Guys Holiday Alert & Gift Solution!  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
15586 posts
10/13/2005 11:48 am
Guys Holiday Alert & Gift Solution!

Gentleman, you do realize that there is a holiday Saturday. It's Sweetest Day. Normally, this type of holiday is just another opportunity for us to disappoint the women who love us by forgetting. Hence this heads up . Stuck for a gift idea? Sure you are. Have no fear compadres...TallCo® is on it.

Our crack R&D department has just finished perfecting the ultimate gift solution. TallCo® R&D Director, Dr. Flicky Dickman Ph.D., M.S., D.D.S., M.D., M.B.A., R.S.V.P., is proud to announce the All New Mr. Buzzophone! That's right, a lifelike battery operated dildo...with sound!

This special friend is incredibly lifelike in every detail. In fact, it's so lifelike that when you're finished...it falls asleep. Cheaper models with sound do not offer the entire Surround Sound experience because during use the sound is muffled. Not our model! We offer headphones!
Not only is it lifelike, not only does it speak to you in Surround Sound...it speaks with any accent you want. Here's what you have at your fingertips...

Italian. International voice over heart throb Luigi Macaroni will delight you with comments like..."Ummm, atsa nice." And, "How you lika my salami?" Also the ever popular, "Ima do dees alla night...joosta for you!"

French. Voice over actor Jean-Paul Peeyou delights the eardrums with..."Haw haw haw...I pop you croissant." The widely known, "Haw haw haw...I use my leeps soon. You get outta Iraq OK?" And, "Haw haw haw...I surrender."

Puerto Rican. Talented singer Boppo Peepo caresses yours ears with, "Aye carumba chica...me gusto ChiChi's." And, "Aye carumba Mamasita, those you hubcaps?"

Arabic. Renowned oil tycoon and major Bush contributor Sheik Machbad Al Hareesh Pahtooie bin Sooliman Jr. whispers, "Uncover you face now. Death to America." And the familiar, "If you gud girel I no crush you head with rock. Death to America."

Hillbilly. Noted C&W voice over artist Travis Z. Butts swoons with..."Dayyyyam gurl! Yer purdier an mah hawg!" Who can resist, "Soon as we're dun...I'm fixin ta shave yer back!"

British. International heartthrob Sir Walton Pierre-Crumpett eloquently paraphrases, "I say...is this pseudo erectile stimulation as such that you may opt to find yourself acquiesced to an orgasm. Or shall I increase the voltage a wee?" OK, you may want to pass on this one.

Hip Hop. American rapper T. Ice Boz swoons with classics like, "Yo bitch! You 'bout done? I got betta shit ta do than hang witch you all day!" Who doesn't melt over, "Sheeeeeet. No thang."

Jamaican. Actor Umbutu Marley teases your ears with, "Hey Mon...you like da Rastafarian boloney?" Everyone's' favorite, "Hey Mon...soon as you finish you bizinez we haf spliff!"

German. Talented screen star Boris Von Putzenslappen lends his skills with, "You vil cum NOW!" Often overheard in his Mother Tongue, "Make mit der vaginslidden fer der waddenpoppen." We love his, "Maken mit der clittenpullen und der nippentuggen und getten der shootenblowen."

Indian. International 7 11/Motel/Donut magnet Apu Apeetapooliehassanarasatakafan tells you, "Oooh, I am thinking you vil cum soon and get back to de register." Who isn't familiar with, "Oooh, when you are finished...you can just turn the sheets over. Who will know?"

Remember guys, here's your chance to shine. Nothing says I care faster than Mr. Buzzophone.


[blog talldarkavg1]


HardlyYours4Now 52M

10/14/2005 7:16 am

You were doing so well, and then I noticed...no Canadian? You could get Pierre Claude saying his famous lines, "Now that's some Canadian bacon, eh?" or "Oh, nice one there. Yah, perrrrfect."

And how could you not include famed Russian voiceover specialist, Boris Meltsin? "Da. You hot woman. Let'd dreenk some wodka," or "I set your babushka on fire, nyet? Let's dreenk some wodka."

I'm always here to help.


ExploreMore4Me 59F

10/14/2005 8:34 am

PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE BEFORE ATTENDING THE CONVENTION! I'M WREELY WRORRIED FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH! And those of us who will be around you!

LMAO! You my friend have lost it! I'm not sure if you ever had or just what exactly it is you had if you did have it! I do know whatever it is that's missing...it is the total cause for your current state!

Hugs & Kisses My Friend!

EM4M

I just want you to know I'm bringing my computer monitor to the convention so YOU can clean all the spewed coffee of the past few months off of it! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! LMAO!


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/14/2005 10:54 am

Lemme know when TallCo Inc develops one that can carry heavy boxes and take out the trash.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/14/2005 2:11 pm

Katey this works out nicely then. We're backordering the Neptune right now.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/14/2005 2:12 pm

Hardly...I am so embarrassed. My first choice was Red Green. I will go to work on correcting this mistake.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/14/2005 2:13 pm

Huny as a VIP member of TallCo® your's will ship overnight. Should be there Tuesday.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/14/2005 3:13 pm

EM4M I have seen a shrink. She became an investor in TallCo® and currently owns 14 of these devils. I am pretty good at cleaning monitors. 2 blog guarantee that it stays clean.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/14/2005 3:14 pm

Sil you had me spitting coffee all over my monitor. That was outstanding...and of course...I replied.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
10/14/2005 3:15 pm

Wahine...have you been secretly in touch with R&D? You gave me goose bumps! We have been working on that model since 1924. No luck yet.

[blog talldarkavg1]


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