Do I Need A Warning Or Should I Just Call My Attorney?  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
15586 posts
8/30/2005 7:11 am
Do I Need A Warning Or Should I Just Call My Attorney?

Last night I had to go to WallyWorld's photo department to have a couple of 8x10's made. Normally this practice is foolish, but after looking at the photo I decided it couldn't possibly get screwed up any worse. It was a family portrait of a rather unattractive clan. And when I say unattractive...you getting the picture? We're talking unattractive.

Anyway, while I was waiting I decided to go browsing. What I discovered was the impetus for this blog. In my search for Truth, Justice, and the American Way (I just realized...what if Superman's space ship was off a few degrees? He may have been SuperAbdulah. Fighting the infidels...oops, got sidetracked). Anyway, I started reading some product labels. Yikes.

I understand that here in the U.S. we love our lawyers. Yep, look crosseyed at me and if I don't jump out and kick your ass, I'll sue it. I also realize that we need product warnings to remove responsibility of the manufacturer in case of a lawsuit. However...when is enough enough? Here are some actual warnings I encountered.

LAWNMOWER: Do not stick hands or feet into chute while mower is running. Blades are turning while mower is running. Wait a minute! This DOES NOT mention anything about my dick! The vibration...hmmm.

STROLLER: Caution: Remove child from stroller before folding. Hmm, what about before I push it down a flight of stairs?

CLOTHING IRON: Do not iron clothes while wearing. While wearing what? A hat? A necktie? Boots? I'm no mind reader you know.

CHILDREN'S COUGH SYRUP: Caution: may cause drowsiness. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery. This is stupid. What about my helicopter? Can they still fly my chopper?

HAIR DRYER: Do not use while in shower. Why not? Bathrooms all have a ground fault circuits.

There are many many more. At the point I just stopped reading this stuff something dawned on me! Hey...wait a minute. These warnings are designed to remove liability because some people are stupid, will do something stupid, and sue. We are going about it all wrong kids. If you protect them...you'll have to keep on protecting them.

How about this? Remove all warnings...from everything. In a week or two...the stupid people will all be dead. No more warnings! Geez, you'd think the government would have figured this out.


[blog talldarkavg1]


redmustang91 57M  
8657 posts
8/30/2005 8:28 am

The warnings are there so the companies don't lose failure to warn cases. If the hair dryer is defective consumer can still win. And many older bathroom do not have ground fault circuits!


hourglasses 47F

8/30/2005 8:30 am

My mom sent me this one. It comes from the Foodsaver she got for her birthday. For anyone who doesn't know, its like the Daisy Seal-a-Meal from the 70's. But its improved in that it sucks all the air out of the package before sealing it.

To prevent possible injury, do not apply the hose, canister lid, universal lid, jar sealer, or any other accessory to any part of the body while vacuum pump is in operation.

I guess they knew without this disclaimer, some guy would try to use it to give himself a powerful blow job.

I agree, Darwinism rules


xx_44DD_xx 51F

8/30/2005 9:09 am

You double posted, which one do I reply to? *confused look*

Anyways..........

My all time favorite has to be the moron who spilled coffee on herself, then sued McDonalds!! Brilliant... now all the cups have to read 'caution contents hot.'

She's still a moron but, she's a very rich moron.

p.s. I'm a court tv FANATIC..... there is a trial right now. The babysitter bought 54 bottles of benadryl from Costco. The baby died from an overdose, she's on trial for the murder. I'll give you ONE guess who she is suing....... YUP!! Costco!! No warning label.


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
8/30/2005 9:17 am

Even when a person is ill you manage to make them laugh. I appreciate you so much. I have often wondered who wrote the warning labels on these items. Kepp up the good blogs, TDA

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


rm_jacexprime2 40M
67 posts
8/30/2005 9:36 am

That's the best idea I've heard all week!


TakesTeatsStood 50M
505 posts
8/30/2005 9:36 am

A la Bill S. - The first thing we do let’s kill all the lawyers.


AltumHunksUnite 53M

8/30/2005 9:41 am

There are so many warnings nowadays that they dedicate several pages to them in the owner's manual because a label ain't big enough to hold them anymore.

What's also funny are the yellow warning stickers with cartoon characters playing out the potential risks... electrocution, fingers getting crushed, falling off a ladder for standing on the top step, etc.

Let me drive. I like the view


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
8/30/2005 9:41 am

This is actually good!


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 10:26 am

Mustang thank you. So if I do NOT have a ground fault...not in the shower? I got it. Can I still use it if I have one foot in the toilet?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 10:33 am

Hourglass...NOW you tell me!

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 10:43 am

Cleavis good point. Since they use universal characters it would imply this is a worldwide dilemma. Remove them all I say.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 10:44 am

Thank you interested. I must confess though...the law of averages was with me.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 11:30 am

44DD everything I have written today posted anywhere from2 to 4 times. This one slipped through the cracks and I didn't catch it until there were comments on both. You did just fine. Hmmm...wonder if I have a suit here? I don't remember seeing a multiple post warning.....

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 11:32 am

Straightten you don't feel well? I'm sorry. You know...ol' Dr. Tall has these remedies LOL....

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 11:32 am

Jace it has to start somewhere! Why not Blogville?

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DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/30/2005 11:33 am

Nothing beats the warning labels on medications. Funny how the possible side-effects from taking 2 Tylenol for a headache can possible put you in a coma.

Well, at least your head won't be hurting anymore. (shrugs)


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 11:34 am

Nick...a good start. Insurance companies are a close second.

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rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/30/2005 11:52 am

They could make it fun for all of us and declare a hunting season for stupid people.

44DD, that woman with the coffee was from here. What most stories don't elaborate on was that she took the damn lid OFF before placing the cup between her legs and driving out into traffic. Well, duh, just after you leave the drive-up window you have to make a quick right onto a busy street.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_CookieLips2 61M

8/30/2005 1:02 pm

Hey TDA, print off a couple of 8 X 10's at WallyWorld? Who are you kidding? As creative as you are with your pictures on your blogs I know you could just whip out a picture right at home. My guess is that it was "singles night" and you just had to go see, right?


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/30/2005 3:00 pm

DT I believe medical warning labels. I took some stuff a few years back and I still cannot operate heavy machinery worth a shit.

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rm_Balanon2 49M
193 posts
8/30/2005 3:35 pm

TDA- I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. Expect to hear from attorney soon!


madkitten 53F
291 posts
8/30/2005 4:30 pm

The allegy ones always amaze me.

On a packet of nuts - product includes nuts.

Ordinary pasturised milk - product contains dairy produce.


nedthebundler 56M/59F

8/30/2005 7:58 pm

TDA,

It truly is a sad, sad world we live in when lack of common sense can make you a millionaire.

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
8/31/2005 12:03 am

on lighter fluid:
CAUTION: FLAMMABLE MIXTURE Do not use near fire or flame
gee what did I pick up that lighter fluid for anyway? OH YEAH so I could light something on FIRE!!! LOL sorry


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/31/2005 12:23 pm

LOL Cookie every now and then I have a weak moment. Come to think of it...each time has cost me alimony.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/31/2005 12:24 pm

ROFLMAO Ban...now we're even.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/31/2005 12:25 pm

Kitten our own uselessness is truly amazing. Are we really that dumb?

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/31/2005 12:26 pm

Ned where were you when I was signing up for college? If I knew that dumber was richer...geez.

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rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
9/1/2005 11:50 am

ST they also need to include the warning that firebreathers are professionals. Could have saved my eyebrows a few years back!

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