I Prayed For Death ... It Didn't Come ... I'm Angry !  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
8/11/2005 6:51 am
I Prayed For Death ... It Didn't Come ... I'm Angry !


If you have never gone Back-To-School shopping with 2 teenaged daughters...drop to your knees and shout Hallelujah! Sacrifice a goat. Toss a virgin into a volcano. And NEVER get married. Teenagers are evil! They used to be so cute.

I'm not even going to touch on the fact that we had to hit 13 different stores. I'm not going to address the fact that 9 times we had to stop, look around and appear nonchalant every time a hot boy came by. I will not talk about having to witness my daughters purchase underwear that has less material than my disposable dental flossers. We'll chat instead about a couple of things in general.

At the very first stop we were greeted by a salesgirl. I use the term loosely. She stood about 5'10", weighed in around 30 pounds, had jet black spiked hair, nose ring, eyebrow ring and a pierced navel. With a chain that lead down into her jeans. And we're not talking about a jewelry chain either. We're talking about something that could tow a Toyota. She had 9 black painted nails, and one white one. I passed on everything else, and asked about the white nail.

It was an homage to her fallen homies. WTF?? Here's an upper middle class, semi-anorexic, punk/Goth, rural Indiana ultra-white girl, talking about dead homies? When did this happen? I watch the news. We have live remote location TV coverage of unusually shaped windshield bug splats...I don't remember seeing a gang related problem. We don't have gangs! Oh wait a minute. I remember a few years ago we had a Jewish Biker Gang. Well, our version. They wore leather yarmulkes, rode new Vespas, and one of them did have a tattoo. I think it read, "Born to Invest Wisely" or something (thank you Stanley Myron Handleman) like that. But they're all accountants now.

Sorry, got side tracked. So StarChild asks my daughters (13 and 14) what they are looking for. Never ask a teenage girl with her dad's credit card what she's looking for! They go to the "tops" aisle first. Excuse me...we're looking for school clothes here not street walking costumes. I've seen pasties with better coverage. Oh yea, they all have these clever sayings on them...like "My face is UP HERE" with an arrow. Or, "They're Real. Not that you'll ever know!" Just what you want your daughters wearing to school.

I cannot even begin to touch on the pants experience. I gave up after awhile. I gave them cash. Took them back to their mother. Hugged her and expressed my admiration for her. And bolted. Just recapping the first stop did me in. I may have to take the rest of the day off and hang in a bar with other victimized dads.

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AltumHunksUnite 53M

8/11/2005 7:37 am

One of my buddies is going through this right now with his young teen daughter. She has tons of Bratz dolls and now wants to dress up like them.

Let me drive. I like the view


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 7:43 am

Heh Heh Heh Katey...my work here is done.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 7:53 am

Huny...shhh. LOL you'll blow my cover!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 7:54 am

Cleavis...I cannot begin to tell you how much I wish we were playing dolls together again! I always got stuck being Roy...the gay hairdresser.

DISCLAIMER: Not that there is anything wrong being Roy the gay hairdresser!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 7:57 am

Jez he has my respect and admiration. LOL, it's a tough business being a dad. However, still much easier than being a mom!!

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nedthebundler 56M/59F

8/11/2005 8:14 am

TDA1,

I feel for you, I only have one teenaged daughter,(aka. Her Most Ungrateful Majesty, the Princess Cactus Ass)and that can be enough to render most fathers & their wallets into something as soft and useless as a ball of overcooked pasta. Taking two "women in training" shopping is not something that should be attempted by the average man unless you are experienced in cleaning up train wrecks, and can tolerate the large quantities of blood that will leak out of every opening in your body.

As for the clothes, and their lack of coverage......we can only blame ourselves. What man doesn't enjoy seeing beautiful women scantily clad in what would pass for a spider's web? Our daughters know the effect these things have on males, and enjoy seeing young ones acting like complete fools, and older ones (dads) standing there with their hands full of hair, and making those funny choking noises.

It no longer bothers me that my daughter will only wear next-to-nothing underwear, at least she is wearing something, but it would be nice if she didn't pull on the barbed wire thong every 28 days or so..................... All you can do is love them................

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/11/2005 9:11 am

When I used to take my daughter shopping for new clothes I'd pick a top or dress out and she'd try it on and say "Mom, it's too low." Laugh, believe it or not, and I'm not sure how it happened, but my daughter is a prude when it comes to dressing.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


bigredeatsbush 51M/50F

8/11/2005 9:53 am

This is the Mrs of Big Red...Hubby and I were talking last night, saying how kids were driving him crazy this summer. He then proceeded to say he just doesnt know I do it, cause I am here all the time. He is wonderful when he gets home, he is calm and talks to them. I have lost all my cool by then and I have felt close to going nuts.

But anyways, about the shopping. My daughter and I went to walmart the other day, she got all these shirts with sayings like "Get Lost", "Grumpy Rebel", and "I like attention, just not from you".
I am a mom, and I absolutely HATE going clothes shopping with her. She looks and looks and looks before deciding. Then she will look somemore, and decide what she has is no good. It is so much easier just to give them the money and go buy their own.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 10:09 am

Ned you summed it up nicely. We love them and consider the reprocussions of locking them away until they're 27 or so.

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ANewLevel4Us 38M/37F

8/11/2005 10:31 am

I dread when my girls grow up to be teenagers... 10 more years or so, I have time for some early therapy and shock treatments. My father never had to go through this with me - he lived 1300 miles away when I was in my teenage years. Lucky man, in that respect.

And I always wondered why my mother would pop a Klonopin everytime we went clothes shopping. Hmm.


sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
8/11/2005 11:54 am

TDA - You would think that you would know by now to just give em the cash and dash.....I was the mom in the shopping spree and couldn't handle the trips to the mall with my daughter. Have boys, they are so much easier.....


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/11/2005 11:57 am

Teenage boys are only SLIGHTLY easier to deal with... at least I can identify with some of the things they are going thru.LOL


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 12:20 pm

Daphne I will pay dearly for your How To booklet!!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 12:22 pm

Bigred I'm with you. I thought I was some kind of super person or something...wrong. However...I just may have something up my sleeve for the next venture. Teenage girls embarrass easily...heh heh heh, I may be able to speed things up after all.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 12:23 pm

Anewlevel I considered smacking my forehead with a rubber hammer! An hour into it...I decided a ball peel hammer would be better.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 12:24 pm

Sin obviously I am NOT the brighter of the two parents!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 12:25 pm

Sizzle...I'm split on this issue. Not sure I want a son...could wind up a chip off the old block...and I'd have to shoot him.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 2:07 pm

Oh geez Honni...the shoe issue. Mine MUST HAVE Etnies...or something like that. In different styles and colors. I spend more in one session on their shoes than any one child needs. You know, I'm starting to think that maybe their mother is spoiling them!

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rm_Network_Minx 47F
542 posts
8/11/2005 4:05 pm

I have been to the mall shopping with teenaged girls 15 and 14 in the last two months. The 15 year old will only buy and wear boys jeans because they hang low enough on her hips to show her thong panties. This is the same girl who wouldn't buy a two piece swimsuit. The other will only wear 2 piece swimsuits made of dental floss. The top and the bottom have the same amount of material and are interchangeable. She won't wear miniskirts but she will wear jeans that show her panties too. The 15 yr old prefers bondage styled shirts with metal buckles and mesh mostly black. The 14 yr old wears t-shirts with rude sayings. I call the 14 yr old the "Evil Queen." She answers to that moniker. She knows she is eventually going to rule the world, but until then she is happy running and ruining her families' life, especially her brother's life. I cannot have the two girls together for any length of time. I have paid blood money to both girls to get them to be quiet and quit causing my ears to bleed.

NM


kyplowboy2 61M

8/11/2005 8:23 pm

TDA1, I feel for ya. Been there, done that, still have a few flashbacks time to time. Hand twitch here, REM w/glazed cloudy eyes there...all the little voices tellin' ya to calm down, it's only a dream, you'll wake up in 7 or 8 years and the world will be skippy again. Luck, dude.

kpb2

P.S.- a cattle prod may be useful to expidite trips down the aisles at stores.


hotandhorny107 58F

8/11/2005 11:13 pm

Thankfully I had boys. But in some respects they were also difficult especially my oldest one. He was so picky and set in his ways that it drove me up a wall. Certain jeans, certain shirts and inevitably something was not right. Not to mention sneakers.

Our school district finally began requiring a "uniform" of khaki or navy chinos, and solid color shirts a few years ago. The girls are also allowed to wear skirts however they must be a certain length and will get sent home to change if they are not. There was a lot of bitching and moaning at first but it has proven to be a huge relief for mommies and daddies throughout the district.

On the other hand, I do recall torturing my parents during my school days. Being a child of the seventies was no picnic you know. The jeans I wore could only be approximately 2 to 3 inches above my pubic area, and it was better if the ass was worn out and patched. Shirts were tight and wearing a bra was out of the question as well.
Hair was long, shoes were boys sneakers or "earth shoes" and fringe was everywhere for a while. Thank goodness the photos were lost long ago.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 5:39 am

NM obviously your girls know mine. The only difference is mine do not have a brother to torture...they prefer their father.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 5:46 am

Risky you have a great idea there. I think that a cash allowance is a very good idea. Where I butt heads with their mother is on the amount of cash. I figure, at today's prices...not to mention GOD forbid you're not wearing a label...it takes around $600 a kid to fit them up. Their mom figures $200 each. I'm so confused.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 5:50 am

kpb2 there must be a support group somewhere for dads that have endured this. I'll keep you posted.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 5:51 am

sexyfit...what a great idea...even tough I closely resemble the model you used, I'm going to try this approach. Thanks!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 5:53 am

LOL H&H...I remember those days all too well. The "something always wrong" hits a chord. I just keep repeating to myself...get 'em to 20...get 'em to 20.

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demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/12/2005 9:13 am

I need to let my mom know how lucky she was though i suspect she knows already. The only time i ever heard her cry and scream with frustration was bra shopping.. we went to EVERYYYYY store in town... and then ended up buying the very first one i tried at the very first store i went to. lol. she almost killed me.

Otherwise? i loved second hand stores... you can find all sorts of cool stuff, totally unique from what everybody else has. and comfortable because they're already worn in. I still remember mom laughing over her best friend who showed up with a brand new $100 sweater her husband bought her... and i came in a few minutes later with $20 worth of like-brand new (some new with original price tags) clothing... jeans, sweaters, shirts. i guess i was just wierd lol.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 11:19 am

Kitten mind if I make my girls read this? I can only pray they'll discover those shops. I may have to make up some leafletts about them and leave them around the house.

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Greenguy96 43M

8/13/2005 9:49 am

Thats funny your talking about white kids acking like they come from the hood. I have worked with kids from some of the worst schools in the NYC area, And the kids from the getto are better behaved, or to me, then any rich kid. I never under stood it, maybe the kids are just trying to fing themselfs,then again I knnow many adults who do the same thing. mmm good story


redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
8/14/2005 3:19 pm

It is after stories like these that I thank the gods we chose not to have children. I now see the connection between having kids and why one would expect them to take care of you when you get old. Payback time.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 5:43 am

Anemone that certainly explains the noose on the neck feeling I get.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 5:44 am

Thanks greenguy I think I have the explanation and it will be forthcoming.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 5:46 am

Payback indeed red. LOL, mine are in for quite a ride...then again I am too.

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