Home Again  

rm_sexypinay16 44F
389 posts
12/6/2005 1:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Home Again

I went through a very emotional weekend. After seeing after 12 years, he has still the power to make me cry. I am not yet ok. I was in limbo for the past few days. Asking myself where this pain came from. After all these years I must be done with him. I cannot go back to those dark days of my life. I deserve to be happy. I must move on. I have forgiven him and I had forgiven myself too for loving him too much that I almost ruin my life and myself. I cannot afford to ruin my life again by loving him until now. This how I love. I can love anyone more than my self , more than my life , more than anything else in this world. I can bear tremendous pain just to love the person. I think 12 years is more than enough. I must leave that chapter of my life.
For the past few days, pain, pity, sorrow were been my companions. I was crying for the lost years.And now I think I must finally let go. I must not let past hurt me again and make me fall again. I don't know if I will love that way again ..that I dont know. It doesnt matter anyore.
I will go back again to this world where I find peace and refuge. I don't know whats instore for me ..que sera ..sera..whatever will ..will be. When I log in awhile ago...feeling of warmth envelopes me...happiness I guess...for I know I am missed. I dont need words...I dont need an assurance.
I am here now . I will just stay here and meet people. And I thank God that I found my way home again.

Love..Faith ..and Hope..

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