Is There Friendship When The Romance Is Over?  

rm_sexxikritter 52F
888 posts
8/19/2006 11:32 am

Last Read:
9/25/2006 8:30 pm

Is There Friendship When The Romance Is Over?


I need some advice from my blogger friends.
I am currently in a relationship, well sorta kinda, with a gentleman from this site. We have become really good friends and I cherish him and that friendship. We each want something different from a relationship and perhaps it would be best for us to no longer be lovers. The problem is that I don't want to lose his friendship but I have never continued a friendship when a romantic relationship ends.
It's a quandry for me. Any advice from those of you who have been successful?


õ KRITTER õ

free2chose2 66F

8/19/2006 6:49 pm

Step back, view entire situation and don't put yourselves in "opportunities way"

Don't worry, be Happy


rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/19/2006 8:20 pm

I guess I need to decide if I would rather have his friendship without the sex or continue both knowing that it will never have the result I would like. Thank you Free.
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ZZ_Todd 59M

8/19/2006 8:21 pm

Save the friendship, if you can, and if it is important to you. If he can't deal with a sexless friendship, then he obviously was never a friend in the first place.


cougarprey4play 40M

8/19/2006 8:32 pm

Unfortunately I can't give any personal advice because I haven't had to deal with a situation like that.

Though if I was, I think I would prefer the friendship more if at all possible. For some, it can happen but for others it just gets messy & in the way of other things. Many times one side or both will still want the sex & make the friendship impossible. Since you want the friendship over the relationship, then hopefully it will work for you & he will be understanding (especially since you both have different ideas of what you want in a relationship). If he does understand & accept it as necessary, then you have made a good friend as ZZ_Todd has pointed out.


expatbrit49 62M

8/20/2006 5:13 am

Its a hard thing to do, my PPS and I stopped out sexual activities for a while because of complications.... we were going to change to just friends but the underlying sexual attraction was always there and in the end we started up again as it seems that the only way we could remain friends and not be frustrated was to be friends with benefits.

The complications have only got greater.... but despite all that we are the best of friends and great lovers when the oppertunity presents itself

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/20/2006 6:39 am

Thanks gentlemen for your words. It's refreshing to see men honoring the value of friendship.
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digdug41 49M

8/20/2006 6:57 am

if you think he could deal with being friends then see how it works out I dunno I never had a problem with being friends with some one I've had romantic ties to but it seems that they did so I just leave it alone

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/20/2006 7:44 am

Thank you ineedit and dig. I think a conversation between he and I is needed soon.
õ KRITTER õ


rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/20/2006 11:13 am

I'm glad love hasn't entered into this, yet, KK. But there are emotions. I do care about him greatly and he would be an easy man to fall in love with. I'm with you on the talking about love lives too. That would hurt to the bone.
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rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/21/2006 7:02 am

{font face=papyrus]You're right, Mz Huny, we are adults. I tend to think too much, sometimes.
As for you Dusty, if you lived closer, we would be more than friends.
[/font]
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rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/21/2006 2:37 pm

Thank you Polly, for your comment I really want to try to keep the friendship.
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warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
8/22/2006 12:49 pm

If you can remain friends try to do so. Giving space and a little time helps, so that it happens gently and naturally. If this is the outcome you want, then subtly you have to take charge of the situation and say what you want.

Of course whether that works depends on him at that point, but you have done what you can, and that's what matters.

warm xx


rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/22/2006 1:44 pm

Point taken, Warm. I am just beginning to assert myself and my needs. I've always catered to others, so this is new to me also. Thank you.
õ KRITTER õ


rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/23/2006 10:30 am

Thank you Heavenly. I agree that remaining friends after being lovers can be difficult. I haven't been successful with it in my life. But, this gentleman is very special and I think that our friendship was so strong before we became lovers, that it might just be possible.


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