Preserving Our National Treasure....MEN  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
6/28/2005 7:30 am
Preserving Our National Treasure....MEN

In my never ending quest, here is another installment designed to help women understand men. These stories are true, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Now do understand a big difference between men and women is perception. Where women see defeat, men see opportunity. Cases in point:

In 1992, June 19, my youngest was born at 7ish PM. The next morning–proud new daddy that I am–I was hotfooting off to the hospital to see her again. Seems I had a slight oversight and was doing 75 in a 30. Could have happened to anybody.

Oddly enough, I was singled out to be pulled over by a State Trooper. Law abiding citizen as I am I offered my driver's license. Unfortunately, it had expired in 1967. I've been busy.

When the Trooper saw it was a bifold he laughed. Laughing policemen...always a good sign. He went to the car, checked me out, and came back. "If I play this one by the book, your daughter will be in her teens the next time she sees you. Take off. AND RENEW YOUR LICENSE!"

Heh heh, life is good. However, my ex guilted me into renewing it. Which drew quite a bit of attention at the License Branch. You'd think nobody ever saw an expired license before.

A few weeks ago I was stopped again. The Deputy walked up to the car and asked me, "Is there a reason your plates are expired?" I blurted, "Yes, I'm a frickin moron." Again, that familiar laugh. He then asked for my driver's license. Ooops. In Indiana it seems they only last 4 years...making it expired 9 years ago.

I got 2 $50.00 tickets and a stern tongue lashing. My bad.

Women would see this as a defeat and something bad. I see opportunity! With only a few more tickets I have the rare opportunity for some really unique wallpaper for my dining room.

Every single guy knows immediately when he has a woman in his life. Balled socks. Women roll socks into neat little balls, or just balled at the end to align the socks into pairs. I guess their thinking is it makes pairs of socks easier to find.

Ladies, men are hunters and gatherers. The fun part of getting the hunt. We use the sock drawer as a form of the game Concentration. OK, here is a brown sock with tan diamonds. Hmmm...the mate is at 2 O'clock...5 socks down. BINGO. There.

Again, women see a messy sock drawer as a see the opportunity of expanding our memory.

Men are terminal fixers. We fix everything. If it doesn't need fixing...we disassemble it to see how it works. Then fix it. We love assembling stuff. All men know...the instructions are a last resort and left over parts when you're done is normal.

A guy I know assembled his own garage door and door operator. Who needs to hire a professional? He did it himself. Now granted, the door and operator were installed upside down. But...he did it himself and didn't have to pay for the labor.

Women would see this as a defeat. Guys see the opportunity. You're the ONLY house in the neighborhood with a drawbridge!

Women are so cut and dry. Everything in their world is black or white. Men live in the gray. Women have 2 piles of laundry, clean and dirty.

Men understand that there are degrees of dirty. With but one whiff of the highly trained male nose, we immediately realize there is an additional 17 hours of wear time here.

Also, afterwards, with a spritz of cologne and hanging it bought another 17 hours.

Women see this practice as a defeat. Men see the opportunity to help save the environment by consuming less water and energy.

Ladies...we'll talk again.

[blog talldarkavg1]

DirtyLilSecret61 55F

6/28/2005 9:43 am

I'm laughing hysterically while reading this. I thought it was only the men I've encountered in life who had these idiosyncrasies. It's no wonder I love men the way I do.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/28/2005 11:49 am

Thanks Lil. My goal in life is public service. Men are misunderstood and I'm trying to straighten that out before many more of us are clubbed in our sleep.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/28/2005 1:19 pm

LOL Huny you know exactly what we'd do...walk in circles, touch ourselves in public, drink exessively, and miss showers. Come to think of it...maybe it wouldn't be that different.

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guynamedjim 58M
728 posts
6/28/2005 3:29 pm

excuse me if I forgot to take out the trash and ate the last chicken wing but I'm rolling in laugher! And if the tub is still filled with water, I'm using it to water the garden. Rolling on the floor here

mehappy4u21 53F

6/28/2005 4:49 pm

You're right it wouldn't be much different... You guys do touch yourselves in public... Rather obviously I might add... Drinking to excess is many a man's specialty... That one along with the lack of showers is why men spend nites on the couch... But alas, opposites do attract, that's why we love you all anyway!

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/28/2005 5:15 pm

I am very fond of the title of this post.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .^ . . ^
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .(
@ )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .pigcancook

celticfaery 55F  
25 posts
6/28/2005 9:46 pm

mmmmmm Men....gotta love em....can't live with em...can't kill em!!!!

Actually some of those things they do...well have 3 boys of my own....I don't know any better....that is how its supposed to be right?....wiping the toilet seat coz their aim is off, washing clothes whether they are clean or dirty coz who can tell, they are all always on the floor.....gotta love em!!!!

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 7:27 am

Humbold scares you? Imagine how I feel! You do have an insight to us which is good. Mind explaining us to me?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 7:35 am

Guy, welcome brother. We're all in this together.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 7:37 am

Mehappy, so we do have one thing going for us after all. Woohoo.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 7:38 am

Keith, just grabbing at straws here. I'm not above using guilt whenever it'll serve me.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 7:39 am

Celticfaery, we may make you an Honorable Mention member. Some of it has to rub off doesn't it?

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(Juan S)
2642 posts
6/29/2005 9:58 am

Everything I have read by you is Hilarious. You are one of the reasons I enjoy blogging and reading blogs. Have a great day, Buddy and don't stop blogging.

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 10:28 am

Sizzle, you're a gentleman and obviously a scholar. Thank you sir!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/29/2005 2:19 pm

I heart...we're simple creatures. Flatter us, give us beer, every now and then pull our finger...we're fine.

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rm_affbreak 46M
287 posts
6/29/2005 5:48 pm


You can't feed kids with an empty man's fridge ... but it's a placeholder for all the beer friends could bring along while visiting.
So it's a nice opportunity to get boozed.

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/30/2005 9:34 am

Exactly affbreak. Food is found at Mickey D's...fridges are for alcohol.

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yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
7/7/2005 6:12 am

I think I'm a man............hmmmmmmmm

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/7/2005 11:42 am

LOL yagotta welcome to our hell.

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