FYI .. Sexual Techniques That Drive Women Wild !  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
7/12/2005 9:53 am
FYI .. Sexual Techniques That Drive Women Wild !


Here is the one question that has plagued men throughout the centuries. Why can't I breathe through my penis? Well, I don't know. The number two question is, How do I satisfy her like no other before me ? That one I know.

It's all in the technique. I will share some time-tested secrets of giving her calf cramps unlike any she has ever had. That's right...within minutes of reading this article, you too will have mastered the art of making her toes touch her heels!

First off...ORAL. Here is a sterling opportunity to enter her All Star Hall of Fame . Now guys remember, slow is the key. Start slow, SLOWLY increase the intensity, and finish with a bang. Here's the technique.

Most guys figure that using the tongue on the clitoris is enough. Wrong, mouth of iguana! There is so much more! Her inner thighs are also sensitive. So is the vagina. USE ALL OF THESE AREAS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! Focus the tongue on the opening of the vagina. Here's the secret...flare your nostrils on the clitoris...and wiggle your ears! You have just covered all the bases my friend.

As she becomes more aroused, vary from a slow nostril flare to the advanced Samatha Stevens move. It's tricky, but once mastered it is unforgetable. At the same time, the ears should be wiggled in unison at first, then alternated in latter stages.

Now, the actual orgasm stage requires some pre-act preparation. Secretly hide a steam driven train whistle in the room. As she reaches orgasm...lay on the whistle. We're not talking a quick toot toot here guys...LAY on that puppy. She'll think it's her. She'll swear she saw Jesus. You will become immortal!

One on One intercourse is a snap ... once you know the secret ! Remember slow? Here too. Undress yourself slowly, NEVER break eye contact. As you slide your underwear off your hips...inhale and slightly raise your shoulders. Add a barely perceptable wiggle as they clear the hips.

Walk toward her with your best manly walk, slip into bed, NEVER break eye contact, and slowly undress her. Here is the first secret...begin wrapping her head with duct tape. From the chin to the top, around and around. At first she'll just think it is kinky, but after the third wrap she'll ask what you're doing. Explain, "I don't want the top of your head to blow off!". She'll smile. Begin to KISS! Often, passionately, and everywhere. Once she starts begging you to enter...do so...but partially. Partial is the key here.

Gradually introduce the entire length. Now the final secret...guys do not be afraid to experiment! Attaching a car battery to your testicles can be an experience neither of you will soon forget. The addition of a simple on off switch will send you both to heaven...or a nearby ER. In either case...you're immortal!

With a little effort...you will be a Hall of Famer.

[blog talldarkavg1]


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

7/12/2005 7:08 pm

Stop right there , tell mystic he has to close down his blog,,, this man has taken over in teaching sexual techniques, these ones are a little less , ok ok alot less clinical , and at least not from a virgin,, well maybe from a born again virgin , HELL they are just more believable lol

{=} Blonde


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/12/2005 10:54 pm

Oh yeah, gotta love that twisted kink that is TallDark

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
7/13/2005 12:24 am

I love the car battery idea. I wonder if my toy would blow up if I tried to attach it to the car battery?

DustStormDiva


yellow9252 45M

7/13/2005 2:22 am

Some idiot has to ask this question so it may as well be me; Where does the ear wiggling come in?

I'm also guessing this might not be as effective as truescorpio's technique.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 5:21 am

Blonde in articles to come (pun intended) I will share my vast experience in this arena. For example, did you know that a chilled vibrator can be used when mixing drinks?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 5:21 am

Daphne, I'm looking into rehab

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 7:13 am

Diva, you may have to install a transmission to cover the voltage difference.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 7:15 am

nbtnt...I can actually wiggle just one ear. I taught myself. Yes, in Chicago I will demonstate this useless feat.

[blog talldarkavg1]


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/13/2005 7:32 am

I tried your eye contact advice. My eyes never wavered as I undressed and approached the bed. That is until I tripped over my shoe, half bounced off of a chair, got a rug burn on my knee and landed on my face.

Needless to say I lost eye contact with my partner, but I did discover the source of that awful smell when my eyes made contact with that plate of half-eaten Chinese under the bed.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 7:33 am

The ear thing is done in association with everything else. Inner thighs are often sensitive and in need of attention. If you can't wiggle your ears, placing a vibrator inside your mouth works just as well.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_koocnachtiek 60M
376 posts
7/13/2005 7:40 am

I wish to add that Chevy Chase has nothing on keithcancook. cook is the most uncoordinated human attempting to put one foot in front of the other that has ever walked. (if you can call that walking)

Is this just another trick by keithcancook
to get his text on television?


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 7:44 am

Thanks Keith. Another win-win testimony. By the way...thank you for bringing the newspaper back!

FYI...whenever that happens...always leap to your feet and shout, "Ta dah".

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 9:02 am

LMAO koocnactiek. Does blood rush to your head?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/13/2005 9:10 am

Huny LMAO...a girl woody.another first !

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Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

7/13/2005 10:24 am

What if you wife likes to wear sunglasses ?


fuckmelikumeanit 53F

7/13/2005 12:52 pm

mao...omg u are tooo funny


AmberSolaire 42M

7/13/2005 4:42 pm

But when do I take the socks off?


rm_affbreak 46M
287 posts
7/13/2005 9:35 pm

For all those who can't wiggle with your ears: Attach some vibrating tongue rings to your earlaps and say welcome to hammer drill country!
Btw.: In countries where you could end up in jail for oral sex this would be a near perfect substitute, dont you think?!
====
"The Tiggler Purple Freeze Spikey Vibrating Barbell" <- a must see, lol!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:45 am

Humbold, spend 6 minutes in my company and you'll need someone to take dictation.Look up clutzy in the dictionary. You'll see my photo. Giving the thumbs up of course.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:47 am

N Sex nothing wrong with sunglasses. In my experience, before a woman sleeps with me she wears a blindfold. You're fortunate!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:48 am

I Heart, you are just too sweet! Thank you...and remember to tip your waitress.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:51 am

Katey thank you. I guess I am one of those boneheads who truly loves other people. I clearly realize that I cannot experience a single emotion without the influence of another human being. I just love people.

In real time...LOL. The way I see it is this. If you spend 10 minutes yakking with me...and I didn't make you pee yourself at least twice...I let you down.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:52 am

Meanit thanks. You think this stuff is funny? You should see me naked!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:54 am

Amber use the third date rule. Never take off your socks until the third date. Women hate a slut!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/14/2005 4:56 am

Huny I assure you I have never heard of a girl woody. You have to remember sweetie I am from Indiana. We just heard President Kennedy was shot. Hope he's OK.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/15/2005 5:29 am

Thank you Huny. I am a non-stop source of useless info...however, every now and then I do have my moments of redemption.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/15/2005 5:30 am

Humbold I take the term All Thumbs to a completely new level.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/15/2005 7:16 am

Affbreak...a country that PROHIBITS oral sex?? $%#@^&% commies.

[blog talldarkavg1]


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