|Blogs > rm_sexypinay16 > Moving Forward...|
I was in a dark place. my whole body and being
seems to hurt and sore from the coldness and roughness on my way ahead. Its so dark and endless. I was trembling from fear and pain. I felt so thirsty and hungry but I could not find my way out. I must hide somebody wants to hurt me. My cold bare feet hurts while im trying to walk on these rocks and mud that seems to scraped the thin skin on my feet. Bu then I see some kind of light...a very faint one...but I barely see it. Its so cold and my feet and my whole body was so tired and hurting. I wanted to give up . I just want to rest when somebody held my hand but I cannot see his face but I could feel his warm guiding hands holding me. I could hear his voice telling me that its ok...I will get out and he will help me out. But I could only hear his strong assuring voice but I cannot see bec of the darkness.He is telling me that we are about to reach the end . Soft assuring words to calm my fears and ease my pain. I could feel the strenght of these two shoulders that carry me. But I was trying to see his face but I could not . Im too tired and weary to look for it. But
suddenly a very strong force seems to rock me...Mommy , Happy Birthday...love you... Not again.Ian my eldest son is waking me up. I opened my eyes looking at these two small angels. Oh my, ears are rolling down my cheeks. Back to the reality again. Its the same dream again.
WheW!!! I must stand up and start my day . I must not dwell on these sad things. I stood up and but as my cold feet touched the floor I saw the photographs in the dresser. The photograph of my two beaitiful kids. Then I saw the painting that I made years ago in the left side of the room. I stopped and I let my mind drift to all these things. God has a message for me. On this dreaded day He sent me a gift. He has blessed me with many beautiful and wonderful things in life. My kids, my talent, my work, my friends and my grace to withstand whatever trials I have. That dream that used to torment me all these years must not affect me anymore. Because God has provided me a lot. I used to ask Him who is the person at the end of my tunnel. Is there anyone? I dont know the answers . Whats important is faint light continue to shine for me so I could get through it and those are sons and few friends who are with me in all the days of my life.
I stood up with happiness in my heart. I must not let myself be sad on this day. I must learn to accept God's will for the time being. But the blurred images of the man in my dreams was lurking in my mind. Is there somebody like that for me? I dont care anymore. maybe there is ..maybe there is none. Who would like a single mom with kids anyway? How will I expect another man to love me if my own husband dont even learn to care and love me? How could I expect others to do that? For now ,I must learn to love myself first. I was wounded and scared . I have to heal myself first. I have my kids to do that. Just a simple smile from them makes my heart swells with so much pride and joy. Maybe no one will be there at the end of this very long and dark tunnel. My friends said that I must not waste my life alone and sad . Im young, beautiful, smart, wacky, romantic and sentimental but alone they said. But not all women who have such qualities are destined to belong to someone .
I took a shower and headed to the kitchen began my day.
Love..Faith ..and Hope..
10/20/2005 3:19 am
Hi Jim..A big thanks to you. For that very beautiful message.Im learning a lot from you. What did I do to deserve such beautiful messages from you that warms my heart and heal my soul? I dont know. Sorry if my messages are full of sadness and pain. Someday I hope to write happy ones. You are very nice person, thanks.|
Love..Faith ..and Hope..
10/17/2005 2:18 pm
From an older guy to a younger woman, I need to tell you about men and single Mothers. The right kind of men.
We look at single Mothers as someone that is more interested in a long-term or marriage-minded relationship. Single girls can go anywhere and date anyone. Single Mothers don't. They do not have time for head games, tricks, men with 'sex-only' attitudes and any more heartache. Meeting and befriending single Mothers are the best way to find that special woman that will be that great wife. She has seen the bad relationships and knows she needs to find the GoodOne. She is interested in the welfare of her children more than herself and is willing to look at a man who might be average, and knows that this amazing woman is better than he is...and will move mountains to make her happy.
A good woman brings out the best that a man has to offer. A single Mother is not a Player. She is an honest heart. She is that good woman.
We know and understand that single Mothers are not single People. We need to learn to love their children as we love their Mother. We need to gain their trust. She will read it in the faces of her children. She will know he is the man for her. And her children.
I would have no other. As you appreciate a good relationship, the man you meet will appreciate you. The ingredients of a lasting love.