Just Who's Really Handicapped Here?  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
8/2/2005 9:54 am
Just Who's Really Handicapped Here?


Over and over we encounter a variety of situations where we have to take a look at our self-esteem. Maybe someone gives us a glance that makes us feel insecure. Maybe it's a harmless comment that we take to heart. Or maybe even that occasional pepper spray in the eyes accompanied by the whistle blowing, groin stomping, and 911 dialing.

Now matter how secure we are with ourselves, there comes a time we question that very core security. Why? Have we spent all these years tricking ourselves? I think maybe we have.

Ever see the movie Seventh Sign with Demi Moore? Not a great movie, but what makes it noteworthy is a performance by a man with Down's Syndrome. He was brilliant. I saw an interview with this young man and that interview set me back in my chair.

He said that only a small part of him has Down's Syndrome and the rest of him is no different than anyone else. What an incredibly secure statement.

This morning I saw an episode of Ripley's featuring a young lady that was born without arms. She's a teen and cooks, practices karate, types (faster than most), in other words, she does anything anyone else does. She made a comment that really set me back. She said, "...it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me. All that matters is what I think about me."

Whoa! What an outlook and what a statement. Hmm, how the heck can two people with what we all consider a handicap be so well grounded? Maybe, just maybe they actually believe what they say. Maybe they understand with their very essence that what they are saying is true, so they believe and live it.

We have all been fortunate enough, I think, to encounter such incredible people in our lives. Physically they may not function quite as well as you and me, but I wonder why I can't function as well as them mentally? They have an unshakable self esteem...gotta admit...mine is a little shaky from time to time.

[blog talldarkavg1]


bmoviejunkie2 50M
51 posts
8/2/2005 10:49 am

I think the more "normal" you are, the more "abnormal" you think you are. I know a woman at my job who has leg problems and she is an incredible woman.

Check out my blog


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/2/2005 11:37 am

Excellent post my friend!

Makes you think, and take things in perspective.


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
8/2/2005 11:39 am

yeah, i know what you mean ... self-doubt is a too frequent visitor around me ... i just never know with those people: are they really all that up all the time, or is that just what they want us to see on tv?? hell, i know, i'm cynical!



[blog freelove999]


yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
8/2/2005 12:04 pm

Yes, it seems that those who are more challenged in life have the best attitudes.....I've noticed that the poorest, hardest working folks are also the most generous and giving, in many cases!

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/2/2005 12:06 pm

Bmovie...thanks for the comment and trailer!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/2/2005 12:08 pm

PNS thanks bud. It really has made me think a lot. Just when I think I have it bad, my dog dies and my ex's lawyer calls. OK, bad example.

Many certainly have it far worse than me. So who do I sink that in with the grounded reality they seems to have?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/2/2005 12:10 pm

Free, certainly a camera prompts certain responses. But the young lady seems to actually live her feelings. I saw the karate, the typing etc. She is either one heck of an actress, or possible real.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/2/2005 12:15 pm

PNS thanks bud. It really has made me think a lot. Just when I think I have it bad, my dog dies and my ex's lawyer calls. OK, bad example.

Many certainly have it far worse than me. So how do I sink that in with the grounded reality they seem to have?

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

8/2/2005 1:31 pm

It's true what they say... it's what's on the inside that counts!

Btw, great blog, TDA!

]


wickedwench1960 56F

8/2/2005 3:25 pm

Two of my ex's siblings died as a result of alcoholism/drug abuse. A brother, twenty one and a sister, Patricia, at age 35. Pat had perfect attendance thru out her freshman year of high school, when the 'family disease' caught up with her. Over the next ten years, in addition to becoming a hard core gang banger, she started turning tricks to make money to buy booze and drugs. She bore two children, both girls. The oldest, now 17, just had her first child, a son, sired by a gang banger also.

I cannot tell you the countless hours I spent talking to Pat regarding the same issue your blog addresses today. I would tell her about the many people in the world that would give anything to have her healthy body and mind, even if just for a day. To be able to see colors or trees for the first time...to hear the sound of their loved one's laughter or music...to be able to run with abandon thru a field of grass...to be able to clearly articulate a thought. Unfortunately, these words were essentially wasted on her....and so the cycle continues with her daughter.

I am constantly in awe of those whose indominitable spirit allows them to succeed, regardless of the hand they are dealt.

Thank you for the stories of inspiration...we all need to take stock now and again of how fortunate we are, and how much we actually have to give, if only we would exert the effort.


ExploreMore4Me 59F

8/2/2005 7:47 pm

TDA...I can also honestly admit some of my "baggage" lies in the self esteem department as well! But when I find myself really becoming over critical, I always stop and think about my sis who is Downe syndrome! She has NO self esteem problem. Like she always says to me:"God didn't put his best into my looks, instead, he put it in my heart!" Now there's a mouthful & More!

Hugs & Kisses!

EM4M


frisky197 57F

8/2/2005 9:33 pm

Children born with handicaps, usely have one or two people from the day they come into this world, planning how they will make sure that their child will be accepted and loved no matter what, so it just natural that after years of this, you have a well rounded person, this also works with non-handicapped children.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
8/3/2005 3:47 am

For a long time I have never cared what others thought of me. But that comment coming from me just does not sound as brave or confident as it would from the girl who has no arms.

DustStormDiva


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 5:52 am

Wickedwench...wow. Thank you for writting this comment. You summed up what many forget, or for that matter, have never considered. Breaking the dominos from falling generation through generation should be the top priority for all of us.

Make our kids better.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 5:56 am

EM4M talk about a mouthful! That is exactly the gift so many have and so many lack. I'm telling you one thing kids, if you want to feel really good inside...and I mean maybe the best you have felt in a long time...do some volunteer work with the people society has deemed handicapped. I promise you, when you have finished your first day, you will never see life the same way again!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 5:58 am

Frisky you are soooo correct. Parenting. Plain and simple. Not relying on the TV to babysit, not running off doing your own thing, not working 900 hours a week. Parenting. Quite impressive what it can accomplish.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 6:12 am

Diva you hit it exactly. Too many times we forget our frame of reference. We all do it. Nice to have that eye opener now and then.

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Theflinkychick 105F

8/3/2005 8:47 am

Great post, great comments...

I don't think there is a person in the world who has no handicap of some sort. Some are just more obvious than others. It is those who pretend that there is NOTHING a little sideways about them that worry me...

Not all who wander are lost.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 10:16 am

Flinkychick, good points of view in this family isn't there? I agree, we all have issues...me just a little more than others LMAO.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 10:16 am

Flinkychick, good points of view in this family isn't there? I agree, we all have issues...me just a little more than others LMAO. OK, a lot more.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/8/2005 10:28 am

Anemone I think many of us have similar experience. Sure would be easier if kids came with an instruction manual. LMAO...about the bite you thing....

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/8/2005 10:31 am

Anemone thank you for sharing that. I had not heard it before and am glad I just did. Made me tear up I'll tell you. You are so right...the human experience is more important than anything else.

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