Random Thoughts and Views From an Off-Center Mind  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/16/2005 9:43 am
Random Thoughts and Views From an Off-Center Mind


I hope your weekend is going well. Last night I bought a DVD and figured I'd settle in and preview this one to see if my girls might want to see it next weekend. What a tear-jerker! Not that the movie was sad...but when I remembered I paid 19 bucks for this P.O.S. the tears streamed. J-Lo...dude...you know a good hairdresser makes a lot of money. Maybe pick up a couple courses down at the community college or something.

This morning something occured to me and I want to address it. Mother Nature, when you read this...think it over. Why do you make us store fat in the Love handle region? Who the hell can see it building up back there? When it finally spreads around front it's too late! Mom, try this on for size.

You know the uvula...the little punching bag looking thingy hanging in the back of the throat? Why not store fat there first? Think about it. If we stored fat there first...it would enlarge...get so big we couldn't swallow any more food...and we'd lose weight! NO BRAINER! Self-administered diets.

Or if the thingy doesn't work for you...why not store fat in our eyelids first? Trust me...I can't eat what I can't find! Just a little something for you to mull over. Oh yea, please stop hitting me with lightning.

Ever get a tune caught in your head and you can't shake it? I do that often. Except my thinking is probably a bit different than your's. There's a shocker. Today I keep hearing Helen Reddy doing "I am woman hear me roar". Except my version substitutes the words woman with penis and numbers with inches. Catchier my way.

I do Louie Louie too. I just make up any lyrics and toss them in. Being sure to leave the Louie Louie part though. Amazing how impressed people are that you know the lyrics.

Ever ride an elevator? Here's a little something that makes the trip a whole bunch more fun. When the door opens and someone gets in...shake their hand, welcome them, and insist they call you Generalisimo.

If you are uncomfortable talking to strangers, just nod as they enter. When they nod back...immediately move to the corner and mumble audibly, "You think he's talking to us? YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO THAT AGAIN!!" Then just open your eyes real wide and stare at them smirking. Oddly enough they always push another button and exit.

Well I'm off shopping. Enjoy your weekend!

[blog talldarkavg1]


CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
7/16/2005 10:34 am

Ive done the shaking hand thing plenty of times in the elevator, yet mainly to the people who look very angry, and just want to go home.

-CuteAZguy27


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
7/16/2005 10:56 am

TDA, You are a hoot. You always manage to make me laugh with that humor of yours. I like the one about greeting the people entering the elevator. LMAO!!! Laughter is good for the inner spirit. Thanks for making mine happy. still laughing as I exit. Dont shop too much.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/16/2005 11:16 am

LOL...did you just grab their wrist...and then shake their hand? I know I do.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/16/2005 11:25 am

Thank you straightten. I feel the same...laughing is a really good thing. I sure love it.

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playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
7/17/2005 3:15 pm

(alternates the handshake in the elevator thing with the "pantyhose squats" thingy when no one else is in there) Curls and Squats, a total body work out...lol


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/17/2005 3:21 pm

LMAO! You sir, are a lunatic.


ExploreMore4Me 59F

7/18/2005 8:31 am

Tall...your humor never ceases to get to me. OMG...my sides hurt! Between you & Philosopy_n_sex...I could literally hurt myself!

Kisses oh funny one!

EM4M


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/18/2005 11:54 am

LOL Playful...thinking I need to hop on an elevator with you.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/18/2005 11:55 am

Thank Keith...point taken...I'll up my meds.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/18/2005 11:56 am

Explore thank you...one tries. Did I mention...great shoes?

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rm_reisaree 42F
611 posts
7/20/2005 5:29 am

Oh man I would love to ride on your elevator, Mister.. uh no.. I mean really .. I'd make you blush.. uh no.. I mean.. I would be just like you.. ya know? I mean.. aww hell, just forget it..


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 7:34 am

LMAO

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