The Latest News ... TallCo Going Public ... New Inventions  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
15586 posts
9/9/2005 10:14 am
The Latest News ... TallCo Going Public ... New Inventions

Back on June 23, 2005 I wrote to you about the latest TallCo inventions. Reference Inventions You CAN NOT Live Without if you missed it. I mentioned pine-scented helium breat implants, self-propelled suppositories, and other much needed items.

Right after this post, well TallCo® stock skyrocketed. It is time to not only let the company go public...but to announce this fall's lineup of NEW INVENTIONS! Here we go, our Top 20 Inventions for This Fall.

1. Voice boxes with an accent. This way Steven Hawking and others can fool their friends when answering the phone. Or pass themselves off as European. Long overdue if you ask me.

2. A remote controlled remote control finder. This will be in every male's wish list this Holiday Season!

3. The alcohol patch. Trying to quit drinking? Here's your answer. Maybe you just need a quick buzz to get you through a lengthy DUI hearing...we've got you covered.

4. Talking car horn. Beep beep just doesn't work anymore. Let's talk specific shall we? Our model is programmed with the following phrases from the factory in a human voice: "Hey Baby" "Learn to drive asswipe!" "Excuse me dickhead!" "Look out!" "Help me!" "The light changed already" "Stay the hell off my bumper" "Get a horse" "Cop ahead" "Honey I'm home"

5.Urinal auto-shaker. Talk about hands-free operation! Available in 2 models...female and male hand shakers.

6. Large print alphabet soup. Great for old folks like me. Hey...we need to spell stuff out too!

7. Solar powered flashlight. I know, you think this sounds stupid. Well Bucko...combine this handy item with our glow in the dark sunglasses and you'll never buy batteries again! One recharges the other. And you thought this was stupid.

8. Cat wax. Just something about a kitty that says wax me.

9. Flavored pencils and pen caps. If you're gonna chew...get some fulfillment!

10. Spring-loaded toilet seat. This one will go like hot cakes. The seat stays in the down position until you pee on it. Then whammo...it pops up. She'll never complain again because when you're done...it returns to the down position. Available with the optional Urine Gutter.

11. Battery powered battery charger. Need to recharge batteries but the storm took out the power? No worries ever again!

12. Curved baseboard heaters. Ever wonder how to install baseboard heat in your igloo? We have!

13. Decafinated coffee table. Available in round and oval. No self-respecting yuppie should be without this pup!

14. Handbag made from foreskin. Now, talk about fashionable! The kicker...if you stroke the purse...it turns into a suitcase! Hawaii here I cum.

15. Alcohol flavored medicine alcohol. We all know loads of medicines have alcohol in them. Time to enhance the experience we say. Peppermint Schapps flavored Pepto Bismol. Malt liquor flavored mouth wash. The list goes onm and on people.

16. Vibrating ketchup bottles. Never shake that sucker again. Done for you. Buy 2 and we throw in a FREE pint of ketchup thinner.

17. Fake rhinestones. That's right...on a tight budget but have champaigne taste? TallCO® has you covered.

18. Dehydrated water. Stuck on the road and thirsty? Just add water and vioala...you have water!

19. Our NEW education series books...Learn To Read. Yes sir! All the tools and tricks the pro's use are revealed in this 300 page book geared at getting you reading in no time.

20. Black highliters. Need to highlite something you really don't care about? Here's your solution partner.


[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
9/9/2005 10:56 am

14. Handbag made from foreskin <<it will never work. I live in Iowa, when its cold out all i'll have is a wallet.


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
9/9/2005 11:08 am

I'm putting in an order fr anassortment of #9... heehee

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/9/2005 11:40 am

I was in the focus group last month - I've been using the black highlighters a bit while working on my blog...but how do I get the marks off my monitor?


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
9/9/2005 11:44 am

First I have to wipe the coffee from my computer screen (second spit take this week, due to this website). I think #6 was the culprit. Okay then - I see a GREAT spin off potential in #2.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


sweetest_sin_05 37M/37F

9/9/2005 11:44 am

I want #14... the foreskin handbag! I want the pocketbook that grows!


dano6332 56M

9/9/2005 11:48 am

Can we place orders directly here if we send you our credit card numbers?


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
9/9/2005 12:54 pm

sweetist_sin - yeah, I want him to invent that one and actually GET ON that plane to Hawaii!

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Claudette33 106M/106F

9/9/2005 2:28 pm

I like #8, will you wax my kitty for me? But, seriously, I think you've got some great ideas here!

Claudette


digdug41 49M

9/9/2005 3:09 pm

whatever it is you do for a living you missed your calling tall those are great you are one funny bastard!

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/9/2005 3:11 pm

I need 3 of the # 4's please.

Do those foreskin handbags come in specific sizes and shapes?


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

9/9/2005 9:50 pm

TDA- Sounds like TallCo is really booming these days!! No wonder, the CEO is a genius!

I could really use #4! It would make it so much easier to get my point across in traffic! lol

You never cease to amaze me! Great stuff, my friend!

]


frbnkslady 48F
6183 posts
9/9/2005 11:33 pm

LMAOOOO... Hey we can now build our igloos up here in any shape and size, NOWWW they come out with a bendable heater... WTH>???
Foreskin purse, I love that idea...no more zippers or snaps, just pull it up and over, cowl-necked..
Vibrating ketchup bottle..UM NOoooo, just gets my mind going really down, something to do with that time of the month.. doesn't work..
But, I also love the talking bumper sticker, I have a new one " I only drive this way to piss you off!!"
And now like 1hot, I have to clean my screen from reading you.. about the 200th time.. dammit, thing should sparkle !!! T

T




sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/9/2005 11:34 pm

I have a question reguarding #2...

What do they do when they lose the remote for the remote finder??? If you have lost both, I guess you're really screwed..


rm_Balanon2 49M
193 posts
9/10/2005 4:55 pm

I have a new invention that I'd like TallCo® to distribute for me until I get my infastructure built up. Monitor wipers! No longer will you have stop reading a blog because you've spit coffee on the screen. These wipers come in all the common monitor sizes and have variable speed settings. The upcoming advanced model monitors your webpages and adjusts speed automatically! (Optional coffee gutter extra.)


omesohony 48M/40F

9/11/2005 7:30 am

man-o-man! hahahaha....tall u one helluv a guy! you really have one heck of a funny bone! this is only the second post of yours i started to read and already having a blast!


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