Why I prefer my hand to a one night stand  

rm_silkditty 66F
12408 posts
4/24/2006 1:02 pm
Why I prefer my hand to a one night stand

For those of you who wonder why I'd rather masturbate than take advantage of the numerous one night stand offers available, I believe I'll blow-viate.


1. My hand doesn't lie. It does not post pictures that are ten years old, nor give a false age or false description of body type.

2. I can trust my hand. I know where it is at all times and it's life's history. One night stands do not inspire trust, and for this Monkeywoman that makes it harder to orgasm.

3. I do not have to get on the freeway, make small talk or get drunk to get to the point with my hand.

4. I do not have to explain what I like to my hand, as my hand has had lot of practice.

5. I am very attached to my hand. I am not attached to a one-night stand, and attachment/emotion is the electricity for my orgasms.(stop here: kiss hand, suck fingers, "good girl")

6. My hand stays with me all night. However, that does not mean that I like to wake up with a one-night stand, it is actually preferable that he leave. If it becomes evident that there is more than a one-night stand on offer, then I'll work my way towards a sleep-over. (see Point 2 regarding trust)

6. If I accidentally fart in front of my hand, there is no offense taken or general awkwardness to deal with.

I'm sure if I wasted more time in front of my computer, I could come up with more reasons, but for now I must urgently vacuum my ceiling.

If anyone else has a good reason to add, please chime in.

Rebuttals are also welcome.

AskerChertLigan 52M
24 posts
4/24/2006 3:53 pm

As we all go through life we are let down by some people. Please do not let this get you down or stop having fun with the other people who would and could treat you right. I have been told by the ladies that i have a great pair of hands and that i give very mean massage. If you wish you can contact me so i can give you an free massage. Thanks and keep on living the right way.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
4/25/2006 9:20 am

oooOOO0000hhh I hear ya there....


gemini0157 59M  
6842 posts
4/25/2006 2:14 pm

If you wish you could take take things a step further..like... Do you ever act coy around your hand?

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