rm_smis4u 57F
28 posts
6/13/2006 4:38 pm

Last Read:
4/28/2007 3:58 pm


I have been married for 20 years. Some of those years have been quite good, some not so good.
My husband is a good man but for what ever reason has lost total interest in sex. For a long time this didn't bother me, then recently I was brought back to life. I feel like Sleeping Beauty and I was kissed awake by my Prince Charming. I am not looking to leave my husband. I married him for life and that is how it is going to stay. Since I have been brought back to life I have realized what I have been missing, and it is all I think, sex, sex.
I always thought that I would never cheat on my husband. I have since learned to never say the word "never". Things happen and for me it was the best thing that has ever happen. I do not feel guilty for breaking my marriage vows because as far as I am concerned my husband broke his end of the marriage vows along time ago when he stopped having sex with me.
As much as I don't feel guilty, I don't want my husband to ever find out about my side line activities, he would never understand.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? I would love to know that I am not alone out here.

2375 posts
6/13/2006 5:23 pm

I am in the EXACT same situation! I was faithful for 14 years. We had not had sex in about a year at that point due to meds he takes. We've now been married 16 1/2 years, and I've learned to look elsewhere for my pleasure. It would kill him to find out, and I will never leave him. I love him, I wish he were still interested, but I understand his lack of desire. However, I'm not dead and was missing out on a wonderful sex life. I've made many friends here and some are in similar situations. You're not alone! Best of luck!


6/13/2006 5:30 pm does sound like you feel guilty. Thus, the need to obtain approval from other cheaters, so you will feel better about what you are doing. Unless you had some really peculiar marriage vows, there is nothing in them about providing sex. There is however, a part that says you'll stand by each other "for better or worse".

mailmantrouser2 53M
534 posts
6/13/2006 5:40 pm


Now, for the times that you cannot sleep, either because you did not get enough sexual attention today or because you are still excited from the attention you did get, just follow the directions:

Lie back and spread your legs. Start playing with your sensitive nipples and imagine that I am there, lying with my head between your thighs, under your nightgown, if you wear one. Gues what I am going to do! Yes, my thumbs separate your lips, exposing the pink inside of your pussy and your clitty, still untouched, but not for long. My equally pink tongue goes to work (or, really, play) and begins to stroke up and down the center of your groove, wetting the parts that are not wet already. I am then licking your pink pussylips, so soft and pliable under my tongue. Up and down, up and down, licking you, tracing our folds, feeling them getting a little wetter and taking in the aroma wafting up from your pink cunt. I inhale deeply as I continue my journey exploring your intimate parts, now spread open for me so widely, almost I would say, obscenely, but between us obscene is just a word. Our bodies have no secrets for each other and certainly not when we both are enjoying these caresses. And I know what you enjoy: a thorough tongue and mouth and lips treatment of all you want to expose to me between uour legs. And that is what you will get, to your hearts content. I can tell that your pink clit is beginning to swell. My hands are still on the inside of your thighs, keeping them apart so I can enjoy eating you, while my thumbs separate the important parts, so they are ready for licking, and sucking. Your pink clit is getting more attention now, my tongue lifting it until it stands on attention by itself, like a proud sentry guarding the entrance to your pink pussy. Of course, it will guard it only as long as you feel it necessary. It will not bar my tongue from entering wherever it wants, because you like it to go into your pink fuckhole and root around as mcuh as possible, as deep as it can reach. And it certainly would not bar a good hot, hard, stiff and pink cock from taking complete possession of you. But for now, I am applying my lips and kissing your tender parts, and sucking up your delicious honey. The honey that keeps flowing in ample quantities, lubricating you in expectation on that wonderful pink cock you keep dreaming of. Keep dreaming, Caressmewell, and I will keep up the ministrations of my mouth between your legs. Caressing every part of your so caressable pink pussy, the pink pussy that is getting wetter and hotter all the time, as long as you feel my tongue stroking you, licking you, curling around you, and my lips sucking you, sucking your pink clit making it swell even more, getting harder, needing more and more passionate tongue touches, being fed by the electric connection with your nipples being stroked by your fingers. I shall keep this up until your are bucking up and down and I hear your crying out 'no more, nor more' and even then I shall continue caressing you, until I am sure that your are completely satified.

You may have alittle problem climaxing this way the first time, and you will want to use your fingers to help you get off, at first, but if you practice this faithfully and often, you will succeed in coming and coming and coming without the use of your fingers between your legs.

Please tell me how it went . . . In great detail . . .

Call me MAILMAN (I deliver)

rm_ohsolustful 57M
859 posts
6/13/2006 5:49 pm

I am in a similar position, however my interest in sex never went to sleep at all. It has just been put on hold through no choice of my own. I don't know if I can get through the guilt thing though. That is a very hard one for me, almost as hard as the almost constant stiffer I am stuck with. I swear, sometimes all it takes is a slight breeze to get me up and going. Your not alone out there at all. There seem to be many of us that are in the same boat. Think hard and long before you act though. You may wind up losing what relationship you do have if he ever does find out. As much as I do want to have sex,WILD, PASSIONATE, EARTH SHAKING SEX, my conscience and sense of loyalty won't let me go do it. Good luck to ya, and best wishes as well................................................

PappiMoresGable 64M

6/13/2006 5:52 pm

I agree with the comments made above, but I have to add my own. As time moves on people change and their needs change. Love also changes, but it moves from one end of the spectrum to the other. From lust and excitment to building a life together to friendship, partnership, and memories.
Marriage is a platform of having someone witness your life.
Having sex outside of your marriage is socially considered wrong, but cheating yourself of your needs is naturally wrong.
You or I cannot justify infidelity. We can only justify fullfillment.
To me, and I have told my wife, as long as we don't lose each other's heart and mind, what else matters?
Good luck!
BTW: Both of us have had experiences beyond our relationship, but we are still together and happy.

matureguy10002 66M

6/13/2006 6:21 pm

Mumm Hi girls well I have to same condition, my wife is not interested in sexual relations and I'm feeling a little guilty of cheating but she's not interested in any kind of sex. I have'nt found anyone yet but am looking.
Lonely in Brockville

imLadyBambi 58M/50F

6/13/2006 7:48 pm


Although Mr. Bambi and I are not in this situation, you might want to contact pragmaticCTcpl or read some of their blogs. They are very nice, very knowledgable, and they should be able to answer just about any questions you might have.

Good Luck,
Lady Bambi

rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
6/14/2006 5:10 am

hello mailman,

i have to thank you for giving me the most wonderful way to start my day ever! I was getting excited within minutes of beginning to read. By the time I was finished I had to get a couple "friends" I have hidden away in a drawer to help me out. I was curious to read more so I went to your blog... all I have to say is you are amazing.
If you are in my situation then your wife doesn't know what she is missing! All I have to say is "what a waste"!
Keep your imagination and fantasies "coming".

rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
6/14/2006 6:30 am

All these years I have been suffering in silence. Thinking I was the only person in the whole world in my situation. It is sad to know that there is others out there like me, but it is nice to know I am not alone. I thought I must be some kind of freak or something that I was living like this. To all of you that have offered your support and ideas.. I thank you. To those who have chosen to judge me all I can say is until you are in my situation you have no right to judge me. Cheating is never right and there is nothing that will justify it. All I can say is men and women have feelings and desires and if no one gets hurt and everyone involved is discreet then what is the harm.
As for feeling guilty, yeah maybe I do alittle. I am married after all, but I am not sorry NOT IN THE LEAST. I knew exactly what I was doing and if given the opportunity I will do it again and again and again.

mailmantrouser2 53M
534 posts
6/14/2006 12:52 pm

Hi smis4u,
Thank you for your generous compliments!
Please send me an e-mail (I cannot email you from here) or remember mailmantrousers (no 2) and send one to youknowwho!
Looking forward to your response. I have more fantasies or, if you tell me about your preferences I can make some up just for you and me. Would not want you to start the day without a shot of somnething to get you going! (Is one of the friends in the drawer named Bob (battery operated boyfriend)?


rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
6/14/2006 1:46 pm

Hi again,

You deserved every compliment. How can I e-mail you? I would love to get another fantasy like the one before. I am still tingling over that one. My fantasy right at this minute is to have a man to make love to me for hours. Caressing & licking every inch of my body before we can't take anymore and finally fuck until we both cum and end with a completely satisfied sigh of pleasure.

mailmantrouser2 53M
534 posts
6/15/2006 1:17 pm

Hi Smis4u,
Got your other e-mails and responded in kind.
Now, try me at mailmantrousers wich resides at yah. OK?


playtime44uandi 52M
6545 posts
6/15/2006 5:57 pm

Well as you can see you rnot alone here, This is a great place to find a great friend to help you out.

~We'll Leave The Light On~

mailmantrouser2 53M
534 posts
6/16/2006 11:37 am

Do you need any help, playtime44uandi? I'll be happy to do the necessary!


playtime44uandi 52M
6545 posts
6/16/2006 2:39 pm

Sorry mailman, I'm looking to help out the mail ladys.

~We'll Leave The Light On~

tjinsoutheastpa1 53M
499 posts
6/16/2006 9:33 pm

I'm in the exact same situation! It's been forever and when we do, it's always the exact same thing. I miss variety and excitment and had hoped to find some here. Other than reading some interesting blogs and occassionally posting to my own, I'm not getting much out of AdultFriendFinder. Welcome

rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
6/17/2006 6:05 am

I am amazed at how many people are in my situation. That relieves my mind, I always thought I was some kind of freak or something. It is both sad and interesting in a way. So far everyone I have chatted with says they are not looking to change their marital situations just looking for sex because they are not getting it at home. These days when marriages usually last a few hours to a few months that is nice to know. I am sure most of you out there are not going without it at home you are just here to get more. For you all I have to say is thats fine if that is what you want to do but you are cheating not only your spouse but yourself out of what could be something good, just to have something more on the side. I consider that the true act of cheating. For all of us NOT getting it at home, let the games begin.

playtime44uandi 52M
6545 posts
6/20/2006 7:00 pm

Yes let the games begin!
You know, in the groups section there is a group called
"Akron married wanting more"
There are lots of poeple there in the same situation & we have some fun discussions. Any of you are welcome there!

~We'll Leave The Light On~

rm_whynotty3 56M
24 posts
6/21/2006 2:09 pm

I thought I would have some insight to your blog but I see by all the responses that I'm a little late. I am here for the same reasons, and I don't really know how it got that way. I love to be passionate, it just isn't the same. Maybe I'll run into you sometime and we can chat. I'll watch for you or let me know and maybe we can meet. After all this is fantasy land and sometimes you even get to enjoy one. Be creative whynotus2or3

rm_toppguns2 58F

6/24/2006 11:41 am

Hey there girlfriend. I have been there and done that!!!! I was married for 20 years. Divorced now and loving it - but I can relate to your lifestyle. Now, I have a boyfriend that pleases me whenever I want. Problem we live in different states. He lives in Cleveland and I live in Pittsburgh. We have an open relationship. However, the woman that he plays with in CLEVE is a whore. I am scared of diseases that he might get and pass on to me. If he played with a wife with no possiblity of disease I would feel much beter. Also, you are very respectable. He always uses condoms but if there is a diseaes that lingers, she has it.

rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
6/25/2006 5:14 am

Hi there toppguns2,

I am glad to know that there is hope for me. I started e-mailing a guy on line and it became so frequent that I suggested that we e-mail to our private e-mails, well even that became too much so now we IM each other. We talk for hours every night. This man is almost too good to be true. We have so much in common. How funny he lives in PA too! We haven't met yet, but it is only a matter of time. With all our IM's and e-mails we have done things that would make a sailor blush. I am so looking forward to doing to him everything I have described to him that I would like to do. I know what you mean about being worried of disease, thank god for condoms. I don't live in Cleveland anymore, but I grew up there, I now live in the country 1 hour from PA, I hope that whore you are referring to isn't one of my old friends, ha ha ha .
I have seriously been thinking of divorce, I am just going to take things one day at a time and see where this leads me.
Any suggestions for me on my first meeting with this man? We are both very nervous, I don't want to make a bad impression by being too nervous or shy, I also don't want to come across like a eager tramp.

rm_Pistols_riv 67M
3 posts
7/5/2006 9:29 am

Wow - I can't believe how many have the same problem - what is wrong with out spouses???? I've gone as much as 6 months without and it's been a real struggle not to stray! (Not that I haven't had the opportunity!)

The reason I joined AdultFriendFinder is to find someone who is in the same boat and wants to explore some new things!


rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
7/7/2006 2:42 pm

Hi Pete,

I am just as surprised as you were to find out we are not alone. That is really sad because our spouses are losing out on all of our passion and love and we need to find someone to give it to. You have gone up to 6 months without sex? Consider yourself lucky then, I have gone much, much, much longer than that. If it wasn't for a very close friend of mine being attracted to me and I to him, I would of gone even longer. Unfortunately, I am no longer seeing this man, but I have found a wonderful man on-line here. I have been chatting with him on our personal IM's for over a month now. We are going to meet very soon. I can not wait.
But I have learned that once you stray, you will have to live with that forever. So be very sure that this is what you want. Make sure you know what to expect out of the relationship and make sure the other person knows what to expect. Since you are married you need to make sure everyone has their cards on the table from the start. If you decide to act on one of your opportunities have a great time.

rm_mk1867 58M
60 posts
7/10/2006 4:34 pm

I volunteer to help - same boat.

rm_smis4u 57F
9 posts
7/14/2006 4:28 am

Well I continue to live and learn. I had met a wonderful man and began to truly care about this man. I failed to tell him that I recently ended an affair and still had feelings for the man. When I finally told him, he reacted just like I thought he would and accused me of being nothing more than a lier. Thankfully we hadn't had sex yet. That would of complicated this all the more.
From now on I will be smarter and let anyone know right up front what I want and what I don't want. So much for honesty... right?

115 posts
7/26/2006 10:41 am

Yes marriage and sex go together but not always with the one you are married to. You are just having sex not filing for divorce

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