A handy guide to men and women...  

UmbelRiftsSpiny 33M
53 posts
7/1/2006 9:59 am

Last Read:
7/2/2006 9:06 pm

A handy guide to men and women...

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...............................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Mooooooo.
Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former slut.
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................Bitch.
Voluptuous.........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:


1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


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