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One of My life's Up's and Down's
One of My life's Up's and Down's
I was Married for 5 years then I left due to problems with my ex's daughter from previous relationship. Now we have been separated for 3 years and life is still full of up's and down's.
It started with me just getting away for some 'space'. I knew the relationship was over, but tried to kid myself. The only person that we were hurting was our son.
We agreed that the marriage was over and we stayed apart. But, boy, did I have a hard time. Threats, rumors that usual stuff and also the CSA. On the bright side though. A few months later, I met someone through a friend and even though I didn't want to get involved with anyone yet, we got together. From day 1 she knew about my past and was very supportive.
The threats I go were designed to stop me from seeing my then 3 year old son. Saying that she was going to get in touch with Social Services and the other usual emotional blackmail shit.
The beginning of the following year, I went on my first holiday in nearly 10 years. Because I told my ex that I was going on a course, she stopped me from seeing my son for 3 weeks. Needless to say, with the emotions running haywire, stress and everything else from daily working life, I had a huge bout of depression and had a breakdown and was off work for 16 weeks. My new partner was brilliant throughout all of this.
Over the next few months, I went for access rights to my son and spent nearly 18 months going in and out of court to prove that I was fit to have my son. It started out at 3 hours a week. This has now ended at 24 hours a week.
The arguing between my ex and I was horrific. Everything under the sun was mentioned and the bitterness was there for all to see.
As the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining. Well, we are now able to speak, can even have a coffee at each others house now. That only leaves 1 person. What has all this done to the little one.
I can tell you, it has been extremely hard on him. He saw the arguing, back stabbing and the lies. He hated me and loved his mum. Can't take that away from him, he's with her for 6 days of the week. Sometimes, he trusts me, then he doesn't. Again, I can't blame him, I was hardly there.
It is now better between my son & I. He enjoys coming to stay and he has a great time. 1 thing still hurts though, it always will, and that is when he's staying at my house and he wants comforting, who does he want? His mum.
Life goes on. It has too. If it doesn't, then where's the men in the white jackets with the extra 1 for me. I laugh and joke about it, it could be worse. There are a lot of men (and women) in similar situations but also a lot worse off. All I can say is, keep smiling and keep going. If it hurts, then your still alive and kicking.
I would do anything to see my son, and I proved that to my ex. Luckily, she backed down.
If you read this and are in a similar situation, then I hope this has helped.
8/24/2005 11:25 am
Thanks for sharing that, sir ... it can sometimes seem as if you are alone when dealing with this kind of sh*t yet so many of us have gone through a version of the same. I was lucky, I admit, but it has still been less than trouble-free.|
I'm just glad that your story is developing a happy ending.
9/8/2005 3:41 pm
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that...but the key words here are "I would do anything to see my son." That shows the type of man you are...good luck to you and to your son.|