Ode To Our Own DaphneR ... Zombies Are People Too  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
8/18/2005 4:02 pm
Ode To Our Own DaphneR ... Zombies Are People Too


LMAO...I just couldn't pass this one up! Our own sweet little Daphne mistakenly mentioned in her comment today that she is a tad put off by the dead. I shall try to amend her thinking.

First off I remember a skit SNL did in the first season about death. I can't remember anything being done about death before or after that skit. They were kind enough to alert us to the Warning Signs of Death.
1. Occasional drowsiness
2. A bad odor
3. Rigor mortis

OK Daphne, here is a little story about death that may help you see the light and quit shunning these folks.

A fellow was feeling really bad and went to his doctor for a checkup. The doc ran every test imaginable and told the fellow to return the next day for the results. The next day, as instructed, he returned.

The doctor escorted him into his office and closed the door. "Please be seated Jim" the doc said solemnly. "Jim, I hate to tell you this. You have a very rare blood disease and I'm afraid you only have a few weeks left." Jim's mouth dropped open. After a few thought collecting moments Jim replied..."I have to get a second opinion!". His doc nodded in agreement.

Jim went to every specialist he could find. All agreed with the original diagnosis. In dispair, Jim made a last ditch call to a holistic healer. He met the man and sat down for the familiar reply after the examination.

The healer looked at Jim and said, "I recommend you take a mud bath seven times each day for the next four weeks, and soak for at least 29 minutes each time." Jim sprang to his feet...his eyes teared...his voice cracked as he asked, "This will cure me?"

"NO. But it will get you used to the dirt!"

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rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/18/2005 6:09 pm

Oh wait. I did forget that a dead guy would have a permanent woodie. Now there's a thought. (and another to add to you list of fetishes TDA...necrophilia)

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/18/2005 6:10 pm

the other one didn't work, we'll see if this one does.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


ProtonicMan 47M

8/18/2005 6:40 pm

That's great! I'll have to tell that to my buddies at lunch tomorrow.

Death can't be all bad... At least you don't have to pay taxes any more.

TJ


bigredeatsbush 51M/50F

8/18/2005 6:48 pm

The Dead... Well there used to be a sign at work that said, People dying at work and failing to fall over will not recieve thier full paycheck... Or something like that.

I don't remember the comedian, but he was talking about when he met Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones
"Keith"
"What"
"Lie Down"
"Why?"
"Because your DEAD!"


JDLA2 61M

8/18/2005 6:55 pm

It ain't the dying that is tragic, its the not living.


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
8/18/2005 8:16 pm

the zombies
white zombie
rob zombie
zombie by the cranberries

ZOMBIES ROCK!


five_speed 41M

8/19/2005 3:57 am

A girlfriend asked me once "how do I compare to your last true love?" I said, "well, she didn't complain as much as you, but you're alot warmer and smell alot better, so maybe it balances out."


xx_44DD_xx 51F

8/19/2005 5:33 am

LOL @ a "tad" put off by the dead......


muffjoy 61M/51F

8/19/2005 9:49 am

You have a fantastic sence of humor. We will be keeping an eye on this blog from now on.


kyplowboy2 61M

8/19/2005 10:53 am

LMAO must have been that wreckin' ball thats caused this...just a side thought, have you checked your pulse lately???


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:38 pm

T...lost my head...sorry.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:40 pm

Daphne...somehow asking a date to sit in a tub of ice cubes for 30 minutes even escapes me.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:45 pm

Tj this is true. Reminds me of the time a funeral cortege was turning a corner enroute to the cemetary, the herse door flew open, the casket slid out, and skidded 11 blocks down the hill. It crashed into a phamacy, mashed through every aisle, slammed into the phamacist's counter, the lip pops open, the guy inside sits up and says to the pharmacist..."Got anything to stop this coffin?"

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:47 pm

LMAO Red...here all week?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:47 pm

Good point JD. However, doesn't sound quite as bad when applied to ex's.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:49 pm

Sj my point exactly. I love zombies. In fact, back in the 60's I siezed every opportunity I could to become one.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:51 pm

LOL Huny...too deep? As in 6 feet or so?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:51 pm

LMAO Risky. I didn't know there were jokes featuring my ex.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:53 pm

5 speed...at every turn you make me proud!

sniff...my boy is growing up

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:54 pm

LOL 44DD...I try to tread lightly on touchy issues.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:55 pm

Thanks muffjoy...likewise. Great SN BTW!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 1:57 pm

LMAO kpb2. There are loads of theories floating around. Wasn't the wrecking ball though. Back when I was born they didn't use foreceps, they weren't invented yet. My doc used a corkscrew.

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mehappy4u21 53F

8/19/2005 5:15 pm

Dear Daphne... I feel the same way about Zombie's... Actually, I think my x-husband was one...


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/19/2005 6:08 pm

Mehappy...Eeeek. Don't you have to drive a pork chop through their heart or something?

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