The mind finds possibilities  

rm_stardreamer3 64M
5 posts
2/26/2006 12:08 am

Last Read:
5/15/2007 10:17 pm

The mind finds possibilities

I had one post, erased it, it was inane. This may not be better, but it is honest.

I had a lover. No, not true. Could have been, maybe should have been. But the chase became all consuming. Here was a great friend. She had a marriage that was not loving. She needed a man who cared about her, she called herself a trophy wife. She is beautiful.

We had our provocative phone calls. Hinting that we each needed an affair. Finally, we decided to meet. God, I felt like a teenager who tried to bang a girl but we could not go to each other's homes. We actually parked in a hospital parking lot (groan). Started to neck. Hearts started racing, her breathing deepened as she became aroused. She started moaning. I opened her blouse and started massaging her breast. She exclaimed surprise, but let me go on. Leaned closer to me. Suddenly, people started walking nearby. Killed it all. We went home, promising to try again.

But then the drive to make love to her took over. That is all I could think about, all my conversations were plans to get her to where I could seduce her and make love to her. There were no conversations about her day, it was about getting her alone. I wish I could say I came to my senses. Here was a wonderful friend, and I could only see her as someone to seduce to be my sex partner. I broke it off. It was a stupid excuse. I hurt her. She did not understand. Truthfully, I did not either for a couple months after. I knew I was trying to take advantage of her (shudder).

Tried to find her since, but cannot. You only get one chance with a friend.

So I continue to look for a friend or friends who will meet me to fill a sexual vacuum we feel at home. There are many men like me, probably not many women, so I know chances are slim. But hopefully she is out there, someone who is attached, does not mind me being attached, and who needs to feel someone who wants to love her for the person she is. I won't screw it up this time. I want that friend.

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