This time of year.....  

rm_talktame44 56M
43 posts
12/31/2005 8:51 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

This time of year.....


The holiday season.....a time for relection. A time to to look into the crystal ball and wonder what will be. This season has been somewhat difficult for me and causes me to reflect on my life. I seem to fluctuate these days between good and bad....what I want vs what I have. Life's complex decisions amplified. I'm at point in my life where some would say this to be "mid-life crisis" I don't buy that. Maybe I'm suddenly aware of my own mortality....see the clock ticking and wonder if I'm living life....or just surviving. I can't say that my life is terrible.....I have many things and people around me....but sometimes find myself alone in crowd of people. I am sure there's more than just this. Most people would never know the inner turmoil that is my life these days....I look "fine"....but the times when all the excess noise and activity is stripped away....I seem to settle into this place of confusion. I wrestle with the demons....or perhaps angels ...that seek to pull me one way or another..... To usher me along one particular path or another....
This may be a time of reflection but increasingly I find it a time of uncertainty.....I keep looking for answers but find only more questions. Perhaps that I have these questions verifies that I am indeed alive and living life. All I know is that I crave clarity.....some defining moment to point the way. I don't like this state of not knowing....

rm_ValentinD_K 47F

1/1/2006 10:42 am

Holiday Season...it could be amazing as well as confusing...Resolutions, did we really make once that must be achieved? The time of the year, that we need to realize that if we don't know where we are going..we will never gonna get there.
Been around many people doesn't always means that you are not alone....and as somebody wrote: " We all live under the same sky...but we DO NOT all have the same horizon." I must agree with that and what I could say is that there is little difference in people- but that little difference make a big difference. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative....so dear friend choose to be around the first ones.....


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