Helpful Home & Garden Tips Everyone Should Remember  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/29/2005 7:47 am
Helpful Home & Garden Tips Everyone Should Remember


I realize that it is summer and many regions are experiencing very hot conditions and some drought. Keeping that lawn looking green is very difficult right now. Keep in mind, your home takes a beating this time of year too! Here are some tips that will help retain your property value. I scanned the net and came up with these helpful guidelines.

First off, when you need work done around the house, never do it yourself! If you get hurt...who are you going to sue? Always hire someone else. There are restrictions though. Never hire an Amish electrician! Just trust me on this one. Never hire a plumber that doesn't have a butt crack showing. He's hiding something and I just don't trust them. Never hire a carpenter with missing fingers. And if you do...never hold a board for him when he's using a saw.

Lawns take a beating this time of year. You must water often. Odds are there maybe a restriction on watering in your area, or the water rates may be way up. Easily resolved. Hook up to your neighbor's house and use his water. If he catches you and gets upset...next time he leaves his house, run his hose into his mail slot and turn it on.

Never plant magic beans within 25 feet of the house! You risk serious foundation damage a few years from now. OK, remember the movie The Lawnmower Man? Me either.

Go ahead and plant a garden. I know it takes long hours of hard work and lots of money to start and maintain it, but trust me, sooner or later you'll get a vegetable that looks like genitals.

Want a green lawn and can't do any of the above suggestions...simple. Green paint! Touch up every 3 months or so. Hope this helps.

[blog talldarkavg1]


AmberSolaire 42M

7/29/2005 9:25 am

You forgot to mention the cleanup costs and smell of rotting giant when the beanstalk inevitably comes crashing down.It trebles your gnome and garden insurance.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 9:29 am

LMAO Amber. Thanks for the heads up!

[blog talldarkavg1]


AltumHunksUnite 53M

7/29/2005 9:48 am

Ah, painting the lawn green. They've been doing that on football fields for a long time. In the case of Candlestick Park in San Fran, they just paint the dirt green. It fools everyone.

Let me drive. I like the view


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 9:54 am

Good point Cleavis. I forgot to warn homeowners about knee injuries when cutting their astroturf yards.

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Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

7/29/2005 10:30 am

Oh you can't cut astro turf. No wonder my lawn care business went under!


sexyeyes375 47F

7/29/2005 10:32 am

Ahhhh... vegetable humor!!! I was wondering when you were going to get around to this.. I thought I was the only sicko picking vegetables out of my garden chuckling and showing my friends and disgusted kids.. it beats (hehe) replicas of presidencial faces..

this could be a cable show all by itself.. all sorts of names racing through my mind..


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 10:40 am

LOL PNS. Lucky your knees held up!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 10:45 am

Sexyeyes I agree. Too many people overlook their veggies.

Hmm, cable show...what titles struck you?

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ExploreMore4Me 59F

7/29/2005 11:13 am

You are the kid parents warned their kids to stay away from...water hose in mail slots! LMAO...Only you! Well, at least I'm back to laughing again!

Hugs & Kisses!

EM4M


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 11:26 am

EM$M, one tries. My neighborhood was really quiet. Nobody but us.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 11:27 am

EM4M, one tries. My neighborhood was really quiet. Nobody but us.

[blog talldarkavg1]


sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
7/29/2005 5:29 pm

Thanks for the helpful hints...some of them actually work. We filled our swimming pool by hooking the hose up to the house that was being built behind us.... our bad....


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/29/2005 8:01 pm

I don't know about Amish electricians, but I can recommend a good Amish auto mechanic (really!)


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/1/2005 6:16 am

Sincity...LOL glad to see someone else on the ssame page!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/1/2005 6:18 am

OK Jay...how on earth did you find an Amish auto mechanic. Sure he isn't one of those whacky Mennonites?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/1/2005 7:02 am

LMAO Huny...us poor old geezers...out to pasture.

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