Sleeping Alone  

rm_sharksnsails 46M
697 posts
9/22/2005 12:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sleeping Alone


Everybody sleeps alone.
(What Dreams May Come...)
Yes, you may be bedded down by someone else, but when your dreams come you are quite by yourself.
It's not a depressing thought for me anymore (hasn't been for some time), sleeping alone. My dreams usually torment me anyway. I see my kids as the children I didn't get to watch grow up. I see the life I didn't have, the hero I wasn't. My dreams are lonely and filled with regrets. The great son I wasn't. All my failures laid out before me night, after night after night (actually day after day , I work nights ha ha) The courage I didn't have, the love I didn't make. About 8 years ago I learned to control my dreams, I set the scenarios in motion. Then something went wrong. now they mock me, and I have not had control of them for some time. Now I despise them. Sometimes I see my wife sleeping with other men in my dreams (God! I wish she'd give me the fuckin divorce). When I drink I sleep without dreaming. Although the physical quality of rest is less, the mental quality is sublime. This dreamless sleep is sweet relief from the oppressive thoughts that try to crush my spirit unrelentingly, merciless sleep.
When I wake I am happy, in this world I can repress my subconscious, and be logical and in the now.
When your eyes close, no one can reach in and comfort you, when your dreams come.
Everybody sleeps alone.

Note to reader: do not read the above as a tragic cry for help or even feel sorry for me about the content. The dreams are mine, and for all their suckitude, at least I'm still strong, still breathing. Bad dreams beat the Shiite out of the dreamless sleep of death. And, they haven't broken me, I know they never will.

Be Strong,
Sharks

__Huntress__ 55M/58F

9/22/2005 8:24 am

There is so much profound truth in the first sentence of this. I cannot tell you how much times I have been through this ... specifically, during my divorce ... !

Rest assured, while you may never sleep as soundly as you once did ... it does get better !

{=}


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
9/22/2005 9:56 am

I've lived with nightmares* so long we've come to an understanding. Now they only really bother me in times of stress.

We all sleep alone, but we can choose who to wake up to.

Hugs, take care darlin'

*Best left for private chat...

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


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