I'm Thinking We Need Japanese Toilets In Indiana  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
15586 posts
3/19/2006 11:07 am
I'm Thinking We Need Japanese Toilets In Indiana

You know, some things just scream to be talked about. Here's one. Toilet etiquette.

I admit, on occassion, I might not have exercised the best judgement in bathroom situations. For example: in movie theatres. I always take a large fresh apple to the movies with me. Not that I like fruit...but rather I like fun. Go into a movie restroom and lock yourself in a stall. Wait for a crowd to gather. Begin grunting. Spend a good 30 seconds on each phase. Escallate into moaning. Then finally...shriek "Oh God...YES" As you scream, throw the apple into the toilet bowl, dead-center with some force. Be careful and lean back as a good chuck into the bowl creates a 6 foot splash. Exit the stall limping.

Anyway, back to the reason for this article's suggestion. I really get annoyed with selfish, self-centered buttmunches. Some Indiana restaurants have a one toilet bathroom. The object...in and out. Not camping.

I'm a large fellow, and large fellows have large bladders. When large bladders reach max capacity...dilly dallying in the ONE bathroom is not appreciated. Trust me, at my age the pee pee dance is not amusing.

Finally this rather rotund waddler exits and I streak in there. Error. Error. Definitely should have understood that a place like this wouldn't have a high-tech ventilation system before storming it. I take a deep breath and through watering eyes take aim for the bowl. Eurika! Bladder drainage at an impressive rate of flow ensues.

As I support myself on the backwall to avoid passing out, I notice a STACK of magazines. WTF? I'm busting a gut and this buttmunch is learning decorating tips? Why on earth does a restaurant bathroom need magazines. Is this why people eat here? For the thoughtful dumpage magazines?

I think restaurants should have the Japanese style toilets as on the left in the photo. Try spending an hour straddling that sucker! Talk about charlie horse. This wiould assure a constant flow in and out of patrons. When I'm governor...done deal!


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angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
3/19/2006 11:28 am

This was too funny! And I lived in Japan for 6 years. It took some time to learn how to straddle that toilet without getting your pants wet! Even better in China....where they have stalls....but the toilet is just a trough that runs downhill....so, whatever the person in the stall next to you is doing...passes right through the stall you are squatting over. Really pleasant! But...you wouldn't read a magazine in there for sure!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/19/2006 11:34 am

Thank you Angel. Yikes...traveling goodies 'neath your feet...definitely no reading!

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rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
3/19/2006 12:56 pm

I always scream "oh God...Yes!!" in toilet stalls but it has nothing to do with apples. Or taking a shit, for that matter.


readytolay_3
(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)
105F

3/19/2006 12:56 pm

If you properly bribed would you do the pee pee dance for me...??? Ready

Ready


TTigerAtty 62M

3/19/2006 1:51 pm

I've never been to Japan, but I have been to Indiana. Very similar to Missouri. Very few attendants in the restaurant or gas station restrooms to hand you a nice clean, warm hand towel to dry with after washing your hands and face. Very seldom do you find some nice toiletries with which to freshen up ... you know Old Spice cologne, some Scope mouthwash, perhaps a little Brylcreem for the hair, a toe nail clipper, etc. Come to think of it that might be why your toe nails have gotten so long. Funny post! Not going to Japan or China any time soon!


freetime648 52F

3/19/2006 2:15 pm

They have the same thing in France...just flat, ridged places to put your feet placement as to not wet you pants legs....... first time I seen one....I held out til we got to our hotel.......it was gross and nasty actually......

Funny thing though...I will take a leak in the middle of the woods...hmmmmmmm




xx FREETIME648 xx


mm0206 68F
7767 posts
3/19/2006 3:26 pm

why is bathroom humor so dang funny..???

.....m.
lmao


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
3/19/2006 4:37 pm

Didn't realize you were pulling the weekend shift this time around.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


VATraveler1948 68M

3/19/2006 6:51 pm

Ooh, bathroom humor, ya gotta love it. We once had a New Years Eve party in our home where we played a video tape entitled Potty Time. It was a collection of songs designed to help prepare a young child for toilet training. Here we were, a house full of adults (well, at least chronologically) and we were absolutely rolling on the floor with these songs. I guess you would have had to be there. Here's a snippet... sing this to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Wipe, wipe, wipe your butt, always front to back. Once again, I guess you had to be there...

Oh yea, I've been to Japan, China, Korea, the Philipines... they all had the one thing in common, toilets just like the one you showed. My wife has a hilarious story about an experience she had in a Japanese department store. She was in there with our two little girls (imagine the challange of introducing a 3 and 4 year old to that tolet). They were out of the stall, washing their hands when they heard this soft American voice saying Help. My wife answered and the woman said, I'm so embarassed, I just tried to pee and I have peed all over my slacks. My wife had to go out into the store and buy the woman some clean dry clothes so she could get out of the store with even a shred of dignity. I guess the Ugly Americans have to stick together.


libgemOH 56M/52F

3/19/2006 8:59 pm

Cool, someone else who says PEE PEE dance!

What I really want is one of those bidets, the kind that have a stream of warm water to clean up with afterwards? You'd have a big time butt munch in there and like Saintlianna, I'd be creaming OH GOD too! -B


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
3/19/2006 9:29 pm

Doesn't look so bad.
Like hunkering down in the woods
cept with running water
and no need to cut off a strip
off of my t-shirt to finish up.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


Efilnikufesin69 47M

3/20/2006 4:19 am

One of those shits where you grunt so hard you feel as if an Anurism is on the way! LOL! Too funny!


Valdrane78 38M

3/20/2006 1:10 pm

Wha I thought was the funniest thing where the computer operated toilets. Ya know, the ones that had a little screen and buttons connected to it. My first experience with one was after a night of hard drinkin out in Naha, and I pressed the wrong button and a little arm came out and shot water up my ass, I screamed then laughed my ass off.

BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:15 am

Saint...what theatre do you frequent?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:16 am

Ready, although not a pretty sight...I would.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:17 am

Sexyfit...I just don't have the leg power to endure a 25 minute venture like that.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:20 am

Tiger all the finer gas stations in Indiana have attached outhouses now. Many with fresh corn cobs. A couple even have these really cool stainless steel troughs with running water. Great for sitting in and freshening up!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:21 am

Salz...my campaign is due to launch soon. Start packing.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:22 am

LMAO Freetime...I'm the same way. The difference between us...even in the woods I still hit my pantsleg.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:24 am

MM I'm not sure. Maybe The Funnybone should start booking comics in there??

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:24 am

1Hot...I'm here for the people. Duty has no timeclock.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:27 am

VA...try this one at your next party. A day before the party setup your video camera and get 20 minutes of footage of JUST the toilet area. Then remove the camera. Wait until someone has to use the bathroom. Put the tape in the VCR and instruct everyone to applaud loudly and cheer when they hear the toilet flush. Leave the tape running so they can see it when they return to the room. Shake their hand and compliment their technique.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:29 am

Gem...I'm working out the logistics for setting one up on my blog. Same effect?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:31 am

Spin thank you for the idea! Tear off a bit of my shirt!! Bet that's alot softer than rubbing up and down on a tree trunk.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:33 am

Huny it is my best dance. Requires no rhythum.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:34 am

Efiln...one word son...fiber!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:35 am

Valdrane...did you tip? I know I would have.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
3/21/2006 8:36 am

LOL Polly...I did a Google search and found it...didn't know I was recycling.

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