Another Plot Uncovered...Taliban Is In Big Trouble Now!  

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
posts
8/12/2005 9:46 am
Another Plot Uncovered...Taliban Is In Big Trouble Now!

My sources have revealed yet another very clever government ploy in the war against terrorism in the Middle East.

Seems the CIA has enrolled thousands of flying squirrels and trained them in a secret base just outside Knobslap Arkansas. These squirrels have received the same training as the Elite Special Forces units and will be airlifted next week.

The methodology is ingenious. As you know, the Taliban wear sandals. Hence the need for the squirrels. These tiny freedom fighters will fly themselves into the hidden Taliban bases and then quietly inflict heavy toe damage on the enemy. Once their toes have been attacked they will be unable to run, walk, or fight. They will be forced to remain sedentary and will eventually succumb to heart disease. Very clever indeed.


[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 11:57 am

Valleyrat I do remember the FDR era. Dancing in the streets, pointy bras, flying monkeys. Ahhh how I miss those days. This one isn't a Haliburton scam though. I am certain of that. If they would have been involved the training camp would have been in Texas.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/12/2005 12:09 pm

LMAO Anemone...you hit on a secret passion of mine. I will confess here and now..."I have nearly worn out my DVD of Rocky & Bullwinkle." The one with Robt DeNiro, Rene Russo, Jason Alexander, et al...great stuff.

[blog talldarkavg1]


kyplowboy2 61M

8/12/2005 12:25 pm

Inadvertently pulled up your profile...don't think we'll be takin' anymore warm showers together, though. Could be incestous...I think we might be clones. Heard anything from your test tube lately?...me niether, I guess the girl finally broke.

kpb2


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
8/12/2005 12:58 pm

I think they would be more likely to pass out after they see how cute they look in their little army outfits. That tiny hand held rocket launcher is adorable.


rm_songbird5419 62F
305 posts
8/12/2005 3:38 pm

tall, there's help on the way for the little furry guys!

Leave it to the ELITE Special Forces..

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new
500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).

These North Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas, and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK.

If you are strong and push through the pain and the fear, you often find that happiness is waiting for you on the other side.


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
8/12/2005 3:49 pm

They kilt Earnhardt! Where my gun at them sums of bitches is gonna pay!
The South will rise agin!


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


lifeisablast333 53M

8/12/2005 3:55 pm

hey songbird 5419, thanks for the info, it's just like them folks from arkansas to go off and have all that fun and not tell us okies.....so i'm going to tell thier secrect, they invented the tooth brush, thats correct the tooth brush.... and i can prove it....if it had been invented anywhere else it would be called a teeth brush...thats a rednecked fact, but i don't think them there fellers over there is goin to taste like chicken, prob more like goose, it's greaser.............


lifeisablast333 53M

8/12/2005 3:59 pm

talldarkavg, hope them boys at the cia do better than they did with that whole bay of pigs thing, got a buddy that is a gov employee, he asks why i don't trust them, so i tell him like it is, ya'll can't even fix a potthole right, and you want me to trust you with the big stuff.........


14u24me34all 51M
235 posts
8/12/2005 4:46 pm

Not to mention a squirrel's natural penchant for stealing Nuts in any
theater of operation...


leo_angel43 55F

8/12/2005 5:58 pm

You sure that wasnt slapknob, arkansas? I think thats just up the road from me.....lol


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
8/12/2005 6:06 pm

Don't squirrels eat nuts???


slamminscott 46M

8/12/2005 7:53 pm

wow...what's next? Killer rabbits?


rm_Network_Minx 47F
542 posts
8/13/2005 2:45 am

I work on an army post and I have seen them in training. Their accuracy is amazing.

NM


LoveHandles686 68M

8/13/2005 9:05 am

I'm feeling kind of bad right now. I ran over a potential recruit last night. I tried to stop but it was too late. You know, on second thought he may have been a Taliban Squirrel on a suicide mission, he seemed to almost leap under the tires of my truck.


rm_mieze626 52F
145 posts
8/13/2005 1:56 pm

i discovered not to long ago that they had a secret training facility in my attic. i had to protest and shiped them to my neighbor. he is the one with the kitchen anyway....a huge pecan tree {=}


rm_randybirch 43M/45F
49 posts
8/13/2005 11:08 pm

You know those squirrels!!!! Great post....ok since people were bringing up old cartoons, I guess George of the Jungle wouldnt do to well huh? GREAT PICS of the squirrels!!!

I just gotta say it, babe what is UP with your tank? are you in front of a fence or PLEASE dont tell me you have mesh on...unless you are clinging onto the late 70's into the 80's, i guess I can let it pass!!! I still have my stretch black jeans, thigh hi boots and all that stuff. But the Jersey Girl hair went...LMAO!! Those were the days...

luv on ya!!

later..

Lux


noh8r 62M
4 posts
8/14/2005 12:43 am

Although the arming and deployment of these squirrels seems like a great idea, I am concerned about 'unintended consequences.'

By providing them with thousands of tiny armaments, we are risking a proliferation of WTD's: Weapons of Tiny Destruction. Many of these WTD's will inevitably find their way onto the black market, and they will be used by terrorists against us.

It is estimated that 90 percent of our troops in Iraq are wearing boots that have not been 'up-armored,' and are therefore vulnerable to damage from WTD's.

What is worse, our Homeland's borders are extremely porous to smuggling of teeny-sized weapons. A relatively small amount of WTD's, once it falls into the hands of terrorists, could be strategically deployed by fanatics to literally hobble the leaders of our government, and the captains of our industries. Even allowing that half of those affected would still be mobile, through the use of stretch-limos and sedan-chairs, the drag effect on our economy and government functioning would become noticeable in as little as 50 years.

Clearly, the only way we can protect ourselves from the threat of these WTD's falling into the hands of terrorists, is to initiate another round of pre-emptive strikes against Afganistan and Iraq.


Me4_3 63M

8/14/2005 1:18 am

Does the CIA not communicate with the Pentagon??? It is my understanding that in New Mexico the Army is training jackalopes for a similar mission! Those little beasts are more inclined to gore the shins of the enemy, also very painful!


frbnkslady 48F
6183 posts
8/14/2005 1:32 am

ROLFMFAOOOOOO, OMG, thank you all for the laughs, I REALLY needed these after the week I have had...
It is really rough here in town right now.. we have been deploying our people for last 2 weeks, and another group in the monring, and more on Wed. 3000 going out.. not a happy time here...So THANK YOU all for the laughs.. ..isn't it the shits.. I am crying now, writting this... T

T




LoveHandles686 68M

8/14/2005 6:49 am

I'ts clear now, there is definately a Taliban counter-squirrel unit here in Virginia Beach. This morning, two of the tires on my truck were chewed completely off the wheels.


Sweetcox69 47M

8/14/2005 5:21 pm

LMAO ... Up here we have a Top Secret (Don't tell anyone I told you although these Top Secrets are only Secret from the citizens of a country that is keeping them secret) force of highly trained Procupines, Skunks, Beavers and Canada Geese that function as a precision unit to first render the enemy helpless with an all out attack by the skunks followed by disablement from Porcupine quills and then the Beavers move in to knaw away at the foundations of an enemy building (if the enemy happens to be in one) in order to bury them in the rubble of their collapsed structure. It they are not in a building several squadrons of Canada Geese are called in to carpet bomb the enemy with Goose shit. We bombard everyone left standing with hockey pucks and Molson Canadian empties. Now you know why the U.S. has never tried to invade Canada.


five_speed 41M

8/15/2005 5:13 am

Can they fit the squirrels with laser beams on thier heads, "Dr. Evil" style? How do you say "Are those frikkin squirrels with frikkin laser beams on thier frikkin heads?" in Afghani?


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 10:58 am

kpb2 don't make me roll up a newspaper here and swat ya. That last soap episode has made me really paranoid!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:00 am

Saint don't sell these little warriors short. They're highly skilled toe asassins. (in Yoda voice) Reak havoc they will, yes.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:03 am

LMAO Songbird...sure it will end the Iraq thing...but since when did we actually want to end a war? You know...this move will also cause thousands of reprocussions throughout the animal kingdom. Strikes, excessive kitty litter kicking, fish not biting. Oh the humanity.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:05 am

Luke...deep brathing. They killed LeRoy Earnhart. Nobody liked him anyway!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:06 am

LOL life...I'm writing this stuff down.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:08 am

life...the gov caused the pothole! Testing those mini grenades for the squirrels. The cleanup is the State's responsibility.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:09 am

14u...I think Nut Nabbage is in direct violation with the Geneva Convention.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:10 am

It is Leo...sorry for the typo. #$@% government typists.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:11 am

Usually Bella they do. These elite fighting machines are all avowed vegitarians.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:12 am

Scott...ah the rabbits are too preoccupied with Trix. They have such one-track minds.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:14 am

Rascal even my reporters were forbidden to photograph the coffins. It was so sad to see all of those tiny little shoe boxes lined up in rows.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:18 am

NM that's is exactly why they chose squirrels. They don't mess around like beavers or weasels. Damn weasels.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:19 am

Lovehandles it probably was. We have not yet had a single AWOL!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:20 am

mieze...your place was the breeding research center...sorry.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:24 am

JEZ...never, not one time, have I even remotely implied that I am anything less than totally insane. Good to see my work recognized. Thanks sweetie!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:31 am

Randy who doesn't love a squirrel? As far as my tank...the logo says WOWII. This was for a Fox Special of the same name and I am standing in front of one of the sets. It totally sucks to be me.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:34 am

Noh...you work for Bush don't you? Come on...fess up. I think I saw you at the last press conference on the 700 Club.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:35 am

Me the jackalope project was abandoned. Our troops kept fragging them, mounting the heads and sending them back home.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:36 am

T...you're welcome. Always a pleasure to lend a hand in making a lady pee herself.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:38 am

Lovehandles...there you go...stereotyping. Let me guess...next I'll hear that all squirrels have rhythum, they are shifty and a draw on the economy, taking all the good jobs. OK, all that may be true...but it wasn't our squirrels that did it.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:40 am

Sweet I suspected as much. I watch Dudley DoRight you know.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/15/2005 11:42 am

5 speed it's, "Dirka dirka mohammed jihad." according to my sources in the World Police.

[blog talldarkavg1]


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