My Pink Ass: A Racism Forum #2  

rm_silkditty 66F
12408 posts
6/20/2006 10:37 pm
My Pink Ass: A Racism Forum #2

I love picking out greeting cards for people. I'll take my time to find exactly the right one. I have favorite card shops mapped out in various parts of Los Angeles.

But today I couldn't traipse around and had to stay local while I looked for a birthday card for my brother-in-law, who is black.

Most card places don't carry greeting cards with a Mahogany card line. None of my local shops do. So I looked for a card that had pictures of flowers or animals or something inanimate to send him.

'Cause it wouldn't be fun for him to get a birthday card with a picture of a smiling white man on it.

If you're white and reading this, it probably has never crossed your mind that there is a huge gap in the marketplace.

So, I was also looking for an anniversary card for my sister and her husband.

You think it's hard to find a Mahogany card line?

Try finding an anniversary card line anywhere for interracial couples. I've never run across any, and I look pretty close.

I broke one of my rules and got a card with a white couple on it, because I thought the quote was too good to pass up:

"Keep your eyes WIDE OPEN before marriage,
HALF SHUT afterwards" Benjamin Franklin

(inside the card it says "but always look out for each other")

I may not send this one, though, because I don't think the picture honors my sister and her husband's marriage.

I read an article recently that suggests that while interracial marriage has gained more acceptance over the years from whites, that black women and Asian men are becoming increasingly opposed to it.

What are your thoughts on what this article suggests?

Who wants to develop an innovative interracial greeting card line with me?


rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
6/20/2006 10:50 pm

Time to design your own!!!

I've had this problem too.


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
6/20/2006 10:58 pm

In being in an interracial marriage myself I have never found a card for us. I am with OddGirl you may have to design your own. That is a thought for the interracial marriages that are widespread these days. Maybe we can market cards like that and make a fortune.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
6/20/2006 11:32 pm

I seriously doubt that Hallmark is developing cards with interracial relationships in mind.

I don't think most people choose cards based on that criteria.

Amazing how race is such a controversial topic in this country.

People make it an issue.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


Drofpussology4u 59M  
4843 posts
6/21/2006 1:13 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    I seriously doubt that Hallmark is developing cards with interracial relationships in mind.

    I don't think most people choose cards based on that criteria.

    Amazing how race is such a controversial topic in this country.

    People make it an issue.

    DIV
People WOULD chose cards based on this criteria if they had the ability and they were widely available. Beware of slippery slope reasoning. It there is someone who WON'T there is someone who WILL. There are ALWAYS opposites. Just as there is up and down, black and white, red and blue, hot and cold, people come in all flavors.

The reason this continues to be a topic and a problem is people do not develop dialogs on the topic. People seem willing to sweep the topic under the carpet very easily because it is the easy way out.

Hence, ignorance, prejudice and bigotry continue to manifest. Racism of the past haunts Blacks today. It also haunts Whites and others too. No one escapes. Look at affirmative action. There should be no need for this and innocent Whites get a negative affect because of it;yet without it, Blacks would not be able to get into certain jobs/schools.

Whites want to identify themselves as people who had nothing to do with the racism of the past. Blacks wish they could go through each day without racism of the past affecting them.

Sadly, we cannot escape. Until we have the courage to go through the pain of discussing, assessing, mapping, solving, pro-actively working, the events of the past shall continue to hurt us.

As an African American male, this stuff is in my face whether I want it to or not. Imagine, if you are White, watching television and most of the people on there are Black. That is what I face each day. I wear suits most of the time so I can get better service when I go out. I get MORE respect.

I am proactive in my communities to combat racism and foster healing. We all need to be.

I continue to be hurt by my father's murder by Ku Klux Klan even though it was 37 years ago. On father's day every year, I cry like a baby. I do not have shame in admitting this. I have learned that the truly courageous have the courage to go THROUGH pain and not around it.

There are so many cowards our society. People who want to cover everything up and not work to develop solutions.

I go into the prisons and meet people there to give them hope.

I mentor and sponsor children (currently one Mexican and one mixed Mexican and Black). The Mexican told me that he hated White people. I was able to tell him that hate kills the hater and those who hate us never win, until we hate them, that is when we destroy ourselves. What if I had not been there to talk to him? Could he have become a gang member who later killed me in a drug related shooting (my wife and daughter were shot in the head on 48 and Vermont in 1989 during a crack house gun battle as we delivered father's day presents).

My White grandmother told me "Don't you ever hate" shortly after being beaten in Birmingham during a riot with police that we just happened to step into when we were leaving a supermarket. She was beaten because a White police officer saw her with us niggers and she was a nigger lover.

I have fought in 11 combat cruises in six warships during my 25 years as a Navy navigator to ensure people have the freedom to be gay, to be Black, to be White, to be Muslim, to be Hindu, to be whatever they want to be. My love for this country and its people has not wavered despite the fact that I am often treated like a second class citizen. 77 of my shipmates were killed during this period.

I do not know why I have had to suffer so much, it is not important. What is important is that I am now driven to make a real difference in my community. Without the pain, I might have stayed in my comforts zone and done nothing like so many others.

You do not have the option to do nothing and be part of the solution. You are either apart of the solution, or part of the problem.

Thanks lovely, for developing the blog and asking for my contribution. I have nothing but love for you Miss Silkditty!


DeeepPenaTrayR "The Pussologist"[blog DeeepPenaTrayR]


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
6/21/2006 1:31 am

    Quoting Drofpussology4u:
    People WOULD chose cards based on this criteria if they had the ability and they were widely available. Beware of slippery slope reasoning. It there is someone who WON'T there is someone who WILL. There are ALWAYS opposites. Just as there is up and down, black and white, red and blue, hot and cold, people come in all flavors.

    The reason this continues to be a topic and a problem is people do not develop dialogs on the topic. People seem willing to sweep the topic under the carpet very easily because it is the easy way out.

    Hence, ignorance, prejudice and bigotry continue to manifest. Racism of the past haunts Blacks today. It also haunts Whites and others too. No one escapes. Look at affirmative action. There should be no need for this and innocent Whites get a negative affect because of it;yet without it, Blacks would not be able to get into certain jobs/schools.

    Whites want to identify themselves as people who had nothing to do with the racism of the past. Blacks wish they could go through each day without racism of the past affecting them.

    Sadly, we cannot escape. Until we have the courage to go through the pain of discussing, assessing, mapping, solving, pro-actively working, the events of the past shall continue to hurt us.

    As an African American male, this stuff is in my face whether I want it to or not. Imagine, if you are White, watching television and most of the people on there are Black. That is what I face each day. I wear suits most of the time so I can get better service when I go out. I get MORE respect.

    I am proactive in my communities to combat racism and foster healing. We all need to be.

    I continue to be hurt by my father's murder by Ku Klux Klan even though it was 37 years ago. On father's day every year, I cry like a baby. I do not have shame in admitting this. I have learned that the truly courageous have the courage to go THROUGH pain and not around it.

    There are so many cowards our society. People who want to cover everything up and not work to develop solutions.

    I go into the prisons and meet people there to give them hope.

    I mentor and sponsor children (currently one Mexican and one mixed Mexican and Black). The Mexican told me that he hated White people. I was able to tell him that hate kills the hater and those who hate us never win, until we hate them, that is when we destroy ourselves. What if I had not been there to talk to him? Could he have become a gang member who later killed me in a drug related shooting (my wife and daughter were shot in the head on 48 and Vermont in 1989 during a crack house gun battle as we delivered father's day presents).

    My White grandmother told me "Don't you ever hate" shortly after being beaten in Birmingham during a riot with police that we just happened to step into when we were leaving a supermarket. She was beaten because a White police officer saw her with us niggers and she was a nigger lover.

    I have fought in 11 combat cruises in six warships during my 25 years as a Navy navigator to ensure people have the freedom to be gay, to be Black, to be White, to be Muslim, to be Hindu, to be whatever they want to be. My love for this country and its people has not wavered despite the fact that I am often treated like a second class citizen. 77 of my shipmates were killed during this period.

    I do not know why I have had to suffer so much, it is not important. What is important is that I am now driven to make a real difference in my community. Without the pain, I might have stayed in my comforts zone and done nothing like so many others.

    You do not have the option to do nothing and be part of the solution. You are either apart of the solution, or part of the problem.

    Thanks lovely, for developing the blog and asking for my contribution. I have nothing but love for you Miss Silkditty!
You're preaching to the wrong man.

Not only am I Hispanic, but a veteran as well.

I don't need to hear your rhetoric.

I have my own experiences from which to draw my opinions.

Racism exists and will always exist, but people who thrive on it and look for it are part of the problem.

I'm not sweeping anything under the rug.

Next time, take a bit of time and look at who you are speaking to.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


shylena256 42F
1967 posts
6/21/2006 3:24 am

Ok It has been a while since I had the magazine but there used to be a magazine called "New People" which focused on interracial people/ couples etc.
At the back of it were always ads for interracial greeting cards and you could even pick the gender and hair color of the white person.

I am in a bit of a hurry right now and marking this post to get back to later.

Just saying that in 1992 it WAS possible, some of my best friends are white (grin) and I *DO* believe it's possible to get them, just probably not super easy if you don't plan ahead and order them.

Lena


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
6/21/2006 7:59 am

Hey silkditty,
I must admit I'm no card aficionado, but I don't often see cards with any actual people on them. So, I never thought of cards as being 'ethnic' until I noticed a card I picked out for my grandfather one time was in a 'black' card section. I don't think it was the Mahogany line but something similar I guess. Then I noticed the cards that had characters in the drawings had black characters and all of these cards had 'African' designs. Other than the color of the characters, I didn't see much difference at all, the 'African' design didn't matter to me - I bought the card I picked out because I liked it. My grandfather never mentioned he thought there was anything unusual about the card.

So... I dunno, I guess I don't expect a store-bought card to perfectly represent my message or the people represented - I'm buying it so I don't have to write much.

I thought it was funny the other day how hard it was to find a Father's Day card for your father - most of them were to husband, brother... I did find one that said "God blesses the humble..." on the front, so I got it and crossed out that line & wrote "oops!" - my dad isn't very humble.
Intensity


shylena256 42F
1967 posts
6/21/2006 8:02 am

Div and Pentraytor....
I spend a lot of time thinking about race... just do.
I spend a lot of time not thinking about it too.
It's like that.
As "minorities" I think we all have our own way of dealing with the issues as we see them.
I appreciate both of your viewpoints on this and think that they're cool.

Maybe I missed something up there, but DIV I really didn't think that Penetraytor was barking up your tree at all, just voicing his differing opinon in an open forum for all to see.
For me that is the cool part... just as a thord party I did not see this as an attack on you or your rhetoric, just a debate, which I think is trivialized when it gets personal.

As a U.S. citizen I agree with both you to an extent.... as someone who thinks about race and racism a bit/ a lot I have my own opinons too, but I do not as yet see a place for them here... No time, no problem, no issue.

One issue I guess that I repeatedly think gets ignored in the states is that racism is literally really not black and white. I mean really, and it is so silly to trivialize it down to that when we do.

Subject at hand multiracial greeting cards... well let's look at it in a capitalistic way-- it's a corner market that may not be a big money maker... on the other hand it really did bug me as a kid not to be able to get black barbie (she did eventually come out when I was etc.
My mom once bought me a multiracial birthday card, it didn't make me happier but I think it was important to her to be able to find it.

One of my favorite books as a youngster was called "Black, Brown and Tan" about a multiracial family, just in case some of you have kids or friends with kids that would like to deal with this issue.

Ok I think that's all.

I did look up New People, they appear to have an ezine these days and not the printed copy, and their greeting cards left enough to be desired that I for one would make my own.

Of course the coolest thing they had for me was an INTERRACIAL FOOT CARD... fortunately I have had the opportunity to make my own interracial foot photos.

As I remember it from when I had the subscription, New People was based on the premise that we are all mixing and that the Mainstream Media was not attacking/approaching/broaching the subject enough.... As, I believe, was the point of this post about why it's so hard to get a card for a black Brother in Law.


ldftb1 35M
214 posts
6/21/2006 9:13 am

i do think that i would not be happy if i got a card with a white face on it as am NOT white and anything but a white dude to represent me.
i dont think i would get as far as reading what it says if its a white man on the cover. Guess its an issue that most people dont have to address unless you do have good friends /family of diffrent races.


gemini0157 59M  
6842 posts
6/21/2006 9:36 am

The subject in the article you speak of (though I haven't given it any thought), doesn't surprise me. As far as interracial relations go... blacks seem to be more in demand as husbands than as wives, and vice-versa for Asians..... why is this? Are white men more racist than white women... are Asian men bound to tradition more than the women..? Do white men perceived a race gap between black and Asian...? wow... to much to think about... I am just going to stick to supporting relationships of all kinds regardless of race or sexual orientation... btw... have you ever tried to find an anniversary card for a gay couple?


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
6/21/2006 12:29 pm

    Quoting shylena256:
    Div and Pentraytor....
    I spend a lot of time thinking about race... just do.
    I spend a lot of time not thinking about it too.
    It's like that.
    As "minorities" I think we all have our own way of dealing with the issues as we see them.
    I appreciate both of your viewpoints on this and think that they're cool.

    Maybe I missed something up there, but DIV I really didn't think that Penetraytor was barking up your tree at all, just voicing his differing opinon in an open forum for all to see.
    For me that is the cool part... just as a thord party I did not see this as an attack on you or your rhetoric, just a debate, which I think is trivialized when it gets personal.

    As a U.S. citizen I agree with both you to an extent.... as someone who thinks about race and racism a bit/ a lot I have my own opinons too, but I do not as yet see a place for them here... No time, no problem, no issue.

    One issue I guess that I repeatedly think gets ignored in the states is that racism is literally really not black and white. I mean really, and it is so silly to trivialize it down to that when we do.

    Subject at hand multiracial greeting cards... well let's look at it in a capitalistic way-- it's a corner market that may not be a big money maker... on the other hand it really did bug me as a kid not to be able to get black barbie (she did eventually come out when I was etc.
    My mom once bought me a multiracial birthday card, it didn't make me happier but I think it was important to her to be able to find it.

    One of my favorite books as a youngster was called "Black, Brown and Tan" about a multiracial family, just in case some of you have kids or friends with kids that would like to deal with this issue.

    Ok I think that's all.

    I did look up New People, they appear to have an ezine these days and not the printed copy, and their greeting cards left enough to be desired that I for one would make my own.

    Of course the coolest thing they had for me was an INTERRACIAL FOOT CARD... fortunately I have had the opportunity to make my own interracial foot photos.

    As I remember it from when I had the subscription, New People was based on the premise that we are all mixing and that the Mainstream Media was not attacking/approaching/broaching the subject enough.... As, I believe, was the point of this post about why it's so hard to get a card for a black Brother in Law.
Shylena,

If you have you own opinons on race relations, I think it's high time you made a place for them here.

The "no time, no problem, no issue" excuse is just a way of putting it off for another day.

The time is now.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


wickedeasy 66F  
25470 posts
6/21/2006 5:22 pm

sweet silk

excuse me for not reading the comments before i commnet but it's been that kind of week

do you know the bahai faith?

i think the sentiment is sufficient - i think the sentiment is lovely adn warm and caring

so for me - send the damn card

sighs - i hate hallmark

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


shylena256 42F
1967 posts
6/21/2006 10:18 pm

DIV,
you are right, and I guess I was trying more to say..."I'm not sure how to formulate these thoughts at the moment"

On the other hand, I think my post ended up summing up many of my thoughts on race that have to do with the issue at hand.

But lemme try to see if I can sum up a lifetime's morphing and thinking into a few sentances again.

I don't want to be a stereotype, I refuse to be a stereotype and for many aspects of life race is a non-issue for me.

There are times where I can't deny that it is an issue. I went to rural Utah last year and remembered something I hadn't experienced since early childhood, a racism that just seethed openly at me, I have not been talked to so patronizingly with so much open disgust for years.

I'm black and that's a part of me that is somehow important, a part that I don't "sweep under the rug" but I don't play the race card about everything and have been known to defend assholes that friends just wanted to pawn off as racists, when all they really were were assholes.

I get peeved when I hear that Colin Powell or Condoleeza Rice are so-called "Traitors to their race" AS IF!
My mom was active, super active in both the Civil Rights and Free Speech movements, and it pisses me off when people fail to see that if this famed equality on which our very country is founded is ever to be had that people of all races should have the right to their political views.
NEWSFLASH: BLack people can be assholes too!

I am 31 and a singer songwriter but I don't sing the blues, go figure that I feel the need still to qualify that statement, but I would say at least 50% of the people who hear that I am singer-songwriter having heard my music just automatically ask me if I sing the the blues.

It saddens me to see something that I think is a self-produced separatism all over the USA, and it pisses me off that a lot of young black and latino kids seem to think they have to be gangsters to be cool. Yes I am sure there are lots of others, I am just speaking from what I have seen and experienced.

In high school other black kids thought I thought I was to good to be black because I didn't like hip-hop, I thought that was lame.

I have dated and will continue to date guys regardless of race because I look at the person inside and not just the wrapping paper but one guy I will never date is the guy who asks me if date black/white/asian/latino/italian/etc. guys... if race is that much of an issue that a guy has to ask me that, he is obviously looking way too much at my wrapping paper and is living in a world that is divided in a way that I don't play. Sex and race don't mix for me and I mean that in the best possible way. I have had some very interesting discussions with members here who are in an interracial forum...eye opening for me, but it's not my thing because that to me takes away the chance that a guy falls for *me*... he is already looking for a black girl, same as I don't let guys hit on me in any BBW thing I participate in. I do not want to be wanted for my body, even if you want it because it's big, it still turns me off to be catagorized like that.

For the record here I will not be stating "I don't care of you're purple or green" because frankly, green dick?? No thanks If you are green please se a dermatologist, green is not a skin-color that I have seen on a healthy human.

Still I have found a lot of solace and wisdom and words for my road in this world especially in the writings of other black americans, including James Baldwin and Ntozake Shange, both of whom have highlighted and focused on race among other things in their works.

One thing I do love is talking about racism and race issues in general. I find that my opinons change and flow, and I do like to keep track of that.

Hope that helps clarify my view.

Lena


Drofpussology4u 59M  
4843 posts
6/22/2006 12:00 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    You're preaching to the wrong man.

    Not only am I Hispanic, but a veteran as well.

    I don't need to hear your rhetoric.

    I have my own experiences from which to draw my opinions.

    Racism exists and will always exist, but people who thrive on it and look for it are part of the problem.

    I'm not sweeping anything under the rug.

    Next time, take a bit of time and look at who you are speaking to.

    DIV
First lets clarify Div, that I was not talking to you individualy (now I am) or preaching to you.

My comments were meant for the moderator and other members of the group.

I do not care what your race is or if you are a veteran, my response would be no different.

It is obvious that you have your own experiences to draw your opinions, who cares.

I agree with you that racism exists.

Thriving on it? Well, this is a discussion group focused on the issue if you have not noticed.

Next time YOU take a look at who comments are being directed to. Notice, my comments were directed primarily to Silk.

I do not know who peed in your corn flakes, it was not me mate. I hope we can get over any misunderstanding and move on. If we cannot, we cannot...I have no interest in carrying on a dialogue with you on this level. Your opinion and tone simply not intrinsic to me. This will be my last comment to you on the topic.


DeeepPenaTrayR "The Pussologist"[blog DeeepPenaTrayR]


Drofpussology4u 59M  
4843 posts
6/22/2006 12:03 am

    Quoting shylena256:
    Div and Pentraytor....
    I spend a lot of time thinking about race... just do.
    I spend a lot of time not thinking about it too.
    It's like that.
    As "minorities" I think we all have our own way of dealing with the issues as we see them.
    I appreciate both of your viewpoints on this and think that they're cool.

    Maybe I missed something up there, but DIV I really didn't think that Penetraytor was barking up your tree at all, just voicing his differing opinon in an open forum for all to see.
    For me that is the cool part... just as a thord party I did not see this as an attack on you or your rhetoric, just a debate, which I think is trivialized when it gets personal.

    As a U.S. citizen I agree with both you to an extent.... as someone who thinks about race and racism a bit/ a lot I have my own opinons too, but I do not as yet see a place for them here... No time, no problem, no issue.

    One issue I guess that I repeatedly think gets ignored in the states is that racism is literally really not black and white. I mean really, and it is so silly to trivialize it down to that when we do.

    Subject at hand multiracial greeting cards... well let's look at it in a capitalistic way-- it's a corner market that may not be a big money maker... on the other hand it really did bug me as a kid not to be able to get black barbie (she did eventually come out when I was etc.
    My mom once bought me a multiracial birthday card, it didn't make me happier but I think it was important to her to be able to find it.

    One of my favorite books as a youngster was called "Black, Brown and Tan" about a multiracial family, just in case some of you have kids or friends with kids that would like to deal with this issue.

    Ok I think that's all.

    I did look up New People, they appear to have an ezine these days and not the printed copy, and their greeting cards left enough to be desired that I for one would make my own.

    Of course the coolest thing they had for me was an INTERRACIAL FOOT CARD... fortunately I have had the opportunity to make my own interracial foot photos.

    As I remember it from when I had the subscription, New People was based on the premise that we are all mixing and that the Mainstream Media was not attacking/approaching/broaching the subject enough.... As, I believe, was the point of this post about why it's so hard to get a card for a black Brother in Law.
Thank you lovely for understanding and making an intelligent response.

DeeepPenaTrayR "The Pussologist"[blog DeeepPenaTrayR]


Drofpussology4u 59M  
4843 posts
6/22/2006 12:04 am

You know, I am just NOT concerned.

DeeepPenaTrayR "The Pussologist"[blog DeeepPenaTrayR]


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
6/22/2006 11:26 am

Since silkditty is wanting to make this a forum and is asking for open honest dialogue on racial issues and I commented earlier on the greeting cards, I thought I'd participate.

I keep coming to this post and trying to write something but then I run out of time... I will write a couple comments offline and post them next visit.


rm_Yknotme_69 52M
206 posts
6/22/2006 3:21 pm

Hello there, I tend to agree with Silkditty with the statement that there is tension between Blacks and Hispanics more so than with whites; geographics has plenty to do with this, but it is a growing trend..(In my opinion NYC has lost its MOJO as the trend setting city,that title now belongs to L.A.)The tension may be more prevalent out there, but I see subtle signs here in NY.Hispanics are now the largest minority-that may have a contribution- but just an insight; I am a black hispanic(Panama) and black hispanics in Panama have gotten the short end of the stick economically for quite some time now...except the dying breed of black hispanics who benefitted from U.S. jobs/dollars/pensions when the U.S. still had control of the Canal.


KC_JJ 53M

6/22/2006 5:32 pm

Although I'm not black per se' I did grow up with a father who looks like he could be twin brothers with ex LA mayor Tom Bradley. Who did his military service in the early 50's and was stationed in Georgia and Texas and was not allowed to use most public facilities and who was often referred to as a "nigger".

So you could almost say that I had a black daddy.

But most of all that was sheilded from me when I was growing up so I pretty well grew up "white middle class". But mom was a social worker who also took part in many a head start program and/or similar type of work situation so her life was always intermingled with what you might call the "undeprivelaged". Which meant that her contact with those whose skin color leaned towards the darker side was pretty well constant throughout my her life and thusly my life as well.

Also her college roommate and close friend throughout life was a woman who was eventually known as Coretta Scott King. As a young youth I remember getting a yearly Christmas card from the King family. And once when Coretta visited my mother much later she was asked to accompy her to a speech which Coretta gave locally. My mom said the plexiglass on the windows of her limo was about six inches thick.

So your project does have an interest for me. I used to always get my "weird and wonderful" cards at a place in Westwood. My dad's all time favorites were the Louis Armstrong cards I got for him there as he is a jazz trumpet player himself and in his time spent in the south he was always accepted with open arms by the local black musicians as one of their own, no questions asked.

He is actually a very dark skinned native american with his blood roots in the central mexican Aztec region tribes (Chichimec) and he has unusually african type features.

MMM [ MMM


rm_isabella989 41M
83 posts
6/22/2006 6:38 pm

Yeah i tend to agree hun im a dark guy but hey we will slowly get there in the end but i suggest u just make him one frm yr heart!!


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
6/22/2006 10:36 pm

Race isn't a big issue in my life. And yes, I'm a white male so it shouldn't be right? Well, I know there are things I don't notice unless they're pointed out, like the greeting cards or barbie dolls or whatever that have been all caucasions in the past. With the greeting card situation, I didn't notice that the characters were all white but I did realize I was in the black card section when I noticed the characters were all black. So, I admit upfront that there may be a lot of discrimination that goes unrecognized because I'm not the one being excluded.
Being raised (and still living) in the South, race is definitely a fact of life here. In this area, there are very few hispanics or asians or other ethic groups, basically just blacks and whites. I don't think there's much racial tension, so to speak, but there's definitely self-imposed segregation. Oddly, the segregation is most obvious in churches - most are either black or white, very few are racially mixed. And in my experience, that's where I've encountered the most bigotry of whites toward blacks.
Throughout my life I can honestly say that I've made a conscious effort to not allow myself to be prejudiced. I raised my children to not even mention a person's skin color when they're relating a story or situation unless it has something to do with the point of the story. I've always heard people telling some story and they'll say, "And then this black guy walked in..." So, I would say, "Why did you tell me he was black when you didn't tell what color the other people were? Is it important that he was black?" It caused some awkward moments sometimes but it helped me to be aware of that kind of bias in everyday speach.
As far as reverse discrimination, it's not uncommon to be treated unfriendly by blacks and it seems to be racially motivated, but it's the exception not the rule. I don't think I've been hurt by Affirmative Action or other initiatives like that. It doesn't bother me, but I do occasionally wonder why it's ok to have a movie 'White Men Can't Jump' or have a black-caucus or a black coalition etc. when it would be unspeakable to consider the reverse. I also wonder why some people who have dedicated their lives to fighting discrimination are so blind to their own prejudices.

I think the term color-blind is a misnomer for those who try to use it. I'd prefer to say that I see the world in color not black & white.


charlieff 76M
264 posts
6/24/2006 2:15 am

I am a white male and I respect a person for who they are and not their skin color. However, skin color often seems to dictate who you are. That makes it easy for someone who doesn't deserve respect to claim racism.

I can't deny that racism exists but I think our different cultures, ideals, struggles and our desire to be individuals adds to the problem. We separate ourselves with language, music, history, holidays and religion and then ask "Why am I being treated differently?"

In the City of Philadelphia the ratio of Blacks to Whites is very close. The Mayor is Black and after his first election he said in a speech "Finally the Brotha's are running the City." The Mayor of New Orleans is Black and wants to reconstruct the city as a "Chocolate City." A Black lady in a Home Depot commercial says to a white man who wants to buy a phone (no, he's not blonde), "You inna hardware stoe mista." I guess no one is listening to Bill Cosby!

The Hispanic population wants to sing our National Anthem in Spanish. Why not? We'll just call it the "Inter-national Anthem!"

Asian people own many business in the Black neighborhoods of Philadelphia and nearly once a month an Asian store owner is shot or killed in a robbery.

I work for the City of Philadelphia and out of nearly 2,000 female employees there are only 136 white women. The ratio of Black to White men working for the City is similar but not quite as drastic. Isn't this discrimination?

When the City's Director of Public Housing, a Black man, retired his White female Assistant applied for his job. She was told that since most of the City's tenants where Black the City would "only consider a Black Director." The statement was published in the newspaper. However, when Fuzzy Zeller made a joke about serving soul food after Tiger Woods won his first Master's Tournament Mr. Zeller was dishonered as a pro golfer and forced to publicly appologize. Go figure!

As long as each ethnic group continues to set themselves apart from the others, even the attempt to pair a Black man with every blonde female appearing in commercials isn't going to eliminate racism although it does seem to encourage inter-racial marriages.

As long as the majority is the only group to be pressured for Political Correctness, we refuse to learn and speak English, Black people rekindle slavery by calling themselves African Americans and Allah can justify killing the Infidels, what chance is there to eliminate racism?

I know I've gotten way off the greeting card business but I'm wondering why an enterprising African American hasn't started such a business. Minorities are privileged with financial help programs not provided to Caucasians.


Drofpussology4u 59M  
4843 posts
6/24/2006 7:41 pm

    Quoting Intensity4U:
    Race isn't a big issue in my life. And yes, I'm a white male so it shouldn't be right? Well, I know there are things I don't notice unless they're pointed out, like the greeting cards or barbie dolls or whatever that have been all caucasions in the past. With the greeting card situation, I didn't notice that the characters were all white but I did realize I was in the black card section when I noticed the characters were all black. So, I admit upfront that there may be a lot of discrimination that goes unrecognized because I'm not the one being excluded.
    Being raised (and still living) in the South, race is definitely a fact of life here. In this area, there are very few hispanics or asians or other ethic groups, basically just blacks and whites. I don't think there's much racial tension, so to speak, but there's definitely self-imposed segregation. Oddly, the segregation is most obvious in churches - most are either black or white, very few are racially mixed. And in my experience, that's where I've encountered the most bigotry of whites toward blacks.
    Throughout my life I can honestly say that I've made a conscious effort to not allow myself to be prejudiced. I raised my children to not even mention a person's skin color when they're relating a story or situation unless it has something to do with the point of the story. I've always heard people telling some story and they'll say, "And then this black guy walked in..." So, I would say, "Why did you tell me he was black when you didn't tell what color the other people were? Is it important that he was black?" It caused some awkward moments sometimes but it helped me to be aware of that kind of bias in everyday speach.
    As far as reverse discrimination, it's not uncommon to be treated unfriendly by blacks and it seems to be racially motivated, but it's the exception not the rule. I don't think I've been hurt by Affirmative Action or other initiatives like that. It doesn't bother me, but I do occasionally wonder why it's ok to have a movie 'White Men Can't Jump' or have a black-caucus or a black coalition etc. when it would be unspeakable to consider the reverse. I also wonder why some people who have dedicated their lives to fighting discrimination are so blind to their own prejudices.

    I think the term color-blind is a misnomer for those who try to use it. I'd prefer to say that I see the world in color not black & white.
I was very offended by the movie White Men Can't Jump. As a Black man I realize that discrimination is discrimination. There is no Black or White version or reverse. I am also offended by terms like "minority". In fact, in terms of world population, we are in the majority. The reason that we have to have a Black Caucus or Black Enterprise is because the main stream media does not cover our issues. Every week another White woman is missing and you see it all over the news. Don't you think Asian or Black or Hispanic women are missing too? You see people magazine putting "The most beautiful person in the world" articles up. Blacks or Asians may not agree so we have to have our own magazines that appeal to our tastes. I wish they would have the most beautiful Asian, or most beautiful Hispanic etc. in People Magazine.

I see stories about animals being stuck in trees on the news yet I have to read Jet to learn about recent lynchings. Many of my White friends state that they do not see racism. Look at every major city and you see empoverished Blacks living in the inner city. That is no accident. There is much healing to develop in our cultures. Those of us who are willing have to get busy. That is why I work so hard in my community to make a positive difference. The puzzle is very complicated and there is no simple solution. It is not impossible and the dialogue we have going here has the chance to foster better understanding.


DeeepPenaTrayR "The Pussologist"[blog DeeepPenaTrayR]


shylena256 42F
1967 posts
6/25/2006 12:59 am

I'm reading!
And I am happy that the ball is rolling with such deep introspection on all sides.
For the record I hated the title of that movie and have never seen it.
There's lot's more to say...I hope more people trust themselves to join the discussion.


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
6/25/2006 11:16 am

DeeepPenaTrayR & shylena256
It's good to know your thoughts on that movie title. I can't say I was 'offended' by it, but I thought someone involved with the movie should have thought it might offensive.

Deep, you made so many valid points about the mainstream media that I can only respond by saying that I agree. They recognized for the first time a couple years ago that they give more attention to abduction of white children - but I think that turned into just a story - not a policy change. While it's not really a racial issue directly, there's stories like Laci Peterson. I still don't know why that was an international media blitz. I guess the combination of being white, pretty and pregnant made it supposedly of more interest than all the other women being killed by their husbands - I don't know.

Regarding the 'black' groups, I agree that there are times and issues when it's necessary to have that kind of organization to focus attention or support. When I was on a ski-trip once, I saw a conference room with a banner that said something about "Black Skiers Association..." & I remember having two thoughts about it - 1. (Light-heartedly) There's nothing I can do to be accepted as a member of that group & 2. Because snow skiing is something you don't see many black people involved in - there is probably a real need for that group to exist to let the black population know that there are black people skiing and that this group can probably help you get involved if you have an interest.

About the inner-cities, these are just questions not comments (I would like to know your thoughts)... I know it's a racial issue, but is there racism involved? If so, is racism the cause or is racism preventing a solution or both?

I hope you keep posting comments here (and others too), I'll try to keep contributing my thoughts.


shylena256 42F
1967 posts
9/2/2006 3:53 am

Ooops! Excuse me! and a Challenge.
check this one out.


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