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Found my wife naked in bed
Found my wife naked in bed
It has been years since we had sex. I love her, and usually we spend evenings together, but tonight happened to watch separate shows. We were watching TV in different rooms. She slipped upstairs unknown to me. Was not too long before I realized she was gone, and followed her, expecting no more than to slip into my comfy t-shirt and shorts. Found her in bed, leaned over to kiss her goodnight.
She was naked. Kissed me back, telling me she waited like this before and wanted to cuddle. Took me about 5 seconds to tear my clothes off and I was with her. Oh, to feel her skin against my skin was wonderful. Rubbed her back, rubbed her ass. Slipped down and sucked her nipple which hardened to my tongue. Her breathing became deeper. Her body strained and moved to my touch.
When I trailed my fingers between her legs, upward to her pussy, she stopped me.
"I am tired". I tried to stimulate her, tried to roll her over, tried kissing her ear, her neck to no avail.
Tell me again those of you who refuse to hear us who are married and ask to give and receive comfort. Could it really be cheating on someone who declines to engage in sex? Is not cheating having sex not only with your spouse but with others? If the spouse declines, does she have the right to impose celibacy?
Would never show her up, but I for one need to make a woman sexually happy, any woman friend.
12/24/2006 1:50 am
Your question, "could it really be cheating ..." is a fair one. The first and obvious answers is, if you engage in a sexual relationship outside of your marriage, yes it's cheating. However, I think she's cheating in a certain manner, too.
A woman who waits for you in bed, naked, tells you she's been waiting for you lead you to believe she wanted intimacy. She lets you massage her, suckle her nipples (which respond to your touch), and she obviously became aroused from your description. Suddenly, she stops you and says, "she's tired?"
Clearly she wanted some sexual contact and she got it from a husband happy and all too eager to provide it. When she stopped you after she got what she wanted, she cheated you, but I think she also cheated herself. She was also cruel.
I won't condone your seeking a sexual relationship outside of your marriage. I understanding completely. It would be hard not to from my point of view. Everyone deserves to be love both emotionally and physically.
Stop and think about your sexual relationship and when things began to change. What signals or clues did she give you, if any? Think about those. Did she subtly tell you she was having a problem, that she needed something different? If she didn't, then you might want to do some serious thinking about that time and see if you can figure anything out. If she's gone through, or is going through menopause, that could be the answer right there. The hormonal changes in a woman's body run the gamut during this time. Menopause can cause a woman to completely lose interest in sex. But, it doesn't mean she has to completely eliminate sex from her life. Her doctor can prescribe medication to stimulate certain hormones, mostly testosterone; to help brings things back to normal. Try talking to her and see if she's talked to or is willing to talk to her doctor about these issues. If she is, ask to go with her. If she refuses and continues to withhold sex, then you're back to your original issue. Have you tried marriage counseling? If she won't go with you, go by yourself.
If you love her as you say, then you have to decide if you love her enough to stay in a marriage where your physical needs are not met. Write your feelings down on a piece of paper with one column of Pros/Good and another for Cons/Bad. After you write down your feelings, go back and add a number, (1-10) to put a weight to each of those feelings, then add them up. If the good outweighs the bad, then stay in the marriage and try to make the best of it, even if that means seeking a sexual relationship with someone else. If the bad outweighs the good, then find a good divorce lawyer.
Bear in mind, however, that a relationship with another woman could open up a entirely new can of worms. What if she falls in love with you and wants more? What if you fall in love with her and want more? What if your wife finds out about your relationship. Are you prepared for one or more of those things to happen? This is a complicated issue and definitely a double-edged sword.
Good luck in your journey down this difficult path.
Don't waste your time on a man who is isn't willing to waste his time on you.
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