Porn Just Isn't What It Used To Be ... Or Am I Dead?  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
8/19/2005 9:38 am
Porn Just Isn't What It Used To Be ... Or Am I Dead?

A buddy of mine offered me a porno last night and asked me if I wanted to see it. Men. Ah...of course I wanted to see. I love blind dates!

I prepared nicely. Candles. Potato chips. Of course, NO Cheetos...I've heard that joke! 3 beers. Need one beer to pour on my hand so my date is tipsy. To quote Pink..."I'm comming up...let's get this party started!"

I don't even remember the title so let's just say it was The Attack of the Penis Pullers. I'm ready...let 'er rip.

The opening scene had a decent looking guy and a nice looking blonde (I think she was Canadian) already going at it. Great dialog too.
Her (in monotone) Oh
15 second pause
Oh..................yes
47 second pause
Oh
2 minute 9 second pause
Ummmm
10 second pause
Oh

I like talking during intimacy as much as the next person but geez...is she ever gonna shut up? Finally he finished and miraculously...she did too. At the same time! Those porn stars sure have good timing.

The next scene featured every guys fav...the obligatory lesbian scene. Again, within seconds, they were naked and engaged in a nice mutual oral thing. No talking at all led up to this. I'm thinking lesbians use ESP or something. Then all of a sudden...the same dialog as the scene before! I'm starting to think something is up here! Do ALL women yak their ass off like this?

Scene three was a different guy and gal. Boring.

Scene four...boring.

Scenes 5 thru end...boring.

I started nodding off during scene four. Not because I am that premature...it was a POS! What a bunch of crap. Wait a minute...this reaker was directed by....a man! What the hell was he thinking?? Is this supposed to be erotic? Alas...I gave up and shut everything down. I'm afraid I am just too old for porn anymore. Either that...or porns just aren't that great in this decade.


[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
8/19/2005 9:59 am

I love 70's porn. It's funny and dirty.

p.s I beat you with my Homer Simpson brain picture by one day, so
technically I won the unofficial pic-off.


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
8/19/2005 10:06 am

Hearing a man say this renews my faith in humanity. Well, kind of an overstatement, but still...

I've thought about trying to stage a mass boycott a la Montgomery in the 50's, demanding better quality of porn. But I figured everyone would lose interest in the protest after the first ten minutes.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


DirtyLilSecret61 55F

8/19/2005 10:30 am

Oh I've seen a few good porn movies in the past few years. I hate that cheezy music they usually put in them though. How about some great jazz, candles, a scene similar to the kitchen one from 9 1/2 weeks .... and yes as you say, dialog that contains MORE than two syllables.

Wanna make one with me?

"Lil"


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
8/19/2005 10:31 am

dialogue? you're watching porn for dialogue!?

sheesh...EVERYbody knows yer supposed to watch porn for the music soundtrack!! not the dialogue


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/19/2005 11:05 am

what if space aliens see a porno and think this is how we live real life?


freetime648 52F

8/19/2005 11:17 am

Ah, those blind dates can be such a waste of time...but it must be that you MAY need a real date! LOL By the way, I, too, am from Indiana! Woo-hoo fellow hoosier!!! Maybe that is what the problem is......hmmmmmm!!


xx FREETIME648 xx


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/19/2005 11:34 am

I find myself noticing physical abnormalities during porn movies...like the woman with a clit that I swear is two inches long. Those porn movies are just bad for the most part. I think the best things are the titles they come up with.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 12:36 pm

Saint you may have won the pic-off...but I flung first! Neaner neaner neaner.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 12:37 pm

Wahine don't believe a word of it. I'm just trying to get laid. LMAO

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 12:39 pm

Katey yes! The old B&W footage. Filthy soles of the feet, everyone looks like Frankenstein, grainy, no acting at all. Wait a minute...aside from the B&W part...they're the same.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:16 pm

Anemone...maybe something I could believe. I want to see a seduction, some romance, tenderness, carressing, maybe an explanation of their attraction. What do I know?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:17 pm

Lil...as a director?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:23 pm

PNS...would make for an interesting invasion wouldn't it? A two-headed guy riding in on a penisaurus carrying three high powered dildoes. YeeHaww

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:25 pm

Freetime...a fellow hoosier! WooHoo. Howdy. Wait a minute....you're in Germany? Hmm, the Lord giveth...the Lord taketh away. I gotta start living right.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:30 pm

Daphne I saw that one...Tale of two Clitties. Great plot.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:35 pm

Sj...I'm so embarrassed. I didn't know. I was watching hoping to learn some pick up lines that obviously work!

[blog talldarkavg1]


Claudette33 106M/106F

8/19/2005 3:10 pm

Talldark - There are some good pornos out there - just not a lot. The best ones are usually produced by women. I've seen some cool science fiction ones that I liked. I also saw one hilarious one that was like a kid's TV show! However, most of the ones you can find easily are pretty much the same and kind of boring.

It's more fun to dress up, role-play, or get out the ropes and whips with your partner. Oh, sorry, I forgot you don't have one to play with!

Claudette


DukeAbbaddon 42M
280 posts
8/19/2005 3:20 pm

well 70s porn which i saw one bit when i was 11 was you know in the park etc and one think all the guys where hall and thin ! not mussle ? also mostly shaggy faces and the women where real ones but the plot is umm like going to the park and real ? ( shakes head well what do i know ) it was a supprise for the sailor as it was for me !


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 4:12 pm

Honni you devil you. Marilyn Chambers was great. I started using Ivory Soap because of her. Well, not really the soap. Just that cool box and the opening in the top. Nevermind.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 4:15 pm

See Claudette...always messing with me. Rub it in. Tonight I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm calling Mistress Monique von Ouchee.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 4:17 pm

Anemone you're welcome. Lil knows all the steamy hot stuff. She'd be an excellent director of your novel idea.

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

8/19/2005 4:18 pm

TDA- You're just not watching the right ones. You have to really search for good porn. My roommate has a subscription to HitFlix (similar to NetFlix), and they have a HUGE porn selection. We get porn almost every day, and some of them are really bad. But, some are incredibly HOT! It's actually kind of funny, I watch them more than he does! LOL

What can I say... I'm a voyeur!

]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 4:19 pm

Duke here in the 70's the women in porn had the shaggy faces

[blog talldarkavg1]


Ana_6973 43F

8/19/2005 4:23 pm

The problem with porn is that when they market to women it gets cheesy and lame and would probably appeal to a gay man more or it goes the other extreme and is boring and repetitive. I never did understand what my ex enjoyed so much about the ones he did buy.

Then there are ones like Fashionistas and their ilk that are pretty decent for a porn.

If we could get productions values and acting like the Secretary with graphic sex scenes now that would be a good porn. Damn, Brad Pitt needs to just get naked and do porn. Actually, it's rumored that Colin Farrel has a huge cock, maybe we need to get a porn done with him and Angelina.

~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~


mehappy4u21 53F

8/19/2005 5:08 pm

So did you give up on the porn as soon as Little Kenny got broken as featured in your X-ray blog...


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/19/2005 5:35 pm

some porno's put you to sleep... others leave you rolling on the floor with laughter. at least i've had that happen lol. the 'squeelers'...

i used to love watching the playboy porno's.. but they seemed softer somehow than normal porno. maybe it's just the ones that i picked. but they always had a romantic fantasy scene, and seemed more thought out than the usual.


helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
8/20/2005 5:33 am

Mmmm... tall and dark I can understand... but average??? Sounds to me like you need to be making a few "movies" of your own. I guess being single does suck, hhmm? Darn... did I just say suck? Oops! Sorry!

Hx

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


rm_arttattoo 32M
1 post
8/23/2005 3:35 pm

um orror


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