Demon battles, the battle of setting suns...  

rm_sharksnsails 46M
697 posts
4/9/2006 10:31 pm

Last Read:
5/7/2006 7:16 pm

Demon battles, the battle of setting suns...

So fellow soldiers and people at home, as of my last DB post I got a lot of flak from the commanders who rimind me not to forget I have friends, and I shouldn't. Today is a good day, it is a blessing no matter how I feel physically or spiritually or mentaly (yeah, sometimes I'm mental). So here is one we have all done, the battle of setting suns, or watching old friendships sail away into the past, disappearing over the horizon and leaving an acquaintance in the body where a friend once stayed. There is an Elliot Smith song, "Somebody that I used to know" that captures this feeling nicely so does Niel Young's "Needle and the damage done" in this particular case. The friend is a genuine NY, NY italian, who has great charisma and great drummer's chops, but has slipped down the dark path, and the freindship is grinding away. It's leaving is taking the form of a slowly increase abuse of the fact that I make money and he is always in dire straits, combined with the fact that his mind is always elsewhere and his direction is nowhere that I can tell. He is not the only of my friends riding this path, but he is one that I hate to see go there, c'est la vie. Also his loyalties are become as hazy as the glare behind his eyes.
Another thing that worries me (and this is the heart of the demon battles) is myself. A girl who was visiting my friend was feeling quite catty even though she had a husband in Iraq. This was not a case where I had anything to fear from anybody's judgement, or that man over seas, but that I took a pass on general principles (GP) I just wasn't into at that moment when it was a go. Then later I found myslef dwelling endlessy that I should have. Because it's been a while. So now I am wondering if my ethics and morals are a matter of convienience to me, or of conviction. I wish I could say I knew for sure. The DBs have always been a war fought on both external and internal grounds. The internal desire for woman flesh has been ravishing my ability to think logicaly and distracting me from my goals. Why should I have cared if this woman was married that wanted to throw herself at me? Because I belive in kharma, what goes around does indeed come around, and I would have, in my mind, on my spirit carried that weight, Im glad I didn't but not 100% only 66% and that's cause for concern. The idea is not so much to keep the sun from setting on the spirits of old friends (hell, even heros fall) it's to keep the sun from setting on my own spirit. IMHO.

Hope you give the darkness a whoopin we it comes to visit you, my hopes and prayers are with all of us.

ps I have no problem with promiscuity if said actions are not in conjunction with dishonesty.

Fox4aKnight1 43F

4/10/2006 2:43 am

Its not easy to deny what I call the skin hunger. Because it is sometimes so much more than just the hunger of the touch of skin, its also the want of being withsome in mind as well. But hugs .....I understand about friends.


(Princess Lips)

4/11/2006 2:01 am

Hope you give the darkness a whoopin we it comes to visit you, my hopes and prayers are with all of us.

I try like hell darlin..but fate is such a bitch!


rm_sharksnsails 46M
738 posts
4/14/2006 11:28 pm

Kelli, TOO TRUE! TOO TRUE!, yes it is so much more than skin lust, I am hungry for such a deeper thing than just physical contact.

Dys, arf, I like it when your talkitive. I have been reading more than responding as of late, not having time to compose the responses as well as these replies deserve. I wonder if the waiting which is giving me time to find myself, is not making me less interested in other people. I find that fantasy can be like water to a real experience being like alcohal. And though I love alcohal, hang-overs suck. Water is healthier too. But honestly, been thinking about soldiers coming home, I don't want to be the person with whom anybody cheats on someone else, it is not in my blood, regardless of who the spouse or BF is. and Yes, it is neat to read you talk about what I am feeling, by articlating it so consicly you have helped me to remember and reflect on it better. It is that I don't want to be brought down, and will lose a friend rather than go there again.

RLP, YOU are the light that whoops the darkness. I smile just to see you came by.

Flyaway, (I wish I could),
I work on oil rigs, my internet is monitored, sometimes I avoid this site because I am using a computer that is not mine. I have a laptop now, it'll do unless I go to a well wth connection, then it will be me gone again. I hate it, but job first sexy and intelligent dialog with wonderful people second.

I'm going to go see where my number one fan and friend has gone to. she has been working a steady job havin takin over for a secretary that quit where she was working.\\\


__Huntress__ 55M/57F

4/15/2006 5:00 am

All this says to me is that you have a heart of gold ! Baby, stay gold !


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
4/30/2006 1:02 pm

~ peekz in ~

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
5/3/2006 8:25 am

I miss my friend...

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

Become a member to create a blog