If I Was Going To The Gynecologist Here's What I'd Do.  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/19/2005 12:21 pm
If I Was Going To The Gynecologist Here's What I'd Do.


I cannot imagine what a trip to the gynecologist must be like. No male can understand. Is it embarrassing? Old hat? Something you just do without thought? I just don't know. However, what I do know is what I would do at the gyne's office. I like to be remembered. Plus, why have an embarrassing experience? Make it memorable for all.

First off, hygiene is good. I would wash that area squeeky clean. Next, I'd trim my pubic hair into a nice neat perfectly shaped arrow pointing to the area to be examined. You know, the one with a long neck before the arrowhead. The doc probably doesn't see that too often.

Or...I'd wait until the doc was in position and grabbled that duckbilled platypus thingy...the speculum or whatever it's called. I'd sit up abruptly...use my right hand...and loudly slap a Glade Stickup to the inside of my left thigh. Look the doc in the eyes and say..."Sorry, almost forgot." Lie back down.

I don't really understand gynecological protocol, but is leaving a dildo in place, and running, a taboo when visiting them?

I know for a fact, if the doc was down there and asked me a question, I would have to reply as an echo.

Am I out of line here? Do women ever play pranks on the gyne?

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rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/19/2005 1:23 pm

Ok, now I'm gonna gripe. You really are a target. They posted this blog twice, then realized their mistake and pulled the one that I'd already commented on, dorks.

Anyway...as I said before....

Why not insert a small flashlight, lit end out so when the doc goes in for a look he gets a little surprise?

You make my mind work in even weirder ways, ya know?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/19/2005 1:46 pm

no lol,its a terrifying chore every time,and hes not even cute


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


ExploreMore4Me 59F

7/19/2005 1:52 pm

TDA...Up util this blog entry I never gave this idea a thought! (LMA
Now however, I'm giving it quite a few thoughts! (*Giggling Hysterically*) You should write a small handbook that could be distributed in the dr.'s waiting rooms! I think you might have a best seller on your hands! (Hands...hmmmm...wait you said Gynecologist, didn't you? LO

Hugs!

EM4M


CREAMYPUDDLES 53F
108 posts
7/19/2005 2:18 pm

Well, can't say I've ever played tricks. It's different than any type of arousment, and usually "the duckbilled platypus thingy" is shoved in with no thought as to skin or how it feels or treated with care. Want a pencil shoved up your pee hole? About the same!
But I'd love to be able to play these tricks on them too!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/19/2005 2:54 pm

LOL Daphne...I replied to your original post and my reply is missing too. I love the flashlight idea...add a microphone and a partner in crime hiding outside. You know a kid in a well gets media coverage!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/19/2005 2:56 pm

Papy I kind of figured it really would be. I'm totally put off by a prostate exam...thank you Dr. Gorilla Grip...so I understand the uneasiness.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/19/2005 2:58 pm

EM4M good idea. BTW...EM4M sent me an email and it was flagged. The message said the following:

System notice: The body of this message has been removed as this member appears to have been abusing our terms of service. By blocking this member's message, we reduce the incentive for future abuse and thereby provide a better overall experience for our members - we apologize for any inconvenience

EM4M abusive?? Hmm...I'll keep ya'll posted!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/19/2005 3:43 pm

Hmm Creamy funny you should mention pencil in the pee hole. I do that often...but I use a mechanical pencil. Took me 3 years to develope the muscle control to extend the lead. Just a little FYI. Little Kenny's tricky.

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keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/19/2005 3:53 pm

A ventriloquist patient could have loads of fun at the GYN's expense.


babsygirl 55F

7/19/2005 4:04 pm

it's not fun.....but gotta be done....to avoid problems in the future..


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/19/2005 4:38 pm

Ok, let me try this again, seems the system had a brain fart when I was trying to respond again.

You know it's all a conspiracy. They figure if the two of us team up against them they won't stand a chance. I never even saw your comment on my original blog post. On your page it shows latest people to comment, and I show up on this both of your gyn posts even though you only have one now.

We can beat them! I know we can.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


ExploreMore4Me 59F

7/19/2005 5:55 pm

TDA...that's okay...they AdultFriendFinder wiped out my entire blog this evening, my profile, my emails...when I contacted them they said they had no idea as to why it happened! But I'm back! Abusive? Moi? Not me...pain is NOT my thing!


EM4M


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
7/19/2005 7:02 pm

I glitter up down below either silver or gold...mine is the prettiest he's ever seen!


DirtyLilSecret61 55F

7/19/2005 7:14 pm

I'm waiting for that ob/gyn who REALLY looks like Mel Gibson.

"Lil"


i6u9we69allnight 39F

7/19/2005 8:32 pm

oh my I cant stop laughing,

I have played a joke on my former doctor... I decided to let my hair grow back down there and then shaved the word hi into it. My doctors face turned beat red and he told me he wished all women were so creative because it would make his job a little less dull.

Now I have a new doctor and man I wish he would stick something else ( like himself) up there instead because he is so fine!!!


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

7/19/2005 9:48 pm

My gyne use to tell jokes throught the exam to relax you, ,and I`d joke right back, we were always trying to come up with the better jokes, one time when he was doing an internal I showed him how well my kegle muscles worked, hahahaha I looked at him and said now just imagine if it had teeth ,, he laughed so hard , he was crying.

ooopys Bad Blonde


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
7/19/2005 11:07 pm

OMG, I hate this visit. I used to hate when the assistant stands back and watch the doctor play with you. Im staring at the ceiling begging for it to be over.

I had one to examine me when I was pregnant, he filled in for my regular doctor. his hands was so damn big I said never again will he put that big ass hand anywhere near my tunnel, one finger was hell and two made me want off the table. Now I schedule my appointment for when my doctor is IN.

TDA, to me, its embarrassing, and no matter how many I get I hate them. A gynecologist is the one person who can feel and fondle a woman and nothing can be done about it. (unless he crosses the line)

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
7/20/2005 1:55 am

I had a very handsome OBGYN in Ohio, I was hoping he would have examined me with his tongue, because I hate those exams and that would have made it memorable anyway.

DustStormDiva


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:20 am

Keith I think you're onto something here. With a little muscle control, the proper throwing of your voice...Hello David Letterman! What an act!!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:21 am

Babsy I know. There must be a way to liven it up somehow??

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:22 am

Daphne...we have been targeted. Speak only in code. Itshay!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:24 am

EM4M it blew me away! Trust me, I get email you can sink your teeth into. We're talking major league hate mail or the female counterparts to the talking dicks. You EM4M are a true lady. I couldn't fathom what AdultFriendFinder was up to??

Welcome back. Oh yea, mend your ways.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:25 am

Bellisima...there is NO doubt in anyone's mind!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:27 am

Lil you may be onto something here. I'm writting to Mel. You heard it here first kids...Coming next spring...The Passion of the OBGYN!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:28 am

LMAO Nic. Even better if he was in school during the 60's. Flashback city.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:29 am

ROFLMAO allnight. What a great gag! Should have sent the footage to AFV...$100,000 in your pocket!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:31 am

Blonde honey...never and I mean never even hint there may be teeth down there to a male. Eeeek.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 5:33 am

Diva did you suggest this technique? Could spin off into all kinds of things. Tongue exams...has possibilities.

Maybe psychics could do a vagina reading. I need to think on this one.

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rm_reisaree 42F
611 posts
7/20/2005 5:43 am

I hate gyno.. I am 38 years old and can count on one hand how many times I've been.........


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 7:05 am

Your Majesty...not only am I a great baby sitter for the dogs...but...I was trained at the Royal Institute of Gynecological Studies & Tire Center.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 7:31 am

Huny...I am totally out of control. I'll up my meds.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 7:47 am

Straightten you make a great point! I can assure you of this, if men switched roles today...gyne's would go out of business. I have often wondered what the real impetus for various professions may be?? The mere hint of a perverted gyne is enough to run chills up anyone's spine. And, BTW...why would anyone become a proctologist?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 8:53 am

Aww shucks countrygirl...thank ya ma'am. I'm glad I can lend a hand in making you smile. I have a question...why the heck does a female become a gyne? To serve her fellow sisters (I hope)? Or is there another agenda? Anyone else have similar experiences?

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007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
7/20/2005 1:23 pm

TDA thats a good question, I have no idea why anyone would want that profession. LOL

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/20/2005 2:28 pm

Straightten I agree!! I wouildn't be a lot of things. But thank God someone is willing.

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__Huntress__ 55M/57F

7/20/2005 5:25 pm

The one place I don't want to hear Tom Jones singing, "What's New Pussycat ... Wooooeee Wooee Wooooee Wooee" ...


PailsDiverHonks 55F

7/20/2005 7:33 pm

Thank you for the ideas!
I never played any tricks on my ObGyn. I just want toget the appointment over with.
I did almost kick my Ob in the delivery room. After my son made his entrance the impatient doctor thought he would help my placenta come out by pulling on the thing.WRONG!!!! You don't do that to someone who passed on the epidural. So I lifted my leg off the stirrup and went right for his face. Yeah he stepped back pretty fast.


leighann4 47F

7/21/2005 12:32 am

My OBGYN has naked pictures of men on his ceiling. It does give a woman something to look at while the doc is busy. A woman is tense and nervous anyway and then they stick cold metal in you and it just makes it worse. Not only does my current doc have nude pictures he also warms the plattypus thingy. I hate my yearly exam but it is so important. I also usually have a question or two to ask so as to have a topic for discussion with the doc. That way it goes even faster. I can't say that I have ever played a joke on the OBGYN but I will think about doing it now. I think I will get a temp tatoo that says "You Are Here!"


leighann4 47F

7/21/2005 5:54 am

I did date the son of an OBGYN once. Upon meeting his parents I wondered if the doc would comment to his wife, "Not tonight honey, I have been looking at them all day and I am tired." I have also dated the son of an OBGYN nurse. He told me that she would discuss the patients over dinner and how nasty or beautiful a certain woman's vagina was.

Another incident happened 4 years ago...
I am in the "Position" the doctor has inserted the metal plattypus thingy.
Doctor to Resident (I didn't know at the time my vagina was going to be a training subject)
Do you see that round white, donut shaped thing? That's the Cervix. It is in excellent shape and looks very healthy and plump.
(To myself I am thinking..."Why thankyou I take it out for dinner and do excercize it on occasion. At least one part of my body is in good shape.")
Then the doctor proceded to bring in two other students to look at my Cervix. Then the doctor commented that only 25% of his patients had a Cervix and it was important for all of the students to see a healthy one. I of course paused in my musings (praying they would stop discussing my Cervix and Vagina) and blurted "Why only 25% of your patients have a Cervix?" I am thinking boy this guy is a quack! He did then noticed that there was a woman on the other end of the Cervix under discussion and that she could talk. He responded by saying "Well 50% of my patients are men... 25% percent of the women have had a hystorectomy so that is the 25% that actually have a Cervix."

Needless to say I haven't been back to him. I found the one I currently have and he is the best.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:56 am

LMAO Huntress. Do they ever play music during an exam? Or for that matter, offer videos or any other form of entertainment?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 5:58 am

*Note to self...NO PULLING on Greeneyes!!
Wear a cup.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 6:01 am

LMAO Leighann. Tattoos! That opens up a whole new realm.
Proceed with Caution
Slippery when WET
This Spave Available

LMAO this may call for its own blog!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/21/2005 9:09 am

Leighann...LOL see above

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