The Thing I Fear  

rm_sharksnsails 46M
697 posts
6/29/2005 11:31 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Thing I Fear

My marriage imploded, my wife on I split on horrible terms, for th fourth (and last time a year and a half ago. she is so pissed at me that she keeps my daughter and step-son (whom I love as a son)from me, two fridays ago Was an important civil court date for us, (custody, and support) and my car starter died that very morning. By missing the court date she was able to get a default judgement against me. She made it so I have to be supervised by my brother or an adult she chooses. My brother works 80+ hours a week, and is 300 miles away. Im at his house now watching his kids, as his wife went up north (her mom passed). Everyone that knows me tells me its BS, and that they will be character witnesses for me, and not to worry about it, that we'll get it fixed and it'll all work out. But I'm missing valuable grow up time with my daughter (she's 10) and this court thing just drags and we just fight. The fight has been so mean for so long, that it is wearing at my soul. (There is nothing like having someone jerk you around using the children to do that). Now I wonder if I will ever have the strength to have the will to love again. There were a million little things I loved about her, that I miss, and no other woman since has come close to doing all the cute shit my wife used to, like the imitation of a cat hacking up a furball, or the little "you fired!" exchanges (from bugs life). Or the way she would curl up against me. I wonder if all the cute in the world will just scare me away if I ever find it again. Or if I'll even have the nerve to embrace the fantacy and let love flow, or if I'll just sabotage it with some stupid behavior, so I can snuff it before I let it get too deep. I have broken up with every girl that I have said "I love you" to within weeks of saying it. (I don't say it lightly, when I do . . .) Alone is a dull throb that has the security of an abusive home. at least its home.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/30/2005 9:01 am

Hey, sharksy....

I am so sorry that your absence from AdultFriendFinder meant that you were going through such rough times. I am also sorry that you got a default judgement against you. She must have had a great attorney ... or , you didn't have a good enough attorney.

With my paralegal background, I cannot give you legal advice; however, I can tell you the same thing that we would have been telling clients at any place that I worked:

1. Document, document, document everything.
2. Do everything within your boundaries to do in accordance with the decree or Visitation Agreement as it is presently set out; if she does something out of line, document that.
3. Understand your rights as a parent and a father.
4. Be as involved as you can with your child(ren). Just because you may not be able to visit them in person, be sure to send cards or gifts directly to them and call them as often as you can. Document what you can with receipts and statements.
5. Mind your p's and q's.
6. Make sure that you don't get behind on your child support. Document all payments.
7. Make sure if you pay for any medical costs, get a receipt.

I think that you get the idea. When you get everything document, go back as soon as possible to Court to file for a Modification of Child Visitation and implore the Court to hear you out (through your attorney) and plead the impossiblities and impracticalities that are presently laid out for the visitation.

I know that you mentioned that you are working 3 weeks and back home for 3 weeks ... or something like that. Special visitation orders can and have been done in situations like yourself with specialized work schedules. A lot of attorneys don't mess with it, but think about it -- there are a lot of people who work as firemen, etc. who have strange work schedules that don't fit the norm of a standard visitation.

Whatever you do... never give up hope.

I will certainly keep you in my prayers......



PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
7/2/2005 4:27 am

Gee... everyone is always telling me how cute I am.... I must scare you to death, then *wink*

txrose is right, there must be some way of working it all out...


The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

rm_sharksnsails 46M
738 posts
7/5/2005 12:26 pm

texas rose, from the begining I think you have been one of my best fans. Thanks, no lawyers involved right now, either side, poor white trash like my wife and I haven't the money for that. A good lawyer wants five grand just to start on this shit. I don't think sitting bull was giving up when he broke the aarow and said , "I will fight no more for ever". He just got tired of the flood of inhumans that distroyed his peoples harmonious way of life.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/7/2005 8:44 am

Well... take the advice that I have posted above. There are many things that you can do without the attorney -- such as documenting everything etc. If you need a friend, you know where to find me!!

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