still depressed  

rm_starbowler2 52M
49 posts
7/20/2005 10:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

still depressed


Its wednesday night at 12:30 am.......earlier in the day I drove my mom and brother butch to the airport,they are going to pittsburg till monday.....they wanted me to go with but I just did not feel like it.......I am still depressed and feeling sorry for myself.But we deserve to do that once in a while...don't we??? I just do not like being 41 and alone :'( .With all my friends and family and activities that I have going on.....its weird how alone I feel.I miss my Ruth so much,I wish she was still here!!! Well,on friday.......it will be one year since my dad died........a whole year,wow!! feels just like last week.Now I am here in this big house all alone and I feel just like ending it,to get out of this funk I feel and have been feeling for a long time.......wonder if anyone would really miss me if I did.I know that the only thing that keeps me from doing that right now...is my mom (yes,I am a mommiesboy).If it wasn't for my mom,I'd have done it a long time ago.I just can not shake this feeling of dispair and lonelyness.

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