No Penis Implant For Me Thanks, I'm Enlarging Naturally.  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
8/8/2005 12:28 pm
No Penis Implant For Me Thanks, I'm Enlarging Naturally.

My father once told me that his dream was to have a son. I filled that part. His next dream was that we wouldn't have his son circumcised...he'd make him wear it off.

Well, I'm circumcised. So, obviously he gandered at my impressive package and knew immediately that I didn't have a prayer of fulfilling part two. In fact, I'm thinking my circumcision may have been an arthroscopic procedure.

There must be other's as mediocrely endowed as me...my brethren...there is hope of enlargement. Ole Uncle Tall has some things I tried for you.

Tieing a rope to your Johnson and jumping off the garage roof may look good on paper, but let me tell you...these things are nowhere near as eleastic as people say! Rope burns and whiplash are no picinic I can tell you. Scratch this one from your list!!

Traction is another one that sounded good. I figured...hey, I have dumb bells lying around doing nothing...I have more rope...why not? First erection damn near knocked me out when it swung up into my forehead. I even switched down to only a 25 pounder, which bruised my knees a lot less, but still just wasn't getting it. OK, the swelling was impressive, but it went away after a month or two of therapy. And again, the rope burns.

No matter what Cartman tells you...beating your Johnson with a stick is not good! Scratch this one.

Rubbing down with poison ivy is another one that seemed logical but just didn't play out well at all.

I heard that a lot of people are alergic to shellfish...soaking little Kenny in shellfish water seemed right. A bit of advice though...if you're gonna soak your Johnson in shellfish water it's a good idea to use dead shell fish. Lobsters are a lot stronger than they look!

I won't even go into what slamming him in a drawer is like. Seems artificial swelling, no matter how impressive, always carries a consequence. I'm looking into a Do-It-Yourself implant technique. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime...want sex? Do what I do...use the attached photo as your guide.


[blog talldarkavg1]


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
8/8/2005 12:42 pm

you get worse


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


AltumHunksUnite 53M

8/8/2005 1:54 pm

I wish you had told me about the poison ivy thing a little sooner.

Let me drive. I like the view


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/8/2005 2:20 pm

LMAO Papy and just when you thought it was safe!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/8/2005 2:22 pm

Cleavis I feel so bad...sorry bud. A little FYI...say no to drugs and rat traps too!

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

8/8/2005 4:35 pm

TDA- You poor baby!

Do you need someone to kiss it and make it better?

]


Di47Him51 63M/59F
42 posts
8/8/2005 6:42 pm

OMG - I'm laughing to tears. TY!


leo_angel43 55F

8/8/2005 7:05 pm

I was laughing so hard, I was crying, keep up the good work and lay off the dumbbells


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 5:41 am

F&F if had someone to do that...you think I'd be jumping off roofs?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 5:42 am

Thank you Di. Good to see someone benefit from my experiments.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 5:43 am

I tried that one in grade school Honni. Girls slapped me and gays tailed me. Mind you I said tailed not tailgated.

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

8/9/2005 1:36 pm

TDA- In case you hadn't noticed... I was volunteering to do it myself... lol

]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 2:25 pm

Angel I'll try that...unfortunately I'm an imaginative little cuss.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 2:27 pm

Huny he's tough...I hope. Good point, what to do if he falls off? What the hell am I saying? Things wouldn't be any different than they are now.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 2:28 pm

GULP...F&F you were? Sounds like you just could be in for the best 2½ seconds of your life!

[blog talldarkavg1]


MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
8/9/2005 2:51 pm

Careful, my friend, or you might hear those dreaded words; "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" "You bastards!"

Too damned funny- this is my first time cruising the blogs, I'll have to check in on your thoughts again, you sick puppy.

.

Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.



And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!

Lately...

.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/9/2005 4:30 pm

Welcome Mister...LOL I am the self-appointed King of Sick Puppies. LMAO I think about South Park every time I reference Little Kenny.

[blog talldarkavg1]


deliciousngood 64F
1666 posts
8/10/2005 10:50 am

I am laughing so hard the dog is looking at me funny...and it's out in the yard...LOL

AdultFriendFinder killed kenny.....this might be a good thing...JUST KIDDING


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/10/2005 11:49 am

Those bastards!

Thanks D&G glad to participate in riling up the dog.

[blog talldarkavg1]


Claudette33 106M/106F

8/11/2005 2:58 pm

Talldark - I like the photo. I think you may be on to something.

Claudette


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 1:17 pm

Claudette it has never failed me yet. Well there was that time that she was undercover...

[blog talldarkavg1]


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