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Trust and feel the burn.......
Trust and feel the burn.......
Trust is the the amplifier of intimacy.
I would not say that trust is intimacy. For instance, everybody trusts that the bank will keep thier money safe (for a price), yet no one feels intimacy with the bank. But without trust intimacy can begin to feel like a con artist's scam.
One of the worst breaches of trust is betrayal, check out "The Generals Daughter" ... great movie. Many people cause themselves great pain, by believing that every breach of trust is a betrayal - this is not true! Betrayal is when the trust is breached in a way that gives another person or entity an advantage at the detriment of the person being betrayed. The reason this is a deeper cut than, say, staying out late when you say you won't, is because one can never know how that leverage wiill be applied. When someone talks (or even jokes) with others about a partners faults weaknesses or problems, there is a chance they give the outside party information that can later be used to insult or hurt the unkowing partner.
Different but still painfull is when you "let someone in" and they hurt you, break you down, or neglect you in a way they weren't at first ("ye olde bait and switch", ex. "He used to listen but now he just watches TV" ).
One of the hardest trusts to maintain is the faith that people have in your word. This is because when one speaks, they cannot fully anticipate all eventualities that may arise, causing one to become untrue to thier word, or break promises, for instance changes in perception, ill fate, or speaking before thinking fully, - all jeapordize good reputation for keeping ones word. Lies are even more destructive, because reporting faithfully is easier than predicting the future ... though people usually have thier justifications. One trick is to prepare avoiding lies by practicing uncomfortable interaction and figuring out the sazfe response ahead of time. This makes comunication seem more sincere, and conceals weaknesses better than stammering for an "out" on the fly when, for instance, pressed for information that is better kept private...
It is possible and not necarily bad to trust someone after they have broken your trust, but it is a thing that must be done with great care. For instance, to go back to my wife after our big break ups required that I trust that she would not take my children from me, she had to trust that I would never do drugs, or stay out drinking anymore. In the end we both failed to consider the natural habbits of the other. In another cases trusting a friend after they have hurt me has paid off because they had made a mistake that they admitted, and were sincerely sorry for. Forgiveness in this case allowed me to keep a friend that I was glad to have later. This kind of trusting is most likely to get you in trouble so, I repeat, exercise caution.
In conclusion let me cite Elvis....
"We can't go on together, with suspicious minds"
5/16/2006 10:16 am
*warm loving hug*|
5/16/2006 4:12 pm
Thanks for the hug PK, hers a hug back atchya.. |
Mrs. D, Yes, friendship after broken trust is hard, yet, everybody makes mistakes, that is why the way one forgives is as important.
(muddy waters, funny, I listened to four muddy waters songs on tower today, banjo legal, harmonica rockin, gypsy woman, down south blues) funny that you should mention him.... plate of shrimp)
5/20/2006 7:34 am
You know that use to be one of my favorite songs growing up........"Suspcious Minds" by Elvis. Here is the part that struck me most.....|
"We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And be can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds"
hugs and gummies,