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/20/2005 1:20 pm
The Reason Men Will Never Have Their Very Own Vagina


We have yakked about this a bit before, but after reading many of the male posts in here, I think it's time we look at the dating issue from a different point of view.

Guys let's face it, vagina's are a great invention. I cannot imagine how difficult things were before it was invented. I think fossil remains suggested that in the pre-vagina era men were forced to bang two rocks against the penis. This caused some inflamation and eventually resulted in semen production to those who survived. The semen was then transferred from the rock to the target female's abdomen where it eventually soaked in.

Nature is wonderous. Noticing that the male population was rapidly dwindling...along came the vagina. Actually, I think it was one of Madonna's ancestors that had the very first one. But anyway, it caught on big-time.

Men were NOT given the vagina for very obvious reasons. We're irresponsible! 2 very important reasons lead to the female becoming the recipient of this new toy.

Reason 1
Men spend as much time as possible slapping the chipmonk as it is. Imagine if we were multi-orgasmic? It would be non-stop. Every male would have to be hooked up to an IV just to survive the night. Dehydration would run rampant. Crossed eyes would run rampant. And the language would change to a series of Ahoooahwooah sounds with a few gurgles. Which means, "New IV please".

If we had a vagina...NO MAN WOULD EVER LEAVE HOME! Why would he? Something out there is more important than your vagina? I think not. The entire world's workload would be dropped on the women the instant our vaginas were installed.

Reason 2
No male would ever go through childbirth! Mankind would vanish from the earth. Unless...Richard Simmons was kept for breeding stock. Then the earth would be topless amazon women warriors in skimpy loin cloths. But there wouldn't be anyone around to make movies about them.

[blog talldarkavg1]


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/20/2005 2:27 pm

hahahaha you get worse


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 2:48 pm

I've been sick. Well, most of my life I guess.

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expatbrit49 62M

7/20/2005 3:07 pm

hey I dont need a vagina Id be happy if I could suck my cock lol

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


DirtyLilSecret61 55F

7/20/2005 3:55 pm

tda .... "slapping the chipmonk" ????

I'll never be able to watch another Chip and Dale cartoon now without having sick and twisted thoughts.

Yeah and having children ... ah yes, completes me as a woman. I quit after two, as they are my proof to society that I do, in fact, breed well in captivity.

expat .... if you ever find the time to suck your own cock, please video tape it and share it with all of us here. Pretty please?

"Lil"


mehappy4u21 53F

7/20/2005 4:03 pm

Ok, so if men could suck they're own cocks, have multi-orgasms and never wanted to leave home, because of it... Does that mean they have Vagina Envy??


mehappy4u21 53F

7/20/2005 4:04 pm

Ok, so if men could suck they're own cocks, have multi-orgasms and never wanted to leave home, because of it... Does that mean men have Vagina Envy??


starlight_runner 39F

7/20/2005 4:31 pm

How about reasons why they wont get there hands on one.Starting with they dont wash them enough.

Kisses Star


five_speed 41M

7/20/2005 6:06 pm

I tried that self sucking thing once, but I kept rolling off the couch backwards. I finally hit my head on the corner table and knocked myself out. I had a hell of a time explaining to my parents why I was laying unconscious on my back with my pants off. I think dad knew. I could see it in his eyes.


ExploreMore4Me 59F

7/20/2005 6:35 pm

TDA..that's it...I'm NEVER reading another blog entry of yours again! I cannot take this eruptive laughter! My face is permannently distorted now, thank you! I can't even think of a good comment to make on this one. But I gotta agree with Lil..."Slappin' The Chipmunk"?...PIMP...

You & P&S have way too much idle times on your hands! Hysterical!

Kisses!
EM4M


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/20/2005 8:05 pm

Is "Slappin' the Chipmunk" same as "spanking the monkey" only for guys with smaller ones?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


crankyourwagon 45M

7/20/2005 8:22 pm

Me I'm just a smart ass, but, Dude you are one funny guy. Banging your penis with two rocks. How did that even enter your mind?


JezJem 48F

7/20/2005 9:02 pm

Now that's, without a doubt, the funniest thing I've read at this site! Nice to see some humor for a change.
Reason #1 had me in hysterics! You make some very valid points.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:34 am

Expat...that visual will be the cause of many dollars spent in therapy for me.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:35 am

LMAO breeding well in captivity Lil. And there is a distinct difference between slapping the chipmonk and spanking the chipmonk. HeHeHe...bet Oprah never told ya'll about that one did she?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:37 am

LMAO Mehappy...I have had vagina envy for years. Actually, I am looking into having a Vagina Altar build in my living room as we speak.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:38 am

Mehappy...dude...I'm thinking Expat's comment worked on you dear. Your finger is vibrating.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:40 am

Starlight you bring up a good point. Guys are told to wash their hands after going to the toilet. Why doesn't someone tell us to just wash our dick and the hand thing will clear up?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:40 am

LMAO 5 speed. A second visual I could have done without.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:42 am

EM4M I cannot speak for another...but I obviously have way too much time on my hands. Hmm...if I only had a vagina.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:50 am

Daphne you're thinking of tweeking the chipmonk. This is a rarely seen technique involving a surgical mask, tin foil, a magnifying glass, and tweezers. I may cover it in an upcoming blog.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:52 am

Thanks Crank and welcome. Many people here wonder why I think as I do. Near as I can figure, I got a bad mushroom back in the 60's.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:53 am

Jem thank you and welcome. Glad I was able to lighten your day!

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CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
7/21/2005 8:48 am

*Scratches chin* "Now lets explore this reason #2"

Why does Richard Simmons get all the fun ? And Who is the Lifestock breeder (Richard Simmons) goat keeper guy with the cane ? Is it you TDA ? It better not be Mr. Michael Jackson.....that would be very scary *Shivers of the thought*

-CuteAZguy27


pussinboots4u 49M/47F

7/21/2005 9:05 am

LMAO as usual!! And, you know, whenever I come to your blog, I feel like I'm looking at a video strip.


CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
7/21/2005 9:23 am

I barge in the room panting very hard, i lean against the blog door holding a Rocket popsickle "Sorry i got this from expatbrit49's room -Suck on This-" I looks over my shoulder hearing footsteps aproaching, and dive behind the couch where all the lovely ladies are sitting.

-CuteAZguy27


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 10:53 am

Az he's the harmless one. Women already sweat to him, why not?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 10:54 am

PIB4U...thanks...can't beat a pick me up...with info.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 10:55 am

Az the advanced scouts told us

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rm_CookieLips2 61M

7/21/2005 11:31 am

Banging the 2 rocks together? You sure they weren't trying to start a fire?


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 12:55 pm

Definately not. The penis was rubbed against wood chips to start a fire...as well as impress your neighbor.

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rm_reisaree 42F
611 posts
7/21/2005 7:25 pm

Mister... The Penis IS The Wood!!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/22/2005 5:14 am

Evolution is a wonderous thing Your Majesty.

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