I Gotta Be The Dumbest Som'bitch On The Planet  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
15586 posts
10/12/2005 7:10 am
I Gotta Be The Dumbest Som'bitch On The Planet

I have been putting in some fairly long hours lately at my real job. I don't mind it since I have no life and this is a great time filler. I usually start my day by getting up around 4:30 and get back home around 9 at night. Last night something hit me.

I have 8 clocks at home. Two in my bedroom, one in the bathroom, four in my living room, and my cell phone. Of the two in my bedroom one is the alarm clock. The alarm clock is 27 minutes fast. The other bedroom clock, a really cool clock that has all the hands operating backwards, is 28 minutes fast. The clock in the bathroom is 31 minutes fast. In the living room they range from 32 minutes fast down to 26 minutes fast. The only accurate clock is on my cell phone.

I know all these clocks are fast because I set them. I am a person who is never late. Ever. If I say 9:16 count on it. I'll be there at 9:15. I have always been on time. By the way, the clock in my car is 13 minutes fast. I do not ever wear a watch. Anyway, I am always on time and all my clocks are set fast. Wouldn't you think I would realize that?

When I wake up, I am immediately functional. Always have been. Yet everyday, when I wake up, I believe the times I see. I am always pushing myself to stay on schedule...even though the clocks are fast. And even though I set them fast somehow I forget that. WTF? How can this be? How can I set clocks fast, know that they are set fast, and yet believe the time they say?

I'm losing it I think. Maybe I need a remedial time course or something. I know what you're thinking..."Tall, bud, you need a remedial many courses." And you're right. But how can I continually trick myself on this time issue?

[blog talldarkavg1]

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
10/12/2005 9:14 am

lol I used to do the same thing lol thankfully time doesn't mean a great deal to me anymore


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/12/2005 9:41 am

I'd venture to guess that there is only one thing that we're all thinking.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 9:48 am

Wy...what is your secret?

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 10:32 am

Katey when you learn...please share it with me!

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_deaminveni 50M
116 posts
10/12/2005 11:13 am

I have only one clock in the house (the video) and I have no idea whether it's set correctly. I have a clock on my mobile (which doubles as an alarm clock (five minutes fast). I wear a watch (also five minutes fast), like you I'm never late (and I hate people who are).

How do you keep fooling yourself - I dunno LOL

dano6332 56M

10/12/2005 11:34 am

TDA I got nothing for you other than foisting responsibility to one of your many wives, mistresses or adopted children. With the number of possible slaves ummmmm family members available you can assign one for each day and they would have the responsibility of making sure your never late. Appropriate punishment of course for the inevitable transgressions. Just a hint I would not assign Trav to bathroom duty. The competitive spirit would kick in and it could get ugly.
Or you could hire a troupe of midgets (crap sorry not very PC of me, vertically challenged individuals) to follow you around while dressed in cute little outfits. Think about it for a while and I think you will agree this could well be worth tripping over them in the morning.

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 11:54 am

LOL Wahine...hmm brain damage?

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_Network_Minx 47F
542 posts
10/12/2005 11:54 am

I think I know why. It's the same reason every clock in my house is fast too.

There is my home time and then real time.

I have discovered that if I don't compensate for home time by setting the clocks ahead I will be late to work and everywhere else. On average in real time it should only take me a minute to walk out the door to my car but in home time I have to backtrack to my bedroom three times and thru the kitchen twice before I can get outside to real time.

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 3:22 pm

Jez I hope you're right. You know, the voices keep telling me I'm abnormal.

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 3:25 pm

Dreamin glad to meet a fellow on time stickler. Prompt is important I think. It's a sign of respect. Then again, shaking penises is a sign of respect in some cultures. What the hell am I talking about? Was I finished?

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 3:27 pm

Dano no need to worry about being PC here. We're all family. I don't think the children thing would work...but the fidget idea has possibilities. I know...fidget isn't PC correct, but have you ever noticed how speedy their fingers are?

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/12/2005 3:29 pm

NM I think you're onto something here kiddo. I do laps before leaving too. Did I forget to turn something off? Do I have my keys? Am I peeing right now? Same stuff.

[blog talldarkavg1]

screwmeovernout 59M

10/12/2005 4:12 pm

I do the same thing, Its mind over matterlessly = less mass matter in the mind, mindlessly inquisitive. Good thing we can't set the day ahead.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
10/12/2005 6:06 pm

And yet, somehow, it all works. I do the same thing also with my bedroom clocks.

countrycookin4us 40F

10/12/2005 8:12 pm

lmao...think i'll go for the brain damage answer. lol xoxoxo

DaphneAgain 103F

10/12/2005 8:53 pm

Ok, setting the clocks ahead a LITTLE I understand. My clock in my truck is 3 minutes ahead. But a half hour?

Boss, you said on the tape it would self-destruct in 15 seconds. It blew up in my face, now I have to hide my eye!

2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
10/13/2005 7:11 pm

Don't sweat the details. Whenever I fake throwing the tennis ball, the dog still takes off running. Eight years and he hasn't figured it out yet, and he could care less to boot.

So it should be with you and your clocks. Now have a biscuit and go lay down.

XesSex03 49M/48F

10/13/2005 7:51 pm

No Idea why you keep fooling yourself but now we know why you're not married.
(Ducks swinging broom handle.)
Gotta go now.
MR. Xes

demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
10/13/2005 8:47 pm

My mom did this to us all our lives growing up. We'd always panick and be out at the bus stop 15 minutes before anybody else got there, bcuz we'd leave early so as not to be late, and then remember she sets it 10 minutes ahead. Even knowing she does that.. i still have panick attacks and run out the door when i visit(though now is excusable because i don't keep my clocks ahead. though maybe i should... too many speeding tickets).

rm_skyeone2 64M/45F
7186 posts
10/13/2005 9:29 pm

No worries there Ken, mine are set similarily. I too do not wear a watch for the same reasons. Somehow, and I don't understand it either, my brain always believes the time when i first wake up. It usually takes me about an hour before I realize that I'm half an hour ahead of myself. Talk about time travel............lol


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