Here Is What I Learned From Last Weekend. Do NOT Swim In Turd Infested Water!  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/25/2005 7:44 am
Here Is What I Learned From Last Weekend. Do NOT Swim In Turd Infested Water!


I had my youngest daughters this past weekend. They are 14 and 13. Both look much older. Much older. First thing I learned...if you are a father, do not walk behind your teenage daughters. You overhear comments that are most unsettling. I have mentioned before that all 3 of my girls went behind my back and disobeyed me. All 3 grew boobs, all 3 question the world and it's contents, all 3 are angry. Damn that music.

My girls wanted to go swimming this weekend. Who am I to question? After all, I am merely the titular head of the family anyway. They dragged me to Lake Michigan. I know from past experience that the City of Hammond and that area have polluted the water before. Seems nothing has changed. We get to the beach and there are E. coli warnings. Excuse me, doesn't that mean turd water?

I'm sorry, I cannot enjoy a good swim when I'm on the lookout for a possible turd collision. Now, I have nothing against turdlings, I just do not look forward to meeting one in my swimming water. I couldn't stop mumbling the theme song from Jaws. I saw Caddy Shack. I also worried about submerging and coming up with toilet paper hair. Eeew. My kids called me a wuss. There you go. Confirmation from loved ones.

Another thing I learned...deli dried fish taste a whole lot better than the ones on the beach. Less gritty too. Also learned that seagulls can kick your ass. Hitchcock was right.

Another thing I learned...many men in America need to lose the thinking that put them into a Speedo. Dudes, it isn't working. The object here, I think...you are actually supposed to be able to see the Speedo.

Also, sand has changed somehow. I remember walking in the sand when I was a kid. It was really easy. Now it sucks. I sweat, huff and puff, and thank God for string bikinis or I wouldn't have anywhere to stop and rest.

Also picked up some keen fashion tips. Seems that black socks are popular with sandals for guys in my age group this season. So are farmer's tans and frequent rest stops near girls in string bikinis.

All-in-all, I had a fun time...but will try harder to talk them into a movie next time.

[blog talldarkavg1]


nightstogether 56M

7/25/2005 8:33 am

You should try going swimming in some resorts in Turkey; the waste pipes run directly under the beach and into the sea at some of the most popular bathing areas.

Isn't it such a dang when you own daughters grow up? Other peoples older children are fine (and I do mean older), they can wander around in those string bikinis and topless, but our own children ... Boy, am I glad that all my children live with their mothers and that I was merely the provider of a little cream to raise them from the egg stage ...

nightstogether
private-intellectual (.de)


ANewLevel4Us 38M/37F

7/25/2005 8:39 am

Great post! Glad you had a nice weekend. I dread my husband once my twin girls hit their teen years. 10 years to go...


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
7/25/2005 9:38 am

talldark, a turd collision. I am surprised that place is open to the public if it has an E. coli warning, but then again it IS indeed Lake Michigan.

DustStormDiva


cuddleboy69 49M

7/25/2005 10:20 am

hilarious, thanks for the laugh
(ok and the content)


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 10:27 am

Nights...thanks for the heads up! I'll make it a point to remind my girls of this fact if they even hint toward a Turkish beach.

Hmm, I do my best to elevate from sperm donor to father. Hope I'm on course.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 10:27 am

Newlevel...take some advice...start drinking now! LOL

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 10:28 am

Diva my thoughts exactly. #$@! teens never listen! Figures...they take after their mother LMAO

[blog talldarkavg1]


CREAMYPUDDLES 53F
108 posts
7/25/2005 10:29 am

Hilarious.... A wonderful read!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 10:31 am

Frnds...sounds like you were at the same beach!! I was the tall really paranoid guy in yellow that kept spraying himself with Baccitracin.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 10:31 am

Cuddleboy you're welcome. My pleasure.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 10:32 am

My pleasure Jezebelle. Love that name by the way.

[blog talldarkavg1]


hotandhorny107 58F

7/25/2005 10:44 am

Going to have to watch your blogs.. Funny as hell. Be advised that children do that growing up thing all of a sudden. Mine did and lost total communication by age 17. They came to believe that I was born a day ago and it was dark. And I am blonde to boot. Glad to say however, that they returned to my way of thinking by the age of about 22. Good luck


cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
7/25/2005 11:12 am

You ever wonder how many people are pissing in the water you swimming in?


Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 12:34 pm

Thanks Creamy.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 12:36 pm

Thank Hot&horny. Shakespear was right.

I plan on locking them up any day now until they're 22ish.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/25/2005 1:18 pm

None Pete...I don't let anyone use my tub! No exceptions either.

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

7/25/2005 5:57 pm

Wow... I was just at Wahala Beach (in Hammond) last night. I didn't go swimming, just drank some wine & walked barefoot on the shore. But, we were thinking about going skinny-dipping! Glad we decided against it!

]


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
7/25/2005 6:47 pm

You are too funny!! I saw a guy at the bar with black socks and sandals...but i couldnt stop laughing!


leighann4 47F

7/26/2005 1:46 am

My teenaged kids are 15 and 14. Yes my daughter has breasts, which she hates. I bought her a new swimsuit last weekend so she could swim in our pool and the lake. DO NOT SHOP WITH TEENAGED GIRLS!!!! I have decided that from now on I will just give her the money and drop her off at the mall and hope for the best.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/26/2005 6:37 am

F & F...you did well going at night. The fish glow and are easily stepped over.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/26/2005 6:38 am

Bellisima...it was me.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/26/2005 6:40 am

Sexy I didn't hear much of anything. I wore ear plugs, nose plug, a mask, bathing cap, body wrap, and two condoms. I don't take chances.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/26/2005 6:41 am

Leighann I learned that too. Shopping with them is a fate worse than death. Now, before they ask me to go shopping, they hide all my sharp knives.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_CookieLips2 61M

7/26/2005 7:39 am

Turdling? Is that like a turtle head?


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/26/2005 8:27 am

It is Cookie...but much smaller.

[blog talldarkavg1]


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