Four Years Later, Already.....  

rm_smosmof2 67M
963 posts
8/11/2006 1:00 am

Last Read:
8/11/2010 9:14 pm

Four Years Later, Already.....

A couple of weeks ago now, I was thinking about obituaries, and what it would be like to be able to read your own...to see what bullshit the world was going to tag you with on your way out the door...

My best friend had been a senior librarian at UCLA for over 30 years when he retired. As part of the requirements for his profession, he became involved in the SLA--Specialized Libraries Association, and participated in their annual conference in June. He ran it one year, but mostly he ran the Hospitality Suite. Supplied drinks and snacks to the attendees, that sort of thing....

I'm told there was weeping at UCLA when his death was announced there. I'm well able to believe it, and I'm sure he never would have. The science fiction club web page put up an "in memoriam" page where people were able to post memories. There were posts from all over the country, all over the world, that was no surprise. Fandom has spread all the way around the world. (There have already been three worldcons in Australia, half a dozen in Europe, and next year for the first time, the worldcon goes to Tokyo...) What was the surprise was the number of posts that were not from the science fiction community, they were from the librarians, and the conference people who only saw him once a year. And it was wonderful to discover that they had all experienced the same delightful sense of humor, that well read background of knowledge, that sense of fun-to-be-around that I so loved.

He was a thanatophobe, so it's just as well that he never knew what hit him... His wife's description was that he fainted, and the paramedics were unable to revive him. Cause of death was determined to be a pulminary embolism.

I haven't been the same person for over four years now. He would have been 70 today......and I can't even begin to figure out what he'd have thought of all that was written about him afterwards.....

and if it were my obituary, I can't imagine what anybody would put in it.....



curiousinlorain7 59F

8/11/2006 3:29 am

A great loss to the world.. one of the sexiest men is no longer with us... because smart is sooo sexy on you... If there was a place to memorialize you... you bet those pages would be full, and that's just from people here.. I can't imagine how many in 'real life' you've touched without knowing it... big hug


rm_smosmof2 replies on 8/11/2006 11:02 am:
Thank you for thinking so.... I'd like to be able to think that... However, I suspect that it's more likely that the next wave through will wipe out all traces of my existence....

moonlightphoenix 45F
6508 posts
8/11/2006 3:49 pm

First...you're not going anywhere soon...got it??!!

Second...I'm very sorry about the loss of your friend. I've never had to experience deep loss yet, so I can't say I even remotely know how you feel. But I can imagnine.

The best tribute anyone can hope for is to be remembered fondly.

I'm quite sure there are at least a few who will remember you fondly.

No worries.


rm_smosmof2 replies on 8/11/2006 7:07 pm:
Actually, I've been quite fortunate in terms of major losses--both of my parents are still alive, for example... I think that's part of why I was so unprepared for his death...

I was also so sudden, although looking back, I can see lots of signs that something was coming, I just didn't understand what they meant...

jadedbabe78 105F

8/11/2006 5:01 pm

In most cases, people never perceive themselves as how others do. I've always wanted to ask a few friends to write an obit about me....just to see what they'd say.

You'd be amazed at who remembers you, what they remember. It can be things you long forgot that may have stuck with someone through the years.


rm_smosmof2 replies on 8/11/2006 7:11 pm:
Chalk me up as one of those totally incapable of being able to understand how others perceive me....

If anybody remembers anything about me at all, that would almost be shock enough to resuscitate me......

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