Your invited, but ....  

rm_sharksnsails 46M
697 posts
5/1/2005 8:15 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Your invited, but ....

"Your invited but your friend can't come" It sums up one of the hardest things we learned about life in school. That when you're alone, not at a party having fun, it's not because there is nobody to have fun with, or no party... It's because you weren't invited, you didn't "make the grade" as it were. And not just by people who don't like you, but by your "friends" too. Some people grapple with not being "good enough" for their friend their whole lives.
One truth: people want time away from each other after a while, at every party there is a point where people begin "splitting off, in smaller groups" and it's who chooses to be around you, and who you choose to be around that defines what happens next. This choice will effect your entire life experience. Go with the stoners, you will have a totally different experience then if you go with the jocks, or if you seclude yourself with one intimate friend vs. a smaller "party".
As for "making the grade" here's the catch, there is an image of perfect in your mind that far exceeds the reality of the fun you think they are having "behind your back", chasing a person or a group is risky as it may be that they feed off of that kind of attention, off of you. Also, if someone doesn't except you now, as you are, then changing their mind about you should be low on your priority list. Instead struggle with why you think its important.
Lastly, you will know the people that love you because they will be sensitive to your need for attention, and will try to include you in the group, making allowances to consider you, as well as others they call friend. be also very sensitive to their need for private time (ex. don't "cock block" your buddy because your afraid to be alone when he and the girl "split off", don't dominate the conversation when at a party, or always steer it back to you, and what you think). Friendship is a "give and take" activity.
I was never good enough to be "in" with my ex-wifes freinds. If life were the Breakfast Club, I was the red-head geek who didn't get the girl in the end.
Have you ever "ditched" a freind, or been ditched? What did you learn?

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/2/2005 5:43 am

It hurts when a friend lets you down. I learned to be conscientious.

rm_sharksnsails 46M
738 posts
5/2/2005 8:24 am

It's funny that people who get hurt learn to be conscientious, yet usually the "beautiful" people, the ones we wish would learn, never do. I guess I've always had a sort of faith that all the ugly ducklings would become beautiful swans.
Keith, I read two of your blog posts so far, nightstogether, whom I consider an excellent writer, with some seriously cool ideas about life the universe and everything, watches your blog, I will be too.
Thanks for posting

rm_morefutility 37F
175 posts
5/11/2005 9:26 pm

Doubt that you will read this comment, but I strongly feel you should lecture at jr. highs across the nation. I could have used that sort of speech when I was a tween, but alas was not the case, and I was left feeling alone and different.

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
7/2/2005 3:59 am

I, too, learned the hard way. A few years ago I kicked the toxic so-called friends out of my life. I'm more alone, buut less lonely, in a way.

Am I making any sense at all here?

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

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