Just A Little Heads Up...Never Try To Mate With Roadkill  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
15586 posts
3/27/2006 2:05 pm
Just A Little Heads Up...Never Try To Mate With Roadkill

I'm not sure what the title has to do with this article, but I just figured I'd pass it along. Actually I wanted to talk about the influences we have over our children. Well, mine in particular.

I have 3 lovely daughters. Yep, lovely inspite of their genetics. Fortunately for them, they all take after their mothers. With the possible exception of the way they think. Of course, I never mislead them in any way...it must be genetic something.

Whenever my daughters asked me for advice I was always pleased to lend my take. Somehow, instinctively, they knew within three or four words if they should listen and heed...or take notes for possible future quoting.

For example. When my youngest was threeish, we were at my father's for Easter. The entire clan turned out. Judging by the size of their heads, I'm sure they were all relatives. I was sitting in the kitchen yakking and my father was around the corner in the dining room...well within earshot.

My daughter came up to me and asked, "Daddy, what is Easter?" I smiled, leaned forward slightly, and said "Honey, Easter is when Jesus came out of the cave, saw his shadow, and there was six more weeks of winter." She chuckled, shook her head, and left. My father peeled my skin off verbally for nearly an hour. Go figure.

What I am about to share I have wrestled with for three weeks. Tell or not tell? It concerns my eldest, now approaching 30. As with all my girls, she has always sought advice from me. In hindsight...I pitty her. Anyway, I decided to share what she shared with me. Her one sexual experiment with my son-in-law.

Keep in mind, my daughter IS her father's child. Seems she wanted to experiment a bit in the realm of bondage. Also keep in mind that my son-in-law is around 5'10", an easy 240, and loves my daughter to pieces. Seems she convinced him to lie nude face down on the bed and allow her to cuff him behind his back. Mistake one.

My daughter had acquired a remote controlled vibrating egg and told her husband about it. He thought it sounded interesting. Mistake two.

He allowed her to tape this thing right behind his scrotum. Mistake three.

Let's recap, shall we? 240 pound guy handcuffed naked face down on the bed with a remote controlled vibrating agg taped behind his scrotum. MY daughter at the remote. Ever see the movie See Spot Run? The remote control scene?

She hit the remote's button and said he let out a Banshee scream and lifted a good 2 feet off the bed. Now who wouldn't hit the remote again? And possibly again? At this point...it is entertainment unlike anything she had experienced. Her account is 4 or 5 times. His is almost 30 minutes. They are not separated or in divorce court.

Wonder where she gets this? Has to be her mother's side. By the way...guys, if anyone tries to convince you that dangling your junk on a poison ivy plant will make you immune...forget it! Sure, the swelling is impressive but the itching just isn't worth it.

Maybe next time we'll talk about a discovery of mine...even though flowers are in your butt crack...bees still like them.


[blog talldarkavg1]


saddletrampsk 54F

3/28/2006 11:01 am


what a visual this post creates..


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/28/2006 1:58 pm

Passions if you could have seen the look on her face as she extended her arm and demonstrated the pushing of the button. A classic look.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/28/2006 1:59 pm

Saddle...my son-in-laws version is pretty good too. A visual from his point of view.

[blog talldarkavg1]


digdug41 49M

3/28/2006 3:16 pm

OMG! ROFLMMFAO TDA YOU ARE JUST SIMPLY CLASSIC I CANT MESS WITH YOU

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


sweetSinn2690
2943 posts
3/28/2006 5:31 pm

Holy Hell!!!!!...Too bad she didn't have the CamCorder running...that might have been a winner on BDSM Funniest Home Videos, laffin so hard I am cryin'!!
~sweet~......lolololol



Oh WHATEVER BITCHES!


blogginOnly 58F

3/29/2006 3:23 am

Wowwwwwwwwww................roflmao..........you have made me laugh so hard, it felt good.......lol


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/29/2006 7:52 am

Dig...a chip off the old block it seems?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/29/2006 7:59 am

Sinn I think you're onto something. Wait a minute...my relatives nude? Not sure if I can drink enough to handle that.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/29/2006 7:59 am

Huny you volunteering for the camcorder job?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/29/2006 8:00 am

Only, glad my clan brought a smile to your face.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/29/2006 8:01 am

Wicked my pleasure. We're here all week.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/29/2006 1:07 pm

OMG...Um...Uh..... Speechless..ung..


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
3/29/2006 2:01 pm

hahahah this was hilarious


TTigerAtty 62M

4/5/2006 3:21 pm

LMAO Thanks for sharing this! I will be on the alert for ladies with vibrating eggs and rolls of masking tape. They'll never pull this trick on me!


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